


More Than Nice

by Poppyseed29



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkwardness, Cute, Dry Humping, F/M, Fondling, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Horny Teenagers, Inexperienced!Barry, Inexperienced!Iris, Joe West's Literal A+ Parenting, Kissing, Masturbation, Netflix and Chill, Not Canon Compliant, Oral Sex, Sex, Sweet/Hot, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-01-24 12:30:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 50,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18571546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppyseed29/pseuds/Poppyseed29
Summary: Barry and Iris stumble and fumble into physicality together. As they fall deeper into their secret world, how will they handle their new found intimacy?  Senior Year High School AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Seems like things are going to get tense with tonight's episode, and I was missing simpler times for Westallen. Maybe you are too?
> 
> Here's a little trope fic, just for fun. I'll update the tags as we go. 
> 
> (Also, I promise I'll get back to my other stories, I'm just trying to figure out what comes next.)

The first time it happened it caught Iris by surprise.

It was Friday night and as per usual, she and Barry were getting ready to watch a movie. They started this routine when Joe was relegated to working the night shift every Friday. He was working an organized crime case, which required Friday night stakeouts. As a result, he forbade Barry and Iris from going out. In his view, it was better that they stayed home when he wasn’t available to approve of their plans, or to make sure they were in before curfew.

Iris had just finished making popcorn. She’d prepared it just the way they liked it: with real, melted butter and a sprinkling of salt. When she brought the bowl over to the couch, she was dismayed to find Barry flicking through the Sci-Fi options. Again.

She sighed as she set the bowl down on the coffee table. “Come on, Bear, we watched Bladerunner last week. It’s my turn to pick.”

“Nuh-uh,” Barry protested. “They just uploaded the whole Aliens series, and you’ve never seen it before.”

“Can we just see what else is on, first?” Iris asked, reaching for the remote.

Barry smirked and held it over his head away from her.

“ _Barry_ ,” Iris scolded, reaching her hand across him, stretching as far as she could. “What are you, twelve?”

He laughed.

To her dismay, Barry was surprisingly quick at the game of keep-away. So, there was really only one thing she could do.

She tickled him.

As soon as her assault began, his free arm snapped like a clamp around her waist as he tried to pull her off of him with one hand.

It was no use. Iris was relentless.

He flinched and writhed with all of the awkwardness of a late teenage boy. His brain hadn’t caught up to the recent growth spurts and it clearly couldn’t figure out what to do with its limbs. As a result, Iris was jabbed by the sharp angles of his knees against her shins, his worm-like squirming inelegant against her.

Finally, she seized an opportunity and swung a leg over his hip. She sat down with all her weight, pinning him to the couch. She caught his wrists and locked them against the armrest above his head.

“Ha!” She laughed, panting as she pried the remote from his palm.

Beneath her, Barry went still.

Iris glanced down at him with a triumphant smile.

He was looking back at her strangely. His expression was pained, indignant and panicked all at the same time.

She’d won, so she was certain the pained part was the regret of defeat. But there was something else about his look that concerned her. He was plotting something.

It felt like forever as she studied him anxiously, but it could only have been a heartbeat. Then his retaliation came, just as she’d anticipated.

Somehow, Barry wrestled his wrists free. In the blink of an eye, his fingers were teasing her sides, returning the torment that she’d bestowed on him just moments before.

Iris loved to tickle Barry, but she _hated_ being tickled in return. Sure, it made her laugh, but as far as she was concerned the strange cackling coming from her throat was a betrayal by her own body. That was why she clamped with her knees on either side of his ribcage and managed to squeal, “Barry, stop! I can’t --”

She wasn’t sure if he’d heard her. She could hardly hear herself through his cheerful giggling and her involuntary laughter. She threw her head down to his chest as if somehow that would stop his arms. The remote slipped from her hand to the floor. Her hips bucked against him, trying to still him beneath her.

Briefly, she became aware of how warm he was, of how his sweater was soft against her cheek; how he smelled like fresh laundry. She forgot for a moment that she was being tickled. A hot rush of blood flooded up her neck and into her face. Without thinking, she found herself nuzzling against the burgundy knit. Her breath fanned across the threads before it ricocheted back at her.

 _This is nice_ , she found herself thinking.

“Um… Iris?” Barry’s voice snapped her out of her reverie.

She sat up abruptly, realizing with some horror how this situation might appear to an onlooker. She scrambled off of him and back to her side of the couch, making sure to put as much distance between them as she possibly could.

“So… uh… did you want to see what else is on?” Barry asked as he straightened out his shirt. He picked the remote up off of the floor and offered it to her.

“It’s okay,” she deflected, waving her hand at him. “We can watch _Alien_. But I get to pick next week.”

Barry smiled and nodded. “Deal.”

 

At school, Iris was distracted.

Like most weekday mornings at 9:00 a.m., she was sitting behind Barry in AP History.

She found herself staring at the back of his neck. It wasn’t like she’d never seen him from this angle before, but something was different. She tried to figure it out.

Had he always had those freckles? Maybe they were new.

Nope, same old freckles. Same old Barry.

Yet as the week dragged on, she found herself counting down the hours to movie night.

“What do you want to watch this weekend?” Iris asked him after class on Friday, leaning her head against the lockers as he put his books away.

“I thought you were going to pick,” Barry replied.

“I was. I mean -- I am. I just wondered what you were in the mood for?”

Barry glanced at her sideways. It was only for a second. So why did she feel like the school radiators had suddenly been cranked?

“I’m easy,” he replied with a shrug. “Whatever you like.”

 

By 7 p.m., they were in their usual place on the couch in the living room. Iris was flicking through the options. It was hard to pick. Nothing was really sparking her interest.

Finally, she settled on _Adventureland_ . “This looks okay,” she said, glancing at Barry for a reaction. “Directed by the same guy who did _Superbad._ ”

He nodded happily. “Yeah, sure.”

Iris pressed play and settled into the couch, swinging her legs to the right side while Barry sprawled over the left.

The movie was more serious than she expected it to be. And… more charged? Was that the way to describe it?

Occasionally she looked over at Barry to see if he was enjoying it. He was quiet and focused. Maybe this wasn’t the right movie.

“What?” He asked after a while.

“Hmm?”

“You keep looking at me.”

“Do I?” Iris feigned innocence.

“Yeah, like, every five seconds.”

Iris shrugged. “You’re so quiet. I wasn’t sure if you liked the movie. Usually you talk throughout.”

“I’m just watching. It’s just not really like… a talking movie, you know?”

Iris thought about it. He was right.

“Hey,” he smiled, “It’s good, I’m enjoying it, I promise.” He reached his arm around her shoulder and squeezed in consolation.

Iris grinned back, and rested her head on his shoulder. “Good.”

 _This is nice,_ Iris found herself thinking again.

Barry made a subtle movement like he was going to take his arm back, but she burrowed into him, indicating that she didn’t mind if they stayed where they were. He didn’t need much convincing.

They leaned gently against one another for the rest of the movie, sinking ever so slowly into each other’s space. It wasn’t totally unlike them. Still, there was something about it that felt different to her. She was more aware of the gentle heat radiating off of him; more aware of his lean but dense frame.

The freckles on his neck seemed fascinating to her this evening, as did the way the tiny hairs on his neck stood up when she breathed just the right way.

She wasn’t aware that the credits were rolling until Barry turned his head. His cheek brushed her forehead, scratching her with slightest hint of stubble as he turned.

“That was good,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, it was,” Iris agreed, not moving away. “Although, I thought it was going to be more of a comedy.”

He chuckled a little. “That’s okay, it had a kind of realness.”

“It did,” Iris replied, stifling a yawn.

“You tired?” Barry asked, almost rhetorically as he looked down at her. Iris knew that look. It was the one that told her if she was too tired to make it up the stairs, Barry would muster all of his strength to try to carry her there. Not that he ever had, but she knew he’d try if she asked it of him. It was the look that affirmed their special bond.

“Not really,” she found herself responding.

Had she noticed how green his eyes were before now? Or how long his eyelashes were? And when did his face get so close? Were his lips as soft as they looked?

 _Oh_.

 _They are_.

Iris’ mind went blank. A gentle pressure was on her mouth: Barry’s lips against hers. Her mouth parted, and she cautiously tried to map the way it felt to kiss him. She couldn’t seem to register whether she was the one who started it, or whether he did, but he was definitely kissing her back.

It was surprising.

It was nice.

And it was _good_.

 _Oh no_.

Iris shoved off of her best friend. Her heart was pounding like a jackhammer in her chest.

His face looked like she felt: mortified. His mouth gaped, as he searched for something to say.

Iris was afraid to find out what it was, so she said the first thing that came to mind. “Don’t tell my dad,” she ordered.

Swiftly, she bounded up off of the couch, then up the stairs to her bedroom where she whipped the door shut behind her. She slouched down into the solitude, wondering what she’d done.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Iris summoned her courage before leaving her bedroom. She paced back and forth behind the door for a while, until she came to the conclusion that the best course of action would be to pretend as if nothing happened. 

When she arrived in the kitchen, Barry was sitting at the counter eating a bowl of cereal. 

“Good morning,” she said, in the most cheerful voice she could muster. 

He looked up from his bowl like a startled baby giraffe.

She ignored him and went to the fridge to fix her own breakfast. She was vaguely aware of Barry shifting uncomfortably in his seat. She told herself that if she acted as casual as possible, then maybe he would, too. That way, everything would go back to normal. 

 

For the most part, it did. 

 

Over the course of the following week, Iris continued to ignore the fact that their faces had accidentally fallen together the previous Friday night. Barry eventually picked up on her lead and did his best to follow suit. From time to time, she caught him looking at her pensively, but she pretended not to notice.

It wasn’t until the following weekend that it started to become harder to ignore. 

At 7 o’clock on Friday, Iris was ready for their usual movie. She flicked through the options, waiting for Barry to come down from his room. But the hour came and went, and there was no Barry to be seen. 

Curious, she climbed the stairs and knocked softly on his door. “Bear?” She called softly as she cracked it open. 

He was sitting on his bed with his headphones on, staring off into space. 

Iris entered, waving a hand to get his attention. He pulled the headphones off as soon as he noticed her. 

“Hey,” she said, “Isn’t it movie time?”

Barry looked at the alarm clock on his bed. “Oh, I uh -- I wasn’t sure if we were doing that this week,” he said.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Iris asked.

Barry stared at her. Iris wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up, but she held his gaze until his face softened. 

“Well, if you don’t feel like coming downstairs, we can always watch something here,” Iris suggested, ignoring the tension as she walked over to his desk and grabbed his laptop. She brought it to the bed and motioned for him to shove over before she sat down beside him. 

She opened up Netflix and handed Barry the computer. “Your turn to pick,” she said cheerfully as she leaned back against his headboard. 

He took it hesitantly and scrolled through the options. Iris watched him carefully as his brows knitted, a look of concentration coming over his face. 

Barry had a nice face. It was different than the faces she was usually drawn to. It wasn’t square and rugged, but it was angular and emotive. She always knew what he was feeling by the look he wore. For example, there was a tinge of frustration in the way he was frowning at his computer. Her stomach twisted as she recognized it. Was he mad at her?

“I don’t know,” he said, after a minute. “I’m not sure I feel like watching a movie.” He closed the computer and set it on his bedside table. 

“Oh,” Iris replied. “Okay then. What do you want to do?” She tried to sound cheerful, but her voice wavered a little in her throat. She didn’t want to fight with him. It was an accident. She didn’t mean to kiss him. And she wasn’t sure that he’d meant to kiss her either. 

But then Barry looked over at her. She was startled to find that his eyes were like emerald flames. He shifted his hand towards hers, reaching a cautious finger to graze softly at her wrist. “I don’t know,” he whispered, as he rubbed gently back and forth. 

His face was telling a different story. It was hopeful and intense in a way that twisted the knot in her stomach in a different direction. 

His touch at her wrist was feather light, and she couldn’t help but observe that his mouth looked just as inviting as it had last week. She wondered for a moment what it would be like to kiss him again. Would it feel the same now as it did then?

“Okay,” she replied, opening the palm of her hand and allowing his fingers to thread between hers. 

Her heart was pounding in her chest again. This was a bad idea, wasn’t it? A very bad idea.

As their faces drew near, she found that she didn’t care. He was so close that she could feel the warmth of his breath fanning over her. His eyes were searching hers, quietly asking for permission. She nodded, mouthing a soundless, “It’s okay.”

The lids of her eyes fell shut as his nose brushed hers. She tilted her head just so.

It didn’t take long for Iris to evaluate whether it was as good as last time. Their lips connected, followed by a rush of electricity surging through her nerves. It told her it was more than nice. It was a new and unexpected sensation, more intense than last time. 

Tentatively, she touched her hand to his cheek. They continued to kiss, his lips sweet as they moved against hers. It wasn’t urgent, but it wasn’t without heat. It was perfect. 

It was hard to say how much time passed. It might have been minutes, it might have been hours. At some point, Barry leaned forward ever so slightly and Iris slipped down to rest her head on his pillow. He followed her with a gentle arm at her waist, kissing her all the while. 

His chest rested against hers, the warmth of his body easing her to relax beneath him. She traced a finger up the back of his neck causing a quiet hum to sound deep in his throat. It was nice to know she could have that effect on him, so she tried it again. 

This time, his mouth parted. Instinctively, Iris touched her tongue to his. 

The warmth between them was building. Iris’ cheeks were burning. Other parts of her, too, she was surprised to find. Then again, the whole thing was surprising: kissing Barry. It was surprising how nice it was, how easily they responded to one another, how she felt like she could melt against him and be happy forever. 

It occurred to her that it wasn’t like any kiss she’d had before. Usually it was sloppy and rushed, and the guy had no idea what he was doing. This was tender. Tentative, but deliberate.

Suddenly, from downstairs, the sound of the front door opening and closing rumbled through the house. 

Barry’s head snapped up, a look of horror on his face. 

“Hello?” Joe’s voice called up the stairs. 

“He’s home early,” Barry whispered in a panic.

“It’s okay,” Iris replied, trying to reassure him. “Pretend we fell asleep.”

He nodded and shifted off of her. They closed their eyes and lay beside one another, feigning innocence with a safe distance between them. 

Iris tried to exude a state of calm, hoping Barry wouldn’t given them away. He’d never been very good at lying to her father. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she listened to Joe’s footsteps climb the stairs. 

The sound of the door knob twisting as he opened the door to Barry’s room felt like nails on a chalkboard. There was silence for a moment, and she knew her father was surveying them. It wouldn’t have been the first time Joe had found them like this, but it had been a few years since it had happened. It was also the first time it hadn’t been entirely innocent. 

“Iris.” Her father’s voice was low but not loud. 

She lifted her head, pretending to be just waking up. “Hi Dad,” she said, blinking sleepily. 

She looked over at Barry, who had tucked his hand under his head and was breathing deeply. It looked like he was sleeping, but Iris knew he was trying not to crack. 

She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “I guess we fell asleep.”

Joe sucked in a deep breath. “C’mon. Time for bed.”

She nodded and and followed her dad out into the hall. When she closed the door to Barry’s room, her father turned to her. 

“Iris, don’t you think you two are a little old to be falling asleep in each other’s beds?”

It wasn’t unexpected, but something about her father’s question twinged her heartstrings. The thought of ever being too old for sleepovers with Barry seemed like a dystopian future she didn’t want to live in. “I guess so,” she said slowly. “But -- it’s Barry, Dad.”

Joe sighed. “And you’re Iris.”

She frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Her father shook his head. “Nothing, baby girl. Just -- go to sleep.”

“Okay. G’night.” She pressed up onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. 

As she wandered into her room and climbed into bed, she wondered if that was a mistake. What if he could smell the kissing on her? He was a detective, after all. 


	3. Chapter 3

That week, the ruse of normalcy seemed easier to maintain. Maybe it was the fact that they were both terrified of Joe’s wrath should the truth come to light. Maybe it was because it had happened a second time. Maybe it was because whenever no one else was looking, they’d share this glance, like they had this secret that no one else knew about.

“So, I was wondering…”

It was Thursday after school, and Barry was slouched against the lockers beside Iris’, stumbling over his words.

“... if you, maybe — I mean, do you want to like...  _watch a movie_ tomorrow night?” He said it in a hushed tone, as if no one had ever done such a thing before.

Iris couldn’t help but giggle. “Yeah, of course, Bear. What else are we going to do? It’s not like my dad will let us go out.”

“Oh. Yeah. Right.” Barry shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “But what I mean to say was … I wondered if you wanted to — ” His eyes were furiously scanning passersby like he was terrified someone might hear them.

“ _Oh_ ,” Iris uttered, catching on. She leaned forward and whispered, “You mean…like… _watch a movie_?”

Barry blushed and looked down at his feet, hitching his backpack on his shoulder and shuffling his chucks as he did. “Yeah,” he confirmed, as he looked back up at her, briefly biting his lower lip. “I mean — only if you want to. It’s no big deal.”

Iris watched him as he continued shuffling his feet. It was as though he couldn’t stop moving. If she wasn’t certain it would have caused a scandal, she would have kissed him right then and there because he looked so cute.

 _Cute_ . Barry Allen, her best friend. She thought he was cute. Yeah. He _was_ cute.

“Okay,” she smiled, “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he grinned, “Great.”

 

Friday took forever to end. Iris usually loved her last period AP English class, but today it couldn’t end soon enough.

 _Do you want to like, watch a movie?_ Barry’s voice kept echoing in her head.

The dim light of his bedroom flashed in her mind, his face hovering close, his lips covering hers. The memory filled her with a warmth and softness that totally distracted her from what was happening in class.

When the bell finally rang, she rushed home. Barry would be along later. It always took him longer to clean up after his Chem lab.

She heated up some leftovers and then went to brush her teeth and touch up her hair.

She rifled through her closet. Everything she tried on seemed to accent the same lumps that made her feel self conscious. Then a summer dress caught her eye. It was hidden at the back of the closet, and she had to reach through the surrounding clothes to heave it out. It had potential. The only issue was that it had a low back that required her to go braless. She supposed that wasn’t the end of the world.

That reminded her.

She stared down into her underwear drawer. For the most part, its contents were functional, save for a few nice pieces she’d picked up when her dad had given her some money for new clothes. She wondered what color Barry would prefer. Not that she was sure he was going to see them. But just in case.

Red lace would be sexy. Then again, had Barry ever seen a girl in her underwear before? She didn’t want to give him a heart attack. Maybe the pink was more subtle.

At 7, she descended the steps to find Barry ready and waiting with popcorn and a movie already picked out. _The Princess Bride_. They’d watched it a million times before. Somehow, it never got old.

“You look nice,” Barry told her as she sat beside him in the middle of the couch.

Iris smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

It was easy to settle in this time. She leaned against him, and he slipped his arm around her, as if it had never been any different between them. They giggled at the appropriate parts and recited their favourite lines, but didn’t make it too far into the movie. By the time Buttercup was pushing Wesley down the hill, Barry was squeezing Iris’ shoulders and nuzzling into her cheek with his nose.

 _The boy has good timing_ , she thought to herself before she turned to him with a smile. She nuzzled him back and planted a kiss on his jaw.

It wasn’t long before their lips found each other. It was more familiar now, but no less thrilling. It still surprised her how nice it was to kiss her best friend.

Barry reached up and touched his fingers to her neck, caressing the sinews that he found there and sending a shock of shivers down Iris’ arms.

She tilted her head to expose the skin, while he traced the lines down to her collar bone. She hummed quietly, wanting him to know how nice it felt.

The vocalization encouraged him to continue.

Of its own volition, the strap of her dress migrated slowly to the edge of her shoulder. It fell lazily as Barry’s fingers passed the flimsy stretch of fabric. He paused for a moment to take in her bare shoulder. It wasn’t much. Nothing he wouldn’t have seen when she was leaving the bathroom after a shower. But the way he was looking at her made her feel like she’d just taken off all of her clothes.

He leaned forward and touched a gentle kiss to the newly revealed skin. The cloth that covered her breast bunched and threatened to come away from her body. Iris wondered what would happen if it did. Would he touch her? Kiss her? Maybe he wouldn’t want to see. Maybe that would be going too far. Maybe this was all just practice kissing to him.

Barry returned to kissing her mouth, and Iris felt her heart sink a little. Was she silly for wanting to go farther?

As if answering her thoughts, he reached an arm around her waist and pulled gently, encouraging her to climb on top of him. She settled, watching his eyes turn a dark shade she’d never seen before. It gave him a magnetic sort of look.

Beneath her, his body was warm and pleasant. Given the outfit she’d chosen, there wasn’t much fabric separating her from Barry’s jeans. A thin strip of lace was basically it. It occurred to her that it was the closest they’d probably ever been, save for the occasional tickle fight.

He leaned forward and wrapped a hand around her back. He sucked gently at the skin of her neck, as she closed her eyes and let her lips part in quiet breaths.

 _God, that feels good_ , she thought. She savoured the sensation, somehow not noticing that her hips had started to instinctively rock against him.

Barry, on the other hand, was very aware. It was his being aware that made her realize what was happening. When she moved in just the right way, she could feel -- something. Something long and hard. She rocked again, just to be sure. Yep. Barry was hard. For her.

To her surprise, it made her feel accomplished.

His hands clutched semi-desperately at her waist now, pulling her down against him with every undulation. He followed her movements in waves, surging upwards with his hands and body as she pulled away from him, only to anchor her in equal measure as she returned. His warm forehead nuzzled against her neck as he mouthed erratically at her collarbone. His lips trailed over the skin of her upper chest, while little threads of lightning sparked through her nerves.

There was a lightness between Iris’ legs, building steadily with each movement. She was compelled to chase the sensation. A whimper escaped her as she caught a particularly pleasant spot of friction.

Then, she felt something new. A hand at her breast, cupping her gently. A thumb, swiping over her, searching for her nipple.

Iris pulled back to look at him. Barry stared back at her with conflict in his eyes, as if to say, _Sorry, not sorry._

She wasn’t mad at all. It felt nice.  

Iris glanced down at the top of her dress: one shoulder free and the other half twisted where Barry still held her.

He dropped his hand as her eyes fell on it, as if it was only then that he’d been caught.

Iris shook her head and smiled. “It’s okay.”

She reached for the strap that was still in place, and slid it from her shoulder. She slipped her arms out of the dress, held the fabric against her chest and wondered quietly to herself if she was really about to do this. Then she let go, wrapped her hands around his neck and let the top fall away. “You can touch.”

Barry sucked in a breath. “Iris…” His tone was gravelly in a way she hadn’t heard before.

She never wanted him to say her name any other way. Her eyes closed and she leaned her forehead against his, waiting.

The cool air of the living room was prickly against her skin, but his fingers were warm as they brushed against her nipples. Her throat hitched at the contact. The delicate skin was incredibly sensitive. It felt amazing. She revelled in it as he slowly rubbed the tiny pebbles back and forth, seemingly mesmerized.

Iris murmured quietly. She sought out Barry’s mouth with her own, fighting to keep her lips on his as her breath quickened. “Could you — pinch?” She breathed.

“Uhm-hn,” Barry acknowledged, his tongue sliding forwards to find hers as he complied with her request. The new sensation sent tingling waves to her most intimate areas.

There was no denying it. Iris was aroused. She was sitting on top of her best friend of forever, making out with him while she was basically topless. What was more than that, he was playing with her nipples and it was making her wet. Like, really wet.

Grinding down, she found that hard ridge she was sure was his package and rubbed against it. He sucked on her bottom lip.

“Barry,” she panted.

“Yeah?” he breathed back.

“It feels good.”

“Yeah.” His voice was raspy and distant, like he was just waking up from some pleasant dream. He was having fun, too. Knowing this helped her to relax completely.

The feeling of lightness between her legs continued to grow. Until suddenly, and uncontrollably, it was the opposite. It was heavy and clenching, rippling through her.

She whimpered an unintelligible sound, burying her head in his neck as it washed over her. Her legs clenched involuntarily around his hips, while her heart pounded in her chest. Through Barry’s shirt she could feel his heart drumming the same frantic rhythm.

She stilled and they were quiet for a minute.

Barry dropped his hand from her breast, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders to keep her warm. She nuzzled against his neck, peppering kisses against the soft spot above his collarbone.

“You okay?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah.”

She lifted her head and studied him. His pupils were blown and his lips were pink and wet from kissing.

“Did you… um?” It was a wonder that his eyes could grow any wider, but they did as they implored her for an answer.

Iris suddenly felt shy. A hot rush of blood flooded up into her cheeks, and she broke eye contact with him. “I think so,” she admitted.

She wasn’t sure why she felt so embarrassed. Maybe because she’d never climaxed in the presence of another person before. And the fact that that person ended up being Barry… well. She wondered if she _should_ feel a little embarrassed.

Her fears were eased as the edges of his mouth flitted up into a little smirk. His head fell back on the couch with a dazed look, like he couldn’t quite believe his luck.

She noticed he was still hard beneath her. She was curious about that, but also hesitant. They’d already breached so many unseen lines between them. She wasn’t sure she was ready for another one. Not just yet.

She threaded her arms back through the straps of her dress and fixed them in the proper place on her shoulders. Barry watched her skin as she covered it up with a slightly forlorn look on his face, like he was saying a silent goodbye to her breasts.

She shifted off of him and sat beside him on the couch. “Maybe we should say goodnight,” she said, wanting to put the breaks on the evening. “Dad won’t be happy if he finds us like this when he gets home.”

Barry nodded, but leaned towards her to rest his forehead against hers. “You’re right.”

Neither of them moved. It took Iris a minute to realize they were holding hands.

“Iris?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we do this again sometime?”

“The movie or…?”

“All of it.” He said, with a certainty that surprised her.

She thought about it, then nodded. “Next Friday?” They needed some ground rules or this whole thing could spiral out of control quickly. A weekly rendezvous seemed manageable.

Barry nodded his head against hers. “That sounds good.”

“K,” she said softly. “I’m gunna go to bed now.”

“Okay. I’m just going to have a shower before I turn in.”

She nodded then said, “Goodnight, Bear,” before kissing him softly. She savoured it, aware she wouldn’t get another before next week.

She headed up to her room to change into her PJs and wrap her hair before climbing into bed.

Funny thing about Iris’ room: her bed shared a wall with the shower in the bathroom. She found herself listening intently as she heard the tap twist and the pipes rumble. She listened to the calming sound of the rushing water until she was only half conscious. In that murky place between wake and sleep, she thought she heard the quiet sound of Barry groaning. Her inhibitions dulled, she wondered if — no, hoped — he was releasing himself to thoughts of her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and kind comments! :) It is very nice to receive them, and I enjoy hearing what you think.

Iris couldn’t stop thinking about it. She went around in a daze, her mind drifting back to the way her body responded to making out with Barry.

Sometimes, if she dared, she thought about the sounds he made in the shower and what he might have done there. It made the blood rush to her cheeks just thinking about it. But she couldn’t help it. There was something strangely compelling about picturing Barry beneath the hot stream of water.

She came to regret sitting behind him in History class. She couldn’t stop looking at the back of his neck, counting his freckles and remembering how it felt to put her lips at the crook where it angled into his shoulder. 

“Ms West?” A voice stirred her out of her reverie. 

She snapped her head up. “Yes, Mr Turner?”

“Care to answer the question?” 

She stilled. She hadn’t heard the question.

Barry turned his chin over his shoulder, and whispered, “Cause of the Whiskey Rebellion.”

Iris shifted bashfully in her chair, “Um… Hamilton’s special tax?”

“Thank you, Ms West. And a reminder that Mr Allen won’t be able to read the test questions to you if you zone out during exams.” 

The class snickered, and Iris sunk down in her chair, furious and embarrassed. She could write her own tests, thank you very much. 

She sulked by their lockers after class.

“What’s up?” Barry asked, noticing her long face.

She shrugged. “Just what Mr T said in front of the class. Why would he say that? He knows I get good grades.”

“Maybe because you get good grades he’s holding you to a higher standard.”

“By insinuating that I’d need your help to write my tests?”

“I think he just wanted to make sure you were paying attention.”

“I always pay attention.”

“Usually.” 

“ _ Usually _ ?” She pressed him. 

Barry shrugged as he reached into his locker. “You seem a little distracted lately.”

Iris scoffed. “I’m not distracted.”

Barry laughed and nodded. “Okay.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He straightened up over her and gave her a piercing look like he could hear every thought that was running through her mind. 

_ When did he get so tall? _ Iris wondered as she looked up at him. She couldn’t help it. She gulped. 

He was studying her face intently, his eyes flitting down to her lips for a second, like he was thinking about kissing her. He wasn’t going to, was he? Not here. Then again, would she really stop him if he did?

“Ms West,” a voice called her name from down the hallway. She turned her head to see Mr Turner standing in the doorway of his classroom. He pretty much took up the whole door frame.

Everyone called him Mr T for short. The physical comparison was apt, though his wardrobe and hair (or lack thereof) were more Terry Crews than The A-Team. “Can I see you for a minute, please?”

“I’ll see you later,” she told Barry, before heeding the summons.

She followed Mr T into the classroom, where he sat on the edge of his desk.

“Am I in trouble?” Iris asked.

He laughed and smiled. “Not exactly.”

“Okay, so…”

“Is everything alright with you and Mr Allen?”

Iris was stunned. She wasn’t sure what to say. “Yeah, of course, why?”

“I know both of you have been through a lot. And you have a special relationship --”

Iris’ face flushed. She knew he couldn’t know what they’d been up to, but the conversation felt intrusive nonetheless.

“ -- as a result of that. But I don’t want you getting distracted. It’s your senior year. Your grades are top notch. You could go ivy league.”

Iris shuffled her feet. “I’m not sure we’d be able to afford that, Mr T.”

The teacher moved around to the back of his desk, rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a bunch of leaflets. “That’s why I think you should consider applying to these scholarships. You’d make an excellent candidate.”

Iris took the papers from his hand hesitantly. This wasn’t exactly the conversation she’d been expecting when he called her in. Then again she wasn’t sure what she expected. 

“Okay, I’ll have a look,” she said, slipping her backpack off of her shoulder and filing the pamphlets away. 

“I’m glad to hear it,” Mr Turner said. 

“Just so you know, though,” Iris said, straightening out her spine and summoning the determination her father was always telling her she had. “Barry isn’t a distraction. He’s my best friend.”

Mr Turner pressed his mouth together and nodded like he didn’t quite believe her. “Right.”

“Right,” Iris confirmed.

“Well, senior year can be tough when going away to college might mean going away from the people we care about. It can weigh on a person.”

Iris frowned. She didn’t know how to respond to that. “Thanks for the info about the scholarships, Mr T.” 

She turned on her heel and walked back out into the hall. She hadn’t really thought much about it just yet, but the knot forming in her stomach was telling her that she didn’t want to leave. She didn’t really want Barry to leave either, but she also wanted him to follow whatever path in life made him happy. 

She tried to put it all out of her mind. They’d cross that bridge when they came to it. 

 

“Finally the weekend!” Barry proclaimed happily as he flopped down on the couch.

Iris smiled in return. “Yeah, thank God. What a week.”

She’d dug another cute dress out of her closet. It was having the desired effect: Barry was staring at her intently. She met his gaze, aware of the quiet intensity radiating between them. 

“It felt like Friday would never come,” he said. His voice was quiet as he leaned towards her.

Her stomach fluttered as she followed his advance. 

So, he’d been thinking about her, too. 

“Screw the movie,” Barry declared as he closed the gap between them.

They fell together like magnets.

Whereas the weeks before were slow and exploratory, this week was urgent and heavy. They kissed messily, which given Barry’s usually neat and tentative style was a little surprising to her. Nevertheless, Iris happily accepted his enthusiasm and returned it in equal measure. There was an eagerness between the two to catch up on days of waiting, sideways glances, daydreams and secret plans. 

Iris threaded her fingers up through his hair, pleased to find that he made the same sounds as before. Only this time it was louder. She caught it as it escaped his mouth while their tongues intertwined. 

She pulled him by the collar and settled back on the couch. He followed her willingly, breaking from her mouth to kiss her neck, sucking at her pulse point and the sensitive spot just below her ear. She didn’t know until they started this whole thing that the spot existed. Now she knew that she loved being kissed there. 

She tried to return the favour, mouthing gently at his collarbone as it winked at her through the opening of his sweater. 

Somehow their legs tangled together. Iris tried to find the friction between them, rolling her hips against his upper thigh as his body pressed down into her. The skirt of her dress was riding up with every movement until her bare legs were wrapped around him. 

Skin. She wanted to feel his skin. It surprised her, but she followed the desire, slipping her hand under the back of his shirt and stroking slowly down his spine. 

In response, Barry traced his hand from her knee up to her naked thigh, reaching her hip before he made a muffled sound. He paused and propped himself up above her, panting. “Maybe we should slow down.” 

Iris’ chest was heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She lifted herself onto her elbows and studied him. “Did I do something wrong?”

He shook his head and sat up. “No – no, nothing like that.”

He sat on the couch, resting forward with his elbows on his knees. 

“Then what is it?” Iris pressed. 

Barry just shook his head again. “It’s okay.” He reached his hand out to hold hers and squeezed gently. “I just – I need to cool off for a bit.” 

He disappeared up the stairs. 

“Wh --” Iris exhaled. She stared after him, trying to figure out what just happened. 

Eventually, she realized there was only one way to find out. She made the familiar ascent to Barry’s room and tapped on the door. She didn’t wait for his reply before letting herself in. 

He was pacing at the foot of his bed, rubbing the back of his neck as he ambled back and forth. He stopped momentarily as she entered. 

“I’m okay… I’m okay,” he said. It sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than anyone else. 

“You ran away... because you’re okay?” Iris asked. 

Barry paused his feet and wrung his hands instead. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” He looked like he wanted to say something more, but gave up with a sigh and flopped down at the edge of his bed. 

“I was having fun,” Iris tried to reassure him, wandering forward to where he was seated. 

“I was, too,” he replied, grabbing her hands.

“Then why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” 

She took a seat beside him, and waited for him to speak.

“ _ Nothing  _ is wrong,” he tried to tell her. “It’s the  _ opposite _ of wrong.”

“So…” Iris thought aloud. Her stomach was twisting. She wasn’t sure why. “You’re not sad… you’re… happy?”

Barry’s eyes widened as if he was waiting for something to click. 

“Oh!” Iris exclaimed with a giggle. “Barry, that’s supposed to happen. It’s not like I haven’t felt it before. I mean… last week...”

At this, Barry blushed and shook his head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just… you’re Iris.” 

“What… so I’m not attractive?”

“No! I mean, you are! You’re beautiful. I just… I wasn’t sure what this was… how far things were going.”

Iris felt a pang in her chest. He called her beautiful. Not that he’d never said such a thing before. She just always assumed he was being complimentary. It hadn’t occurred to her that he might actually find her genuinely attractive. 

They’d been playing a murky game, hadn’t they? There was an unspoken agreement that they weren’t going to analyze what they’d been getting up to. They were just letting it happen,  seeing where it took them. Kind of like a science experiment. Barry liked science. And Iris was enjoying experimenting. She wanted them to keep enjoying it.

“I meant it when I said I was having fun,” she reiterated.

Barry turned to her with cautious eyes. “You sure?”

“Yeah, Barry.” She leaned forward and pecked him gently at the side of his mouth. “You were there…” She pecked him again. “Don’t you remember?”

He turned his mouth towards her to accept her kisses. “I think I’m starting to forget,” he mumbled through a smirk. He leaned back and pulled her on top of him. “You might need to remind me.”

Iris obliged, kissing him like his memory had been wiped and the only thing that would bring it back was her lips. 

His hands roamed cautiously to her thighs, bare beneath the flimsy skirt she was wearing as she straddled him. “Oh,” he muttered. “I’m not sure this is helping.”

“You still don’t remember?” Iris teased.

“No -- I mean -- I’m really -- uh -- worked up.”

Iris pulled back to look at his body. He was constricted in his skinny jeans. 

Curiosity was getting the better of her. Would it change things terribly between them if she’d seen his goods?

“I could help with that if you want.” The words were out of her mouth before she could overthink it. 

Barry’s pupils went from pin-drops to orbs. “You’d help…” It was probably a question, but the end of the statement drifted away in a breathless pant, as he relaxed back into the mattress. 

Iris kissed him, then trailed a hand down over his chest to the button on his jeans. She undid his pants and slipped a hand beneath the waistband of his boxers. She felt a little anxious, like she wasn’t entirely sure what she would find there. She was also excited because she wanted to find out. 

She watched his face as she wrapped her hand around him. The skin was soft like everywhere else, but the rest was rigid. He closed his eyes as she held him, his eyelashes fluttering gently against his cheek. Slowly, she stroked him back and forth. 

It was fascinating to her, to see how he reacted to her movements: the way his brows gently knitted, or how his lips parted with quiet moans. “Feels good,” he rasped. 

She leaned forward to catch his lips in hers, and he reciprocated readily. Her grip around him tightened. She wanted to make him come. 

“Mm, bit lighter,” he requested.

“Oh,” Iris blushed, realizing she was getting carried away. “Sorry.”

“S’okay. Maybe I’ll just…” He sat up a little and wriggled his jeans and boxers down his hips, revealing his long, pale length. 

Their eyes met briefly before Iris returned her hand to him. There was a freckle halfway down. She studied it as she stroked, reflecting on how she once thought she knew everything about him. Apparently, there was still more to learn. Things that only the two of them would know. 

Freed from the confines of his clothes, it was easier to ghost her hand over him lightly like he wanted. She curled her index and thumb together in an OK signal and caressed him up and down. She was surprised at how hard it made him. Perhaps more surprising were the noises he was making. 

He opened his eyes to watch, somehow reminding her that they were doing something illicit. She felt hot and guilty all at the same time.

“Can I touch you?” Barry asked needfully. His voice didn’t sound like the Barry she knew, but she liked it all the same. Just the thought of what he was asking for made her warm between the legs. She bit her lip and nodded.

He traced a palm up her bare thigh, displacing her skirt as he went until finally, he reached the edges of her underwear. Tentatively he tested the skin beneath, humming quietly in pleasure as he investigated. After a while, he searched for the top of the fabric and slipped his hand below.  

“Is this okay?” He asked, watching her reaction closely as she stilled. 

Iris fixed her eyes on him and nodded. “I trust you.”

She tried to wrap her mind around it. Her best friend had his hand in her panties and was about to touch her most intimate parts. She was both excited and terrified, but if she was going to be this vulnerable with anyone, she was glad it was Barry. 

He gently rubbed the skin of her outer folds, exploring. When he found where she parted, he slipped a finger in between, grazing past her clitoris to where she was wet. A quiet gasp escaped her mouth at the intensity of it. 

He replied with a quiet noise that sounded a little like, “Yeah.”

In her hand, his cock stiffened. She flicked her wrist, pulling him gently as he rubbed his finger slowly back and forth against her clit. The friction was creating that feeling of lightness again. They fell into a rhythm that was comfortable and good, rewarding and pleasant. 

He paused for a minute, propping himself up on an elbow and looking her over.

“What’s up?” She asked, suddenly concerned. Maybe they’d gone too far. 

“Can this come off?” He asked sheepishly, tugging at her dress.

Iris thought about it. It was probably a terrible idea. Then she thought about how she felt when her core was throbbing over him last week and she wanted to feel that again.

“If you do the same,” she bargained.

He didn’t need to be convinced. He scrambled to his feet and dropped the rest of his pants. 

“Shirt, too,” she requested.

He looked down at his sweater for a second before obliging. As he pulled it up and over his head, Iris stood on the opposite side of the bed and wriggled her shoulders out of the dress, until it dropped in a heap to the floor.

Barry looked dumbstruck. She knew from the look on his face that he liked the matching white lace bra and underwear, which were the only things keeping her from being totally naked.

She took him in. He may have been lean but he was still solid. His skin was taught over the lines of musculature down his abdomen. She wanted to trace the divots where his hips turned into his legs, pointing a distinct v towards his length.

“You’re amazing,” he said quietly as they stared at each other for a hushed moment.

Iris smirked. “Not so bad yourself.”

He kneeled on top of the bed, reaching out a hand and inviting her to do the same. She smiled as she joined him, wrapping her arms around him, feeling his skin against hers. 

“Feels nice to be close to you,” she whispered, pressing her lips to his shoulder.

He nodded, “More than nice.”

His hands caressed the skin of her lower back, venturing beneath the edges of her underwear as he rubbed back and forth.

Their breathing grew heavy as they felt each other. Barry’s hard cock rubbed inadvertently against her stomach. He slipped his hand further beneath her panties and grabbed a handful of her bum, lifting her slightly as he pulled her against him. 

It felt good, but a little barrier went up in Iris’ mind. “Bear, I’m not ready for sex,” she said resolutely.

He paused and looked into her eyes. “I know. Sorry, I didn’t mean to rush.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. This is good. I just — want to take things slow.”

He nodded and kissed her. “Me too.”

She reached a hand out over his cock and teased him lightly the way he liked. His eyes rolled back in his head.

“You can still touch me if you want,” she whispered.

“I want to,” he said huskily, slipping his hands down the front of her panties. After a little fumbling, he found her clit again and stroked. They hummed as they pleasured each other, her centre turning feather-light as he teased her.

“Can I … go farther?” He asked.

Iris nodded, spreading her legs a bit to give him better access.

He pressed on, seeking out her entrance with a finger. She shivered as he pressed into her, his palm grazing against her clit as he did.

They rubbed, stroked and kissed one another until they were both writhing, both edging into bliss.

“Can I take these off?” Barry asked, fumbling urgently with the clasp of her bra with his free hand, and tugging slightly at her underwear with the other. 

Iris couldn’t help but laugh a little. There was no way he was going to manage either task one handed. She detached from him for a moment and stepped back off the bed. She reached around her back and unfastened the bra. It fell away from her shoulders and she let it slide from her arm down to the floor. Barry made a strangled noise as he watched her hook her fingers under the edges of her underwear and push them to the floor.

His eyes were wide as he reached a hand out to her. “C’mere,” he said, guiding her to lay back on the bed. 

He leaned over her and said, “You’re gorgeous.”

Iris beamed. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He ducked his head to her chest and took a nipple into his mouth. Between her legs, his palm grazed up her inner thigh. He found her entrance again and pressed in with a finger. She mewled at the pure pleasure of the combination. Barry sucking on her tits and playing with her cunt was surely going to send her over the edge.

She was getting close, but it wasn’t quite enough.

“Bear?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you… more.”

He nodded and slid a second finger into her, stroking her long and slow as she adjusted around him.

“Mmnnn God,” she whispered, overcome with the sensation.

She reached for his cock and rubbed, slowly increasing the speed as they edged together. She wanted him to come. She didn’t care if they made a mess. She didn’t care if he came all over her. She wanted them both to finish.

“I’m close,” she panted.

“Come, Iris,” he rasped.

_ What did he say? _ Her best friend, her cute, nerdy Barry just told her to come.

“What did you say?” She needed to confirm. She tugged him a little faster, trying to let him know she was anything but turned off. “Tell me what you said,” she urged him.

“I said I want you to come, Iris. I want to make you come.”

She cried out as her core clenched in pounding waves. He pressed his fingers into her and held her firmly. The muscles enveloping him contracted involuntarily as her body shook.

He pressed his lips down on hers as she floated down from the high, slowly pulling his hand away from her as she relaxed.

“That was … really hot,” he panted into her ear.

Iris nodded, accepting more kisses from him. “Are you close?” She asked.

Barry nodded. He placed a hand on hers as if to stop her. “I can go to the washroom if you want.”

Iris shook her head. “I wanna see,” she said, shaking off his hand and continuing to stroke him sensually.

“Yeah?” He breathed in disbelief, searching her eyes as his lips parted in heavy pants.

She pumped him a little harder. “Yeah.” 

As soon as she confirmed, his dick twitched in her hand, and she watched with fascination as he quickly grabbed his head, catching the white fluid as it erupted from his length. He missed a little as it oozed between his fingers.

He sat panting beside her, then reached for some Kleenex beside the bed. “S’kinda messy,” he blushed with a laugh as he wiped it off his hands.

She smiled and turned on her side towards him, reaching a finger out to stroke his spine. “I don’t mind,” she said.

He smiled again, then leaned forward to kiss her. “I’ll be right back,” he said quietly, getting up from the bed and darting out the door. She watched his naked butt with a smile as he scurried away. 

The tap ran in the washroom, and she knew he was cleaning up. 

His comforter was warm beneath her, but the air of the bedroom was cool against her skin. She shivered and decided to get under the covers. As she snuggled down into his pillow and the soft plaid flannel sheets, she breathed deeply and closed her eyes. It smelled just like him. 

Barry’s footsteps announced his return, as did the soft click of the bedroom door as he closed it behind him. 

“Hey,” he said. She felt him pull back the covers and snuggle in behind her. He spooned her, resting his forehead against the back of her neck. “You okay?”

Iris nodded, without opening her eyes. “Mhmm, I’m good.”

His reached an arm around her body and found her hands, which she pulled into her chest. They were quiet as he stroked her thumb with his. 

“Iris?”

“Yeah?”

“This was nice.”

“Yeah, it was,” she agreed. 

“You’re…  really beautiful.” He pressed a kiss against her shoulder.

“So are you,” she confessed. She wasn’t sure why her heart was pounding in her chest at this exchange. He was objectively good looking. She was just stating facts.

“It’s kind of funny, isn’t it?” He said thoughtfully.

Iris felt her brows furrow. “What’s funny?” She opened her eyes and turned to him. 

He was blushing a little. “It’s... different than how we usually are.”

She thought about it. “I guess so. Feels good though.”

Barry nodded and squeezed her hand. “Yeah. Can we … keep doing this?”

“This specifically?” She was teasing him a little bit now.

“You know what I mean.”

“What do you mean, Barry?” 

“I wanna …” he couldn’t seem to look her in the eye. “I want to keep making l—each other feel good.”

Iris blinked. Did he almost just say what she thought he was going to say? When she didn’t respond he kept talking nervously.

“M-maybe we can try some other things too… y’know, when we’re ready.”

Iris watched him intently. She had half a mind to jump him right then and screw his brains out. Instead, she said, “I’d like that.” 

Barry nodded and smiled. “So… next Friday?”

Iris smiled. “Next Friday.”


	5. Chapter 5

On Wednesday, Iris sat in the guidance office, watching Mrs Wilson look over her transcripts. She was a portly, well-meaning counsellor who every senior was required to meet with to discuss their plans for after graduation. She had a reputation for being a great help to those navigating the stressful process of college applications. Still, Iris felt strangely nervous, like her life was under a microscope.

“Let me see here,” Mrs Wilson began. “Excellent grades, good recommendations from some of our top faculty. What are your plans for after school, Iris?”

“I’d like to go to CCU. I’m not sure what I want to major in yet, but I know that after I get my degree, I’d like to apply to the police academy and become a detective.”

Mrs Wilson smiled. “Following the family path?”

Iris nodded. “It’s all I ever wanted to be.”

Mrs Wilson continued to look over her file. “There’s a note from Mr Turner here… He’d like you to consider applying out of state.”

Iris twiddled her thumbs impatiently. “He spoke to me about that… gave me a bunch of scholarships to apply to — but my heart is here, and I know what it is I want to do.”

Mrs Wilson studied her carefully. “Well, Iris, you seem determined and in my experience determination serves a young person well. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to achieve all you’ve set out to do. It’s perfectly fine to be undeclared in your first year, but I would recommend looking into majors that will support your application to the police academy later on. I can give you a list if you’d like.”

Iris smiled. “That would be great, thanks.”

Her dad was cagey about how he became a detective. He didn’t want her to follow in his footsteps. It helped to have someone shine a light on the path she would need to follow.

Mrs Wilson printed a number of pages from her computer. “Have you thought about back-up schools?” She asked as she grabbed the paper from the printer and handed it to Iris.

“I was thinking Gem State and Keystone U,” Iris replied. 

“Both good options. As I’m sure you’re aware, the deadline for all in-state universities is November 30th. You attended one of the workshops on applications?”

Iris nodded. “Last month.”

“Well, Mrs West, you’re on the right track. I wish you the best of luck, though I’m sure you won’t need it. If you have any questions or need any help, you know where to find me.”

 

“How did the meeting with the guidance counsellor go?” Her dad asked that evening as the three of them sat around the dinner table.

“It went well,” Iris said. “Can you pass the noodles, Bear?”

Barry slid the Corningware across the table.

“Did she help you decide on a major?” Joe pressed. 

“She gave me some ideas,” Iris replied. 

“Any that appeal?”

She spooned a second helping onto her plate, giving her time to consider how to navigate the potentially volatile conversation.“Well, she said it was perfectly fine to start out undeclared. And she gave me a list to think about: psychology, pre-law, political science, criminology.”

Joe took a pause from twirling his fork in the noodles and looked over at his daughter. “Interesting choices.”

Iris stared back intently. She didn’t want to get into this now. “I thought so.”

“And what type of career would you be thinking of after that?” Joe asked, his voice flat as though he already knew the answer.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Barry looking nervously between them. He hated it when they fought. She couldn’t blame him. He’d had enough family upheaval in his life. 

“Those would all be great background for journalism,” Barry piped up innocently. 

Joe’s gaze transferred to Barry with slight surprise.

“Yeah,” Iris played along. “Journalism is a possibility. I’d like to keep my doors open, though, you know. A lot can change in four years. And with this economy, too.” She clicked her tongue and shook her head. 

“You’d make a great journalist, Iris,” Barry continued. 

Joe studied them carefully. She knew her dad wasn’t buying it, but with any luck, he’d be too tired to fight about it tonight. 

“How about you, Bear?” Joe asked, changing interrogation targets. 

Iris breathed a sigh of relief, while across the table Barry smiled happily. “Yeah, I met with Mrs Wilson yesterday.”

“Did you figure out where you are going to apply?” Joe asked, taking a sip of his water. 

“CCU for forensic sciences, Starling City for chemistry. And Mrs Wilson thought I should put my name in at Met U for their physics program.”

Iris’ stomach dropped. “Metropolis?”

“Yeah,” Barry grinned. “She said my SATs scores should be good enough to get in, and it's one of the best universities in the country.”

Iris put her fork down, suddenly unable to finish the food on her plate. 

“That’s great, Bear.” Joe encouraged him. “You’d do well there. And a new city could be a good change for you.”

Iris couldn’t believe her father. How could he possibly be encouraging Barry to go half a country away?

She pushed back from the table and picked up her plate.

“Hey, where are you going?” Her father chided. “You haven’t finished your food.”

“My eyes were bigger than my stomach,” she fibbed. 

Joe looked between the two kids thoughtfully. “All right you’re excused, but don’t go far. It’s your turn for the dishes tonight.”

Iris headed for the kitchen, figuring she’d get a head start. She needed something to keep her mind occupied.

The sink was filled with the remnants of Joe’s cooking, so she dispensed some dish soap and turned on the water, making it as hot as she could stand. She watched the stream with unfocused eyes as the water rose. 

Next year would be so different for them. She’d known it was coming for a long time, even looked forward to it. There was a lot to be excited about when it came to growing up and going away to college. Still, when she pictured her undergraduate life, she’d always pictured Barry there. She’d pictured them living down the hall in the same residence… maybe even getting an apartment together after freshman year. 

Now it seemed like that vision wouldn’t necessarily be the case. She wished she could slow down time. It was starting to feel like it was galloping ahead without any concern for how their lives might change. 

She dipped her hands into the water and scrubbed at a wooden spoon before placing it on the rack. 

The tread of footsteps behind her announced the entrance of her father and Barry. They were chatting cheerfully, but she could hardly focus on what they were saying. She kept her eyes lowered to the sink, fearing that they might see the tears welling in her eyes if she looked up. 

“Well,” Joe sighed. “I’m going to go put the game on upstairs.”

“ -- And fall asleep?” Barry suggested with a smile.

Televised sports were practically a lullaby for Joe after a hard day’s work. He’d watch a few minutes after dinner and end up passing out. 

“Don’t sass,” Joe mock-scolded. “Just wait until you start working full time.”

“Mhmm,” Barry laughed. 

Joe was always telling them that. They didn’t really believe him. When they grew up, they’d always have energy after work.

“Guess I’d better say goodnight then,” he conceded, giving Barry a hug. “Goodnight Iris,” he kissed her on the cheek as she continued to wash the pots and pans.

“‘Night, Dad.”

Barry loaded the remaining plates and glasses into the dishwasher and turned it on. When he was finished, he grabbed a dish towel from the oven handle and started to dry the cookware from the rack where Iris was piling it.

“You okay?” He asked. 

“Sure,” she said. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Barry studied her as he dried a pot and put it away. “Maybe because you pulled an emergency eject on the college conversation.”

She laughed, then sighed. “I didn’t want to fight with him about the police academy tonight. Thanks for the save, by the way.”

Barry nodded and smiled. “No problem. You know, if Joe is truly serious about not letting you apply, journalism really could be a good back-up. You love the school paper, and you’re a great writer. It could be a full-time career.”

Iris looked up at him. He was serious.

“Really, Barry? Haven’t you heard? Journalism is dying.”

“Is it though? Maybe it’s just going through an adjustment period while we figure out what journalism means in a digital world. You could be part of that shift.”

“If it interests you so much, maybe you should apply for it,” she teased, splashing him with a bit of water.

“Hey!” he exclaimed, raising the towel to block his face. 

She giggled as he hip-checked her in retaliation. She stumbled sideways from the force.

Two could play at that game. She checked him back as she returned to the sink. 

“C’mon,” he protested, reaching his hand into the sink to slosh a little water up into her face.

She shrieked and squeezed her eyes shut as her hands instinctively flew up to protect her face. It didn’t stop a few drops and a cloud of foam from almost landing in her eye. “ _ Bar- _ ry!” She scolded.

“Oh-ho-no,” he laughed as he saw what had happened. “I’m sorry. Here.” He stepped forward and touched a clean edge of the tea-towel to her eye, wiping away the soap bubbles. He turned on the tap and dipped the cloth under the clean water, then continued to rub away the evidence of their horseplay. 

Iris stilled while he held her face and gently tended to her. She watched with one eye as he studied her carefully, making sure to rinse everything away.

“You could have blinded me,” she admonished him.

He giggled a little, holding her chin as he gave her a final inspection. “Unlikely.” 

She could feel the heat radiating off of him. It was soothing and she relaxed a little, her back resting against the edge of the counter. 

“Almost good as new,” he said quietly. 

“Almost?” Iris inquired. Almost wasn’t going to cut it. 

To her surprise, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss at the corner of her eye. “There.”

She looked up at him with wide eyes, like she couldn’t believe his audacity.

Then he surprised her again. 

His head tilted forward and he planted one on her, square on the mouth.

“What are you doing?” She panicked, pushing him away.

“Kissing you. I thought that was obvious.” There was a glint in his eye. Most of the time Iris loved that glint, but she couldn’t help feeling like it shouldn't be there. Not right now. Not when her father was upstairs.

He leaned in again, but Iris turned her head so he only caught the corner of her mouth.

“You’re breaking the rules,” Iris said, pushing off of him again and scrambling away.

Barry gave her a puzzled look. “What rules?”

“ _ The Friday-night rules _ ,” she urged in a whispered voice. 

His brows knitted while his lips tightened into a pout. “I didn’t realize we were being strict about it.”

Iris’ stomach was twisting. Everything was simple: Friday nights were their special time. It was neat, it was organized, it was manageable and predictable. Why did he have to go and make it complicated?

“My dad is upstairs,” she whispered in a harsh tone, gesturing above her.

“I know that,” he whispered back. “We’re down here. What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is: what if he comes downstairs? He’ll kill us.” 

Barry’s face softened and he sighed. Maybe he could see the sheer panic on her face. “I was being careful,” he tried to defend himself.

“Not careful enough.”

“Fine,” he surrendered with a reluctant sigh. “No kissing outside Friday nights.”

Iris nodded resolutely and turned back to the sink. “Thank you.”

He glanced sideways at her as he took another pot from the drying rack. She avoided his eyes, choosing instead to focus on the pot she was scrubbing.

“How do you do that?” He asked after a couple of minutes.

“Do what?” She asked. 

“Turn it off.”

“Turn what off?” She paused and looked over at him. His eyes were sad, maybe even a little bit hurt. Her stomach twisted again.  _ Don’t look at me like that _ , she wanted to say, but before she had a chance, the floorboards behind them creaked.

As predicted by Iris, Joe was coming up the hall in search of a glass of water. “Everything okay in here?” He asked, as he entered the kitchen and headed for the cupboard. “Thought I heard yelling.”

Iris scrubbed still more furiously at the pot before tossing it carelessly on the rack. “We’re fine, Dad. Just joking around.” She pulled the plug from the sink. The drain hissed and gurgled voraciously as it emptied. 

She dried her hands, taking just enough time to shoot Barry an  _ I told you so _ look before she turned away and headed up the stairs. 

Once in her room, she flopped down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. 

She’d kept it pretty cool in front of her dad, but she knew she had to get out of there quick. Her heart was pounding in her chest. 

She closed her eyes and covered her face with her arm. The back of her eyelids were playing reruns of Barry touching the cloth gently to her face, then pressing his lips against hers.

A little voice inside her head wondered if it would really be so bad if they kissed whenever they wanted. 

_ Like boyfriend and girlfriend? _ Asked another little voice.

_ No, not like boyfriend and girlfriend,  _ replied the first. _ Like a couple of friends who happen to like kissing each other sometimes. _

_ Not just kissing _ , rebuked the other voice.

Iris rolled onto her stomach, shoved her face in a pillow and let out a strangled cry of frustration. 

This was all starting to get messy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy to hear y'all are enjoying this one :). Thanks for reading!

The next evening, Iris sat at the dining room table, finishing up the last of her homework. She was editing the final draft of a History paper that she felt particularly proud of.

“How’s it all going?” Her dad asked, wandering up from the basement where he’d been organizing his record collection. It was how he liked to spend his days off: listening to music, drinking coffee, organizing his records.

“It’s good,” she said, tapping out the last few edits. “I’m almost done.”

Joe smiled and nodded. “That’s my girl.”

She smiled brightly back up at him.

“Hey, did Barry seem off to you today?” He asked, sitting down across from her.

A little pang of guilt thrummed in her chest. So she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. He’d hardly spoken to her all day.

When she tried to ask him what was wrong he’d said, “ _Nothing_ ,” with great emphasis. It was a surefire indication that something was definitely bothering him. She had a sinking feeling it was because of her.

When he got home from school, he’d gone straight up to his room and didn’t come down even when Joe offered him the leftover noodles.

“Yeah,” Iris admitted. “He did.”

Joe nodded and rubbed his finger against his chin. “I know he has his up and down days. We’d just been doing so well lately, I thought maybe we were moving past all of that.”

Iris knew that Joe cared for Barry like he was his own son. He was deeply invested in making sure that Barry was brought up in a loving home after his mother’s death.

“Maybe I should go talk to him,” Joe thought aloud.

He often managed to bring Barry out of a funk with a heartfelt chat, but Iris wasn’t sure that would work this time.

“I’d give him a little space, Dad.”

“Oh? How come?”

She turned her head and pretended to look out the living room window. “I don’t think it’s about his parents.”

“What do you think it’s about?”

She pretended not to know and shrugged. “School? The whole college thing is kind of stressful for everyone.”

Joe nodded. “For you, too?”

“Of course,” she said, putting a voice to something she’d been feeling for a while now.

“You wanna talk about it?”

She thought about what to say. “It’s just all going to be different, you know? I mean I’m excited, but moving out is going to be a big step. It’ll be strange without you and Barry around.”

“Not so thrilled about Barry applying to Met U, are you?”

She faked a smile. Her dad knew her too well. “No — but I can’t tell him that.”

“Why not?”

“He should go where he wants to go. He should get a good education, get the chance to live without the shadow of being the boy whose dad is in prison for the murder of his mom.”

“And you think he won’t do that if you tell him you’ll miss him?”

Iris pressed her lips together. Her eyes were stinging.

“Iris, you don’t always have to be the strong one. Barry’s probably going to miss you, too. But you won’t know for sure if you don’t tell him.”

“I’ll be fine, Dad.”

Joe frowned as though he felt she’d missed the point. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone in his pocket.

“One second, Iris -- Detective West,” he said as he held it to his ear. “Mhmm. Okay. _What_? You can’t be serious. Okay. All right. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

It was never good news when her dad got called into work, but Iris couldn’t help feeling a little bit relieved. She wasn’t prepared for this conversation.

“I have to go in,” he said as he hung up.

Iris nodded. She figured as much.

He rushed around collecting his badge, coat and wallet, pausing only to kiss her on the head. “Don’t wait up,” he said. “But check in on Barry, would you?”

“I will,” Iris nodded. “Be safe.”

Her dad left, and she went back to editing her paper. When she finished, she printed a copy, put it in her school bag and climbed the stairs.

She listened for sounds of movement in Barry’s room as she approached his door. There was nothing. Maybe he’d fallen asleep.

She had half a mind to go in and spoon him. Maybe that would make the dull ache in her chest go away.

 _Would that be bad?_ She mulled it over. She did promise her dad that she would check on him. She’d just be keeping her promise.

She tapped lightly on the door. No answer.

She cracked it open.

He was lying on his bed, his back to the door, curled almost in the fetal position. The room was dark save for the dim light of his bedside lamp.

“You awake?” She asked softly.

“No,” he replied.

She couldn’t help but chuckle in response. “My dad got called into work for the night,” she said, sauntering over and sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Okay,” he responded distantly.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” She asked him for the fifth time that day.

“I’m fine.”

“If you say so.” She resolved to leave it alone.

The house was quiet around them. She looked aimlessly around his room. “You know... he said not to wait up,” she mused.

Barry rolled onto his back and looked at her.

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, hoping it would make him laugh. Instead, he looked puzzled.

She sighed internally. He could be so dense sometimes. “Do you want to… move our Friday plans up a night?” She asked, spelling it out for him.

His brows knitted. “I thought you said no kissing until Friday?”

“I know…” she acknowledged, “But that was when my dad was in the house.”

“That’s kind of confusing, Iris.” He rolled away from her again.

Her stomach dropped. She hadn’t anticipated that he might turn her down. “Okay, well…” Her hand hovered over his shoulder. She considered leaning over to kiss his cheek, but thought better of it. “Goodnight, then.”

She returned to her own room, changed into her PJs and climbed into bed. As she closed her eyes, she sucked in a deep breath and tried to unknot the pit in her stomach. Why did it feel so awful?

 

Friday was somehow worse. Barry continued to be sullen all day, starting with breakfast when he hardly looked at either Joe or Iris.

“I thought you said you were going to talk to him last night?” Joe questioned after Barry went back upstairs to brush his teeth.

“I tried to,” Iris replied.

Joe took a sip of his coffee. “And? Any news on what’s eating him?”

“Not me. I mean -- I don’t know.” A hot rush of blood flooded up her chest and into her cheeks. Her dad didn’t seem to notice her Freudian slip.

“Well, try to find out, would you?”

 

On the walk to school, Barry was quiet and distant. Sometimes he looked thoughtful like he was going to say something. She kept waiting for him to speak, but he never did.

By the end of the day, she was getting downright worried. She waited anxiously for him to get home while she fixed some food and ate it by herself. When she had finished and he still wasn’t home, she started pacing by the door. There was only one place he would have gone if he was this late. Her dad wouldn’t be happy about it.

Finally, Barry busted in through the front door. The first of November’s winds rushed in behind him along with a pile of fallen leaves.

She stood abruptly from the perch she’d taken on the steps and watched him as he threw his backpack to the ground. He looked angry.

“Where were you?” She asked.

“School,” he said flatly, as he took off his jacket and hung it on a hook by the door.

“Until almost 7 o’clock?”

He shrugged and avoided her eyes as he kicked off his chucks. He rummaged in his backpack for his lunch bag, yanked it out and headed towards the kitchen.

“Do _not_ walk away from me, Bartholomew,” She called as she followed him down the hall. “You went to Iron Heights, didn’t you?”

He tossed his empty Tupperware emphatically into the sink. “And what if I did?”

“You know you’re not supposed to go without my dad.”

“Well, I didn’t even get to see him anyway, so it doesn’t matter,” he spat, as he threw his lunch bag into the back of the cupboards. The door slammed shut with a bitter thud.

Iris blinked. “Wait, what?”

“He’s in solitary for three days, starting yesterday,” Barry said, leaning back on the kitchen counter and scrubbing his hands over his face.

“I don’t understand.” Iris tried to catch up. “Why is Henry in solitary?”

He shook his head like he didn’t know. “Some guys threatened him. The guards said it was for his own protection. I don’t underst -- ” He sucked in a deep breath. “I just wan --” He heaved again like he didn’t get enough oxygen the first time. “ -- wanted to talk to him.”

Iris hated seeing him like this: like his whole world was falling apart all over again. Like he couldn’t get air into his lungs.

“Bear,” she tried to soothe, stepping forward and threading her hands around his waist. She pressed her head into his chest, wishing the contact alone could unburden him.

It didn’t help right away. He was stiff in her arms, still fighting to inhale. She wasn’t deterred. They’d been through this before. She held on tight until his breathing started to slow, and he was able to suck in a long, deep breath.

“I’m sorry you didn’t get to see your dad.” She said.

He nodded into her shoulder. Something wet fell onto her collarbone. He was crying silently.

“Oh Bear,” she hummed, reaching up to hang her arms around his neck and pull him further down into her.

Tentatively, he put his hands on her waist. She squeezed him tighter, willing him to melt into her. She could make it all go away if he’d let her.

His fingers clutched at a thread of exposed skin between her shirt and jeans. He mindlessly rubbed his fingers back and forth like he was only half paying attention.

Iris rested her head in the crook of his neck. His skin was warm against her cheek, and she couldn’t help but plant a kiss there. She didn’t know if that’s what he wanted or needed. Perhaps selfishly, it made her feel better.

She followed a trail of freckles up his neck to his jaw, peppering sweet kisses the whole way. She sought out the streams of saline on both cheeks, kissing them away while he held his eyes closed. She paused to admire how his eyelashes were clumped together in bunches.

He relaxed in her arms, but didn’t acknowledge her affection.

Testing the waters, she pecked the side of his mouth. He twitched, like he was thinking about it.

She decided not to push, and laid her head back into his shoulder.

They held each other quietly, swaying gently back and forth.

After some time, his posture softened. He threaded his arms all the way around the small of her back and squeezed, lifting her slightly as he burrowed his head into her shoulder.

“I want to kiss you on more than just Fridays,” he said softly in her ear.

Iris’ stomach twisted. She pulled back to look at him, not sure of what to say. “Bear, I — ”

“We don’t have to when Joe’s home, if it makes you uncomfortable, but Fridays aren’t enough for me.”

Why was she getting warm between her legs? _Stop that,_ she told herself.

But then she found herself nodding. “Okay.”

He nodded back and pressed his forehead into hers. He lifted his hands to hold her jaw, tilted her chin up and kissed her. He pulled her face into him as he leaned back against the counter.

Iris followed him willingly, reaching up to his mouth with her whole body. She pressed into him, desperate to be close after feeling so distant for two whole days.

He grabbed her waist and turned them around, pinning her against the counter as they frantically continued to kiss.

“We can’t -- get -- carried away, though,” she panted as he trailed his lips down her neck.

“I know,” he mumbled, pulling at the collar of her button down shirt for better access. Given that it was only held together by snap clasps, the gentle tug was enough to pop open the top two buttons.

He lifted his head as he realized what had happened, and proceeded to tear the rest open. Their mouths reconnected and he pushed her further back against the counter.

She huffed a little laugh. “Then what do you call this?”

“Maximizing alone time,” he rasped, pulling open the button on her jeans. Audaciously, he slipped his hand down the front of her pants. She didn’t stop him. Instead she wriggled excitedly at his skin on hers. It tickled until he pressed a finger between her folds and made contact with her clit. Then it was electric.

Her mouth fell open slightly as he rubbed. He took the opportunity to suck on her bottom lip. She squirmed between him and the counter, chasing his touch and the way it made her feel.

“Bear — don’t you think — shouldn’t we — relocate?”

He broke into a grin. It was the first one she’d seen in two days. He let go of her, and stepped back, still smirking. “Where to?”

She took his hand and led him up the stairs to her bedroom. She closed the door behind them and stepped forward, laying her hands on his chest as she craned her neck up to kiss him.

He brushed the top of her shoulders with his hands, pushing her shirt down her arms. It fell softly to the floor in a heap.

She hooked her arms around his neck, while he reached for the clasp on her bra. He fumbled for a minute, finally got it, and pulled it from her body.

“I can’t believe I get to undress you in your room,” he growled as he nipped at the soft skin beneath her ear.

This proclamation sent a fresh wave of hot blood to her nether regions. She felt guilty about how her body was reacting to him, but she couldn’t help it.

She pulled his shirt up over his head before they made quick work of each others’ jeans. Barry was left in his striped boxers, while Iris was covered only by her turquoise cotton underwear. She hadn’t remembered to put on anything sexier when she’d gotten home. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care. He just backed towards the bed and pulled her on top of him.

She straddled his leg as she laid down, kissing him as he threaded his hands into her hair, and caressed her lower back.

Where lightness had been her body’s response before, today it burned with a heat that she worried she wouldn’t be able to contain.

“Iris. I love — “

Her heart stopped.

“— being close to you.”

As quickly as it had missed a beat, her heart revved and sped ahead.

“Want to make you feel good,” he continued whispering.

She nodded as the panic subsided, nuzzling into his neck as they shifted against each other. They built a steady cadence as she ground down onto him and he bucked back into her.

He traced a hand up and down her side, then to her breasts, where he swiped his thumb over her nipple. This, combined with the friction between them was going to be all she’d need.

At least, that’s what she thought until he tilted his hips, forcing her forward over him to where he could take a nipple into his mouth. He swirled his tongue languidly over the hardened nub.

She moaned softly, not recognizing the sound of her own voice as it left her mouth.

He hummed an encouraging, “Mhmm,” in return.

“Bear,” she said hoarsely.

“Mhmm?”

“I —“ She couldn’t seem to find the rest of her words.

He didn’t mind. 

He reached a hand up into her hair and kissed her deeply, touching his tongue to hers, enjoying the gentle heat between them. With the other hand at her low back, he encouraged her rhythm.

It was still mesmerizing to her what it felt like to be close with him: how warm and right it felt, how high he drove her.

She thought about what it would be like to get rid of the remaining fabric on their bodies; how it would feel to have nothing but his skin against her, how she might take his length in her mouth and lick it slowly, or how it might feel if he slid inside the wet hot heat of her.

 _Would it hurt?_ Asked a little voice in her head.

But, oh God if the pounding radiating through her centre was any more heightened when he was inside of her than it was now, she would _so_ be willing to risk it. Her body stiffened over him as her legs clamped around his thigh. She cried out loudly, trying to stifle the sound to no avail by burying her face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and clutched her close, holding her as she shivered through her release. She listened to his heart beating in his chest as she caught her breath.

After a few minutes, she sat up, smiling. She kissed him repeatedly then surveyed his body. “Do you need to — I could…” She asked, her fingers slipping beneath the waistband of his boxers.

“Only if you want to,” he said.

“I want to,” she said eagerly, pulling at the edges of his boxers.

“Okay,” he smiled, sitting up for a minute and lifting his hips so that she could free him from his underwear.

She straddled his legs and grabbed a hold of his length, caressing him lightly the way he’d asked for last week.

He settled back onto her bed and closed his eyes.

Again, she found she loved watching his face and all the little expressions he made. In swift strokes she brushed him teasingly down to the base, pulled him gently as she extended, flicked her wrist over his head, then repeated the motion.

He flexed happily in response to everything she was doing, growing longer and harder by the minute until his head was a deep shade of reddish purple.

He grunted and shifted beneath her. “Iris, I’m getting really close,” he warned between pants.

She tugged a little harder and a little faster. He was twitching in her hand, throbbing against her palm.

She wondered what he tasted like.

She didn’t get a chance to find out. He was erupting into her hands, shooting a pearly white fluid that she just managed to catch as he grunted and convulsed.

“Mhmph,” he panted as he sat forward. He put his hand around her neck and pulled her in, kissing her repeatedly. “Sorry for the mess.”

“I told you I don’t mind,” she replied.

“Yeah, but, I didn’t — get it all over you last time.”

Iris looked at her hands and shrugged. “It’s not all over, just my hands.”

She kissed him again, then stood up from the bed and went to the door. As she reached it, she laughed.

“What’s funny?” Barry asked from the bed.

“Um, do you mind getting the door?”

He grinned and hopped to help her, opening the door and giving a gentile gesture before she headed out into the hall.

She wrestled the bathroom tap on with her wrists, and washed her hands under the warm running water. Barry leaned against the door frame, watching her. “You’re beautiful,” he said.

She smiled bashfully as she dried her hands. “You’re naked.”

He looked down at himself. “I guess I am.”

“We should get dressed,” she replied, pulling him back towards the bedroom.

“If you say so.” He grabbed his clothes from the floor while Iris got out her pyjamas.

They dressed in silence until Iris asked, “Bear, are we good?”

He looked over at her as he adjusted his shirt. “Can I kiss you when I want to? So long as Joe isn’t home?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and nodded.  

“Then, yes.” He said.

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Well," Barry sighed, "He _did_ take me in out of the goodness of his heart… so I probably shouldn’t risk getting kicked out.” He laughed like it was just a joke. Deep down, they both feared it was a serious possibility.

“I’m going to go to sleep now,” Iris said, knowing they would need to separate.

“Okay,” Barry agreed. “G’night Iris.” He kissed her one last time.

“Bear?” She called as he was about to leave her room.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sure if you asked, my dad would take you to Iron Heights on Sunday.”

Barry nodded. “Okay. I’ll ask.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of Barry's POV in this chapter. It makes sense in the context.

Iris woke the next morning, to the smell of bacon drifting up from the kitchen. Hungry, she rolled out of bed, pulled on a sweatshirt and sauntered downstairs.

Her dad was cooking at the stove. “‘Morning,” he greeted her.

“‘Morning, Dad,” she replied, going to the cupboard to grab a glass. “How was work?”

“Oh…” Joe sighed. “You know.”

Iris nodded as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

“Did you talk to Barry?” He asked. 

Iris couldn’t meet her father’s eyes. “Sort of. He went to Iron Heights last night.”

Joe set the tongs he was using down and sighed. “He did, did he?”

Iris frowned. She knew her father didn’t believe Barry’s story about the Man in Yellow, but when she saw Henry, she didn’t see a killer. Barry’s story might not have made much sense, but her gut told her Henry was innocent. She wished her father could see that, too. 

“Yeah, but he didn’t get to see Henry. Apparently he’s in solitary until the end of today, for protection.”

Joe looked over at her in surprise, then shook his head. “That happens sometimes. It’s not a great solution, but it’s one of the tools available, so it gets used.”

Iris wondered briefly what it would be like to be entirely isolated for days on end. It sounded awful. “Dad, I think you should take him tomorrow.” 

Her father removed the bacon from the pan and placed it on a waiting plate. “Do you now?”

She held his gaze resolutely. 

The sound of footsteps on the stairs echoed up the hall, announcing that Barry was awake. 

“Morning,” he said as he ambled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and repeating Iris’ actions of helping himself to some orange juice. 

“Morning Barry,” Joe said as he cracked an egg into the pan. “Iris tells me you’d like to visit your father tomorrow.”

Barry looked up from his juice, suddenly wide awake. He nodded, looking back and forth between Joe and Iris with both hope and panic in his eyes.

She tried to give him an encouraging smile.

Joe paused dramatically while he cracked another egg. “I can take you at 1 o’clock.” 

Barry’s face broke into a relieved smile. “Really, Joe? That would be great.”

“Mhmm.” 

“Thank you,” Barry proclaimed, throwing his arms around Joe and squeezing. “Thank you.”

Joe shot a sideways glance at Iris, as if to say,  _ The things I do for you kids. _

She smiled.

 

At quarter to 1 on Sunday, Barry descended the stairs, ready to visit his father. 

“Absolutely not, Iris,” Joe was saying as he arrived in the living room.

“But Dad, I haven’t been in years.”

“What’s going on?” Barry asked.

Iris turned to him with determination in her eyes. “I want to come with you.”

“You do?” Barry wasn’t sure whether to feel supported or protective. It wasn’t like a visit to Iron Heights was the happiest of social calls. “Are you sure?”

“See, Iris. Barry doesn’t want you to go.” Joe tried to argue.

Anger flashed in Iris’ eyes.

_ Uh oh _ . 

He wasn’t going to be the cause of that. “I didn’t say that,” he protested. “It’s just…”

“Prison is no place for my teenage daughter,” Joe said authoritatively. 

Barry swallowed. He couldn’t argue with that. Even he got weird glances from the other prisoners while talking to his dad -- like he was a piece of meat to be devoured. He didn’t want to imagine the kind of reception Iris might receive. 

“I just wanted to be there for you,” Iris muttered, almost inaudibly. 

Barry’s heartstrings thrummed. He wished he could wrap his arms around her, but he didn’t dare in front of Joe. “I appreciate that, Iris,” he said instead. He meant it.

Joe surveyed the two of them then turned to Barry. “We’d better go.”

Barry nodded and headed for the door. 

Iris resolutely grabbed her jacket and followed them out the door. 

“ _ Iris, _ ” Joe warned.

“I’ll stay in the waiting room, but I’m coming.” She said. 

Joe frowned. There was worry in his eyes, but also relent.

Barry watched the exchange nervously. He hated being the source of tension between the two of them. He never wanted to be a burden, but somehow he often ended up feeling like one.

“Get in the car,” Joe said in resignation. 

Iris’ face flickered with a triumphant smile as she grabbed the door to the backseat and hopped in. Barry took the front as Joe started the car. 

They rode in silence until the intimidating outline of the maximum security prison came into view. It’s very appearance gave Barry a knot in his stomach: the towering fences, the militaristic police presence, the multiple security gates one had to drive through to get to the visitor’s parking. 

Joe’s police badge helped to simplify the arrival process, as did the fact that most of the staff knew Barry well enough by now. They gave him sympathetic looks, like they felt sorry for the boy who was convinced his father didn’t kill his mother, like one day he was going to realize the horror of it all and become disillusioned with the world. 

Barry held some satisfaction knowing that would never happen. His father didn’t kill his mother. The Man in Yellow did.

He routinely emptied his pockets at security, and walked through the metal detector unphased, then turned to wait for Iris and Joe. He noticed that Iris seemed uncertain, and it occurred to him how normalized this whole process had become. Seeing Iris’ apprehensive look reminded him that none of this was normal. 

He wondered if it would have been better if she stayed at home.

A guard escorted them to a sterile seating area, with a window into the visitation room. Iris took the seat beside him. Tentatively, she rested her hand at her side and touched her fingers to his.

His skin warmed at the contact, and he felt reassured, knowing that she wanted to hold his hand as much as he wanted to hold hers. 

They waited in silence for a few minutes until another guard called, “Barry Allen.”

He hopped to his feet, glancing back at Iris and Joe before following the officer into the visitation area.

He took a seat at a booth and watched as his father was escorted to the opposite side.

Henry looked a little more grizzled than the last time Barry had seen him, but he smiled no less brightly at the sight of his son. 

Barry smiled back, tears already threatening to escape his eyes. He fumbled with the phone as he held it to his ear. “Dad,” he breathed into the receiver.

“Son,” Henry smiled.

“Are you okay? I tried to come on Friday. They said you were in solitary.”

Henry’s face faltered briefly, but he quickly regained his composure. “I’m fine, Barry. Don’t worry about me. I’m all right.”

Barry wasn’t sure he could stop worrying about his dad, but he also didn’t want to let him down so he nodded.

“Tell me all about you,” his dad urged. “How are the college applications going?”

Barry gave a pained smile as he spoke. “They’re good. I’m applying to CCU, Starling City and Met U.”

“Those are all good schools,” Henry said. “Especially Metropolis. You know that’s where your mother and I met.”

Barry nodded. “Yeah, I remember. I’m starting to think I want to go to CCU, though.”

Henry studied his son. “Bear. You know you can leave this city if you want to. You don’t have to stay here on my account. You need to live your life.”

“I know,” Barry replied. “It’s not just that though. There’s a program I’m interested in and…” His voice faltered. 

He’d been wanting to talk to his dad about what was going on with him and Iris, but now that he was here, it seemed silly. His dad was serving a life sentence for a murder he didn’t commit and Barry wanted to talk about his high school love life. Even in his head it sounded ridiculous.

“What is it, Slugger?” His father prodded. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Barry searched for words unsuccessfully, opening and closing his mouth in futility. 

“Is that Iris?” Henry asked, his eyes gazing past Barry’s shoulders and into the waiting room. Barry turned and caught her eye through the window. The edges of her lips tilted up into a reassuring smile. 

“Yeah. She wanted to come today.”

Henry nodded thoughtfully. “She’s grown up since I saw her last.”

Barry couldn’t help but blush. “Yeah, she has.”

“Everything good with you two?”

Barry’s shoulders rounded self-protectively into the booth. He didn’t want anyone to overhear. How could he say this? “Yeah, they are.”

Henry watched him expectantly but didn’t push. 

“Actually, they’re kind of weird,” Barry confessed.

Henry nodded, like he wasn’t surprised. 

“We’ve been -- um -- kissing... a lot… lately.”

Henry’s face lit up in happy surprise, like he was getting ready to wish Barry  _ mazel tov _ . Instead he asked, “Does Joe know?”

Barry shook his head in panic, his eyes fluttering in a silent plea that his father would keep his secret. 

Henry nodded, wiping his face of any tell-tale emotion. “You know you have to abide by his rules.”

“I know. I’m trying.”

“And you should always be safe.” 

At this, Barry laughed. “Dad -- it’s not like that.”

Henry gave him a knowing look. “Remember, I used to be a practising physician.”

Barry blushed and fiddled with the cord on the receiver. 

“Do you love her?” 

“More than anything,” Barry admitted desperately, tears stinging his eyes.

“Does she know that?”

He shook his head.

“Why not?”

Barry shrugged. “I don’t know how she feels. I don’t even think she knows. Everything is so amazing right now. What if I tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way? What if I lose her?”

Henry inhaled and exhaled slowly. “It’s always a risk, telling someone how you feel. But what if she  _ does _ feel the same way about you? She’s not kissing you because she hates your guts.”

Barry laughed through his tears, wiping his cheeks and nodding. 

“Only you will know when the time is right,” Henry advised. “But you have to respect yourself. And you have to respect her. And that means being honest with one another.”

Barry nodded furiously. “I know.”

“ _ Time. _ ” Called the guard, as he approached Henry’s side.

_ No _ , Barry wanted to shout. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye. The tears were coming hot and fast now. He couldn’t stop them.

“Dad,” Barry said in futility. 

“Write me a letter,” Henry said calmly. “And look for one from me.”

“I will,” Barry promised. 

He watched helplessly as his father was taken away. It was a familiar sight, but one that he would never get used to.

He wiped his eyes as he was ushered back into the waiting room. 

Iris launched out of her seat and threw her arms around him.

He looked hesitantly over her shoulder at Joe, who didn’t seem to mind. “C’mon you two. Let’s go home.”

Iris held his elbow as they returned to the security check-in to pick up their belongings. 

As they followed Joe back to the car, she whispered, “You’re the strongest person I know.”

He smiled faintly, and patted her hand, before opening the front side passenger door for her. 

The ride home was as quiet as the ride there. Barry sat behind Iris and leaned his head against the window, tears still streaming down his face. She was watching him through the rear-view mirror. He wished she wouldn’t. 

He tried to hide his emotions, but then her hand poked through the small opening between the seat and the door, her fingers outstretched, seeking him out. 

He looked over at Joe, whose eyes were focused solemnly on the road. Deciding it was safe, he leaned his head forward against the back of the seat and put his hand in hers. It was comforting to touch her.

When they arrived home, Barry announced, “I’ll be in my room,” then went upstairs and closed the door. He pressed his back into it, and let his head thud against the wood as he slid down to the floor.

He knew his father was right. He should tell Iris. But he wasn’t ready. 

He thought about how it had all started those few weeks ago, downstairs on the couch. How he wasn’t really sure whether it had been him or her that had started it, but that somehow their lips ended up pressed together. 

It was a fantasy come to life for him. How many times had he dreamed about them joking around, tickling each other, only to end up making out? 

Sometimes, he fantasized about more. 

His dad was right about all of it. He’d lied right through his teeth when he said it wasn’t like that. 

Lately, he couldn’t help himself. Whenever his mind wandered, all he could think about was getting her alone, taking off all her clothes, peeling her underwear from her legs and sinking into her centre with his mouth. 

He blushed as he thought of it, even now. He’d never done anything like that before, but man, did he ever want to with Iris.

He wanted to do so much more. He wanted to be inside of her, telling her that he loved her. 

He did love her. He loved her so much it made his stomach hurt. 

He couldn’t lose her. Not now. 


	8. Chapter 8

The thing about agreeing to kiss on more than just Friday nights was that alone time suddenly became scarce. Whenever Barry and Iris were home, so too was Joe. The more scarce alone time became, the more intense the anticipation between them grew. Then came the news that they might lose Friday night all together.

“I have some bad news and some good news,” Joe announced during Tuesday night dinner.

Barry and Iris exchanged glances across the table.

“The bad news is related to the case I’ve been working on. The intel we were working from didn’t pan out the way we hoped. The good news is, I won’t have to work the next few Friday nights.”

Barry’s face was visibly stricken. So much so, that Joe began studying him with interest.

Iris quickly picked up the slack and pulled her face into a bright smile. “Does this mean we can  _ finally _ go out on a Friday night?” She asked, trying her best to sound like a normal teenager.

Barry flashed her a pained look.

She wanted to shake her head at him, to tell him to get a hold of himself, but there was no way she could get that message across without her dad noticing.

Joe breathed deeply. “Yes, you can go out. But I want to know where you’re going and what you’ll be doing. And I want you home by midnight.”

Iris did her best to give a happy giggle. “This is great!”

Barry was trying to smile. “Yeah... great. Thanks, Joe.”

Iris was pretty sure it wasn’t lost on her father that Barry’s last comment sounded utterly sarcastic.

 

“Aren’t you … sad?” Barry asked, slumping against his locker when they arrived at school the next day.

Iris was rummaging in her own locker, unpacking her homework and repacking her first-period binder. “Of course I am, Bear. But what are we supposed to do?”

For this, Barry had no response. He fiddled mindlessly with the straps on his backpack as she zipped hers closed. He looked like his mind was racing. “You don’t think he knows, do you?”

Iris gave him a doubtful look.

“What if that’s the real reason why he’s not working Fridays anymore?”

“Bear, you’re over thinking things.”

“Do you think we should tell him?”

It wasn’t like the could very well  _ tell _ , Joe. Could they? But then, what would they say? That sometimes they liked to kiss and take off their clothes and make each other come?

“Barry, I don’t --”

“Hey Barry,” interrupted a cheerful voice behind them.

Iris turned to see where it came from.

“Hey, Becky,” Barry replied apathetically.

“Oh, hi Iris,” Becky acknowledged. It wasn’t a cold greeting, but it wasn’t exactly warm either.

“Hi Becky,” Iris replied, fighting the impulse to roll her eyes.

There was nothing necessarily wrong with Becky Cooper. She was cute and blonde and smart. Her parents were extraordinarily wealthy and lived on the poshest side of the Allens’ old neighbourhood. Her parents even used to be friends with the Allens.

Becky carried a certain curiosity for Barry. Iris didn’t trust it. It was like Becky just wanted to find out what really happened to Barry’s family, and thought that flirtation was the best way to get to the root of it. Perhaps this was why whenever Becky talked to Barry a little bit of vomit rose to the back of Iris’ throat.

“My parents are going out of town this weekend,” Becky announced, speaking mostly to Barry. “I’m having a party on Friday night. You guys should come.”

Barry looked at Iris as if waiting for her approval.

Iris might not have trusted Becky very much, but perhaps a party was just what they needed. They had to get out of the house and out of their little bubble. The only other option she could envision was an awkward movie night with her dad. A party was definitely more appealing.

“That sounds great Becky,” Iris replied. “We’ll have to ask my dad, but I think he’ll let us go.”

Becky grinned happily, “Great. Hope to see you then.”

Barry watched her disappear down the hall, a puzzled look on his face.

“She likes you,” Iris said somewhat sadly.

“Does she?” Barry asked as if this was complete news to him.

Iris rolled her eyes. “You know she does.”

He shrugged. “And… what do you think about that?” His eyes were wide as he implored her for an answer.

Iris opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the sound of the warning bell.

“C’mon,” she said as she closed her locker. “We’re going to be late for History.”

 

On Friday night, Joe agreed to drop them off at Becky’s house. It was no coincidence that he also happened to bring home a police cruiser and opted to use it as their mode of transport. It was a warning shot over the bow to the gaggle of suddenly nervous-looking teenagers who were already crowding Becky’s enormous front porch.  

Iris could hardly believe the size of the place. It seemed like something out of a movie.

“Call me if you want to come home early,” Joe said as he put the car in park. “Otherwise I’ll be here at midnight to pick you up.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Iris said, leaning over to give her father a kiss.

“Look out for each other,” he said after them, as they hopped out of the car.

“We will,” Iris replied before closing the door.

They crossed the immense lawn leading up to the front door, Barry dragging slightly behind.

Iris looked over her shoulder. “Come on Barry, it’ll be fun. I promise.”

He nodded with uncertainty as they approached Becky and a few of her friends who were all eyeing them curiously.

“I see you arrived in style,” she grinned flirtatiously at Barry.

“My dad can be… a little overprotective sometimes,” Iris interjected.

“Least he’s around enough to be overprotective,” Becky replied casually, smiling as if it was a joke.

Iris was taken aback. She knew Becky’s parents often travelled for business. It didn’t occur to her that the poor little rich girl might feel neglected.

“Heads up that he’s coming back to pick us up at midnight,” Iris warned. “And for sure it’s going to be with the cruiser.”

“Thanks,” Becky nodded. “There’s beer in the kitchen if you guys want some.” She opened the front door to let them in.

The house was already filling up with their classmates, and some faces that Iris didn’t recognize. She figured they must go to other schools nearby. A few bros were tapping a keg in the kitchen and filling up red solo cups. They passed them around generously, yelling and laughing.

Iris grabbed two cups as they passed, and handed one to Barry. He eyed her in surprise.

“Live a little,” she teased him.

“I know how to live,” he said resolutely, taking a deliberate swig from the cup as if to prove it.

“Oh really?” She smiled. “Do you have a secret life you’ve been hiding from me?”

The tips of his ears went red.

“Hey! Barry!” Someone called across the room.

Barry turned to see his friend Carlos from Chemistry class. “Hey man, how’s it going?”

Iris took the opportunity to make herself scarce. If she stuck too closely to his side, he wouldn’t socialize.

She chatted casually with friends from class, never hanging in a conversation too long, always keeping Barry in view. As the night wore on, they exchanged glances from across various rooms, sometimes with a smile, sometimes with a lingering heat that sent a shiver down her spine.

That’s why when Iris was finished talking to Jessica from her English class she was surprised to find that Barry had disappeared.

She craned her neck, looking for him. Not seeing him, she wandered from room to room trying to find him again. She was about to give up when she passed a set of stairs leading down to the basement. She caught a glimpse of a familiar black chuck disappearing around the bottom of the stairs, and decided to pursue it.

As she descended the steps, a silvery voice came into earshot.

“My parents have this amazing wine cellar,” Becky was saying. “But don’t tell anyone upstairs. I’d be disowned if anyone ever got into it.”

Iris hung back a little, watching curiously as Becky led Barry through the immense basement to an innocuous looking door on the other side. She paused to unlock it with a key from her pocket and switched on the light as they entered.

“Whoa,” Barry said as he caught sight of what was on the other side of the door.

Iris couldn’t see for herself, but she crept closer being careful not to reveal her presence.

“This house is … crazy,” Barry admitted.

Becky laughed. “Wait until you see the upstairs,” she said, her voice becoming a little muffled, and far too seductive for Iris’ liking. “You know Barry... I’ve always thought you were kind of cute.”

“Oh -- uh, Becky,” Barry stammered slightly. “I’m -- kind of seeing someone.”

Iris’ heart was suddenly pounding in her chest. On the one hand, she and Barry had never discussed exclusivity. Not that she wanted to see anyone else, but she’d certainly never prohibited him from doing what he wanted. On the other hand, something about the way Becky was coming on to him was making her blood hot, and not in a good way.

“Oh,” Becky replied in disappointment. “Who?”

Iris wasn’t entirely sure what came over her, but she found herself stumbling through the door, swaying in an exaggerated way like she’d had too much to drink.

“Barry!” She cried happily. “There you are!”

It wasn’t a moment too soon. Becky had her arms around his neck as if she was getting ready to make a move.

Barry took a step back, his cheeks turning pink in embarrassment as Becky let go of him. “Hey, Iris,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel --  _ great _ ,” she dramatized, slurring a little and stumbling closer to them. “ _ Great  _ party, Becky. The keg is…  _ awesome _ .”

Becky eyed her up and down, seeming to realize that she’d stumbled into something more complicated than she was expecting. “Glad you’re enjoying yourself,” she said somewhat coldly as she stepped away.

“Thanks for inviting us,” Iris said, stepping closer to Barry and leaning her head on his shoulder as she grinned.

Becky nodded and headed for the door to the cellar. “The door locks behind you. Close it when you’re finished, would you?”

“Oh don’t worry, we won’t be long,” Iris singsonged as their hostess left them.

“Iris,” Barry said in a low voice. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing, what are you doing?” She replied, straightening up and dropping the act.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t know she just asked if I wanted a tour of the house…”

Iris gave Barry a knowing look. “Really, Barry? A tour of the house?”

“What?”

“That’s code for let me take you to my room and undress you.”

His face turned beet red. “I didn’t reali--”

Iris laughed. “You’re hopeless.”

He smirked a little and put his hands around her waist. “But you kind of like that about me, don’t you?” He drew her in and nuzzled her cheek with his nose. The seemingly slight caress was intoxicating.

She nodded into his shoulder as he pulled her closer.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

Iris sighed. The now familiar warmth between her legs was returning. “I missed you, too.”

He continued to nuzzle her with his nose until she tilted her head in just the right way that he could kiss her.

Their lips clamped together in heat, undeterred by the slightly sour taste of beer on their tongues.

Iris found herself reversing towards the wall. She pulled Barry by the belt-loops along with her and he responded, pressing his body into her, pinning her against the cool cement. They were careful not to disturb the fragile shelves of expensive wine on either side of them as he embraced her.

“I want to be with you again,” Iris found herself saying in a breathless pant.

Barry nodded as he kissed her. “I want that, too.”

“But not here.”

He paused, nodded, then took a step back.

“What are we doing here, Iris?” He asked looking around the wine cellar.

“Well you followed Becky Cooper on a ‘tour of the house’ and I saved you from almost being seduced…”

Barry laughed. “No, I mean... people go to parties to meet people and hook up. I already have the person I want to hook up with.” He looked at her with earnestness and intensity in his eyes.

Iris swallowed.

They kept doing this. Having these conversations that threatened to make everything so complicated.

She looked at her watch. It was quarter to midnight. “My dad will be here soon.”

He seemed relieved to hear it. “K,” he replied, grabbing her hand. “C’mon.”

He led her from the cellar, across the basement and back up the stairs. Instinctively, they dropped each other’s hands as they reemerged into the party.

As soon as they did, a loud wolf-whistle cut through the chatter.

Time seemed to slow as a hush fell over the room. Everyone turned their eyes to see what the noise was about.

“Well if it isn’t scrawny little Allen.” The hulkish frame of Tony Woodward stepped into their path. “And what do we have here?”

Tony peered around Barry to Iris and licked his lips.

Barry went stiff, clenching his fists at his side. “Tony. What are you doing here? Did they let you out of juvie early?”

Tony laughed, looking back at a group of his brutish friends. “Well, you’d know all about jail, wouldn’t you Allen?”

“Tony,” Iris warned. “Leave him alone.”

“I must say --” Tony continued, looking Iris up and down. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“What are you talking about?” Barry asked, his teeth clenching.

“Kind of surprising to be screwing your step-sister. Then again, I can’t blame you. If I lived with a girl that hot I’d --”

Before Iris knew what was happening, Barry was drawing his fist back and throwing himself at Tony. The right hook connected with Tony’s jaw, and he dropped to the floor like a lead weight.

Like lightning, Barry was on top of the bully, landing punches. “Don’t you  _ ever _ talk to her like that,” he yelled.

With surprising speed, Tony regained his senses. He cranked back his own fist and let it fly.

“Barry!” Iris heard herself scream as she watched Tony’s knuckles collide with Barry’s mouth.

Barry reeled backwards, landing in a heap beside her.

Tony was back on his feet. “Looks like you were born to take a beating,” he taunted, stepping forward, ready to administer another blow.

Instinctively, Iris shielded Barry with her own body. Tony paused at the sight of her. There was fire in her eyes.

“Hmm,” Tony growled, surveying Iris. “Feisty. I like that.”

Iris braced, ready to put her boxing skills to good use.

“Yo, man! The cops!” A voice called across the living room.

Panic flitted across Tony’s eyes.

Outside a siren whooped.

Suddenly, there was pandemonium as a mob of scared teenagers split in every direction.

Tony retreated and darted through the sliding glass door out into the backyard, disappearing into the night along with his friends.

Iris crouched over Barry and held his face in her hands. “Are you all right?”

He sat up slowly, groaning and touching a tentative finger to his lip. “Think I’m going to need some ice.”

She nodded and pulled him up, putting his arm around her shoulder as she led them out of the front door.

Joe’s cop car was sitting on the street outside. The lights were flashing threateningly as gaggles of kids ran in opposite directions out into the night.

Beside the driver’s window stood Becky Cooper. It looked as though she’d been speaking with Joe.  

“What in the hell,” Joe blurted out as he caught sight of Barry’s face. He got out of the car and rushed around to meet his kids. “When you said a fight broke out, you didn’t say it was my son,” Joe said, turning back to Becky.

“I wasn’t sure who it was,” Becky said defensively.

So, she had sounded the alarm to Joe.

Iris gave her a thankful half smile, and Becky nodded in response.

“What happened?” Joe asked as he opened the front door for Barry.

Iris helped him into the car and responded, “Tony Woodward.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note that I don't love demonizing other female characters, so while Becky is an obstacle here, she's not meant to be the worst and that's a conscious choice.
> 
> More Iris x Barry time coming soon.


	9. Chapter 9

At home, Iris wrapped a couple of ice packs in towels. She gave one to Barry to put on his hand. The other she held to his mouth. He smarted at the contact, so she held him still with a hand at the back of his neck.

“So, which one of you is going to tell me the full story?” Joe asked. He was leaning against the door frame to the dining room, looking down on the two of them with concern.

Iris couldn’t tell from his posture whether he was in dad mode or cop mode.

Barry’s eyes flashed with anger. “Tony was being a jerk,” Barry mumbled beneath the ice pack.

“Barry was just defending my honor, Dad.” Iris added, looking over at her father.

“And what was it that Tony did to offend your honor?” Joe asked carefully, taking a seat at the table across from them.

Barry and Iris exchanged glances but didn’t answer.

“He said something not worth repeating,” Iris muttered.

Joe sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go to that party.”

“Dad, it’s okay,” Iris replied. “We’re fine.”

“Barry has a split lip,” Joe replied. “Not to mention his knuckles. That’s not exactly what I’d call fine.”

Barry squished his hand tighter under the ice pack, as if he was hoping it would make his injury go away.

“Who threw the first punch?”

Iris pulled the ice away from Barry’s face, anticipating his reply.

“I did.” He admitted.

“Bear,” Joe reprimanded.

“I _know_ , Joe,” Barry said. “But you weren’t there. You didn’t hear the way he was talking.”

Joe shook his head and scrubbed his face over his hands. “I wish that I could always be there to shield the two of you from the crap this world is going to throw at you. But I won’t be. So, I have to teach you how to handle yourself. You can’t be solving injustice with your fists. I taught you two to box for self defense. You throw the first punch, that’s assault.”

Barry sunk down into his chair. “I know.”

“Lucky for you, Tony probably won’t report because he already has a record and doesn’t need the trouble... Unlucky for you, you’re grounded until Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Dad -- ” Iris protested.

“Iris,” Barry shook his head “It’s okay.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t understand,” Joe continued, as he got up from the table. “Ain’t nobody allowed to talk trash about my daughter.” He placed a reassuring hand on Barry’s shoulder and squeezed. “She’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

The edges of Barry’s mouth curled up into a small smile, despite the situation.

“I love you both,” Joe said. “But don’t be giving me a heart attack like the one I had seeing Barry’s face coming down that lawn.”

They nodded regretfully.

“I’m going to bed. You two make sure you get some rest.”

Joe turned and climbed the stairs.

Iris pressed the ice pack back to Barry’s mouth and studied his injury closely. “Is it really painful?”

“I’ll be okay,” he replied.

She nodded.

“Hey Bear?” She whispered.

“Yeah?”

“When you told Becky you were seeing someone…”

His viridian eyes locked onto her in a way that made her melt. “What about it?”

“What did you mean?”

He shrugged. “Well… I didn’t think you’d like it very much if I was going around kissing other girls.”

Iris dropped the ice from his face. She wasn’t sure that was exactly the answer she was looking for. Then again, what was it that she was looking for?

“No -- yeah,” she said, shaking her head and shrugging her shoulders casually. “Of course.”

“Was I wrong?” He asked, reading her expression.

She gave a half smile, trying to hide whatever it was that she was feeling. “No. You weren’t. I mean, it’s probably for the best, you know, if we’re not kissing other people while we’re kissing each other.”

His lips thinned pensively and he nodded.

“I should get some rest,” she said, handing him the ice.

“K. Thanks for…” He laughed humorlessly as he lifted the ice packs in his hands.

“Of course.”

 

Barry being grounded certainly wasn’t the worst punishment in the world. Both of them were at a point where they would just prefer to stay home anyway. Still, it was another week and a half before the first real opportunity to be together presented itself.

In the meantime, a dangerous static electricity was building between them. It was getting harder and harder to keep their hands off one another, and the only way they could discharge that energy was in casual touches and fervid glances. It wasn’t enough.

What was more: Barry’s lip swelled horribly in the aftermath of the fight with Tony and every time Iris looked at it she just wanted to kiss it better. It meant that he was now inadvertently giving her these pouty looks every time he glanced at her. She settled for continuing to help him ice it. On more than one occasion, Joe walked in on this ritual, pausing each time in a way that made Iris nervous.

She chose to ignore it.

Finally, Barry started to heal. As the swelling dissipated so too did her overwhelming urge to suck his face better.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She was still waiting for the next opportunity to kiss him.

She was wondering when that would be while she sat at the dinner table the Tuesday before Thanksgiving weekend, unaware of how carelessly she was staring at him.

“Iris, stop staring at Barry,” Joe commented, seemingly uncomfortable with the situation.

She snapped herself out of her reverie. “Sorry. I -- I just wanted to see how his lip was healing.”

“It’s healing fine. You’re making him nervous,” responded Joe.

Iris surveyed her friend. He did look a little uncomfortable.

She averted her gaze and twirled her fork in her pasta.

“So, I invited Chyre and his wife for Thanksgiving dinner,” Joe told them. “Their kids are grown and living on the other side of the country. Thought they might like to join us. I might invite Lieutenant Singh and his boyfriend, Rob, as well.”

“That’s a nice idea, Dad,” Iris said enthusiastically.

She saw an opportunity in the occasion. Maybe she could talk to her father’s colleagues about her intentions to apply to the police academy. Maybe they would give her some advice. As she ate the remainder of her dinner she mused happily about what she might say.

When they were finished eating, Barry slinked quietly upstairs while Iris took to studying on the living room couch.

She was disciplined in her focus until she reached the end of the assignment. Then she allowed her mind to wander upstairs. She wondered what Barry was up to.

Her daydreams were disrupted as her father took a seat in the armchair across from her.

“Hey Dad,” she said, pretending to still be absorbed in her work.

When he didn’t respond right away, she looked up to find him rubbing his chin. “Is everything good with you and Barry?” He finally asked.

“Yeah, everything’s great. Why?” She didn’t let on that her heart was starting to race.

“Anything… you want to tell me?” He fixed her with a look that she knew he usually only reserved for detective work.

She stared back. In her head she could hear Barry recounting a nature documentary about the importance of eye contact in establishing dominance in the animal kingdom. She couldn’t blink. It was going to be her only way out of this. “Such as…?” She feigned innocence.

Just then, the sound of Joe’s work phone rang from the kitchen.

He sighed and got up. “To be continued,” he said as he walked away.

The racing in her heart subsided slightly, only to be replaced by a flutter of hope as she listened to his conversation. It sounded like he was getting called in.

“I have to go to work,” he confirmed as he reemerged. “I might be late. Don’t wait up.” It was the usual spiel.

“Okay. Be safe,” she replied, pretending to return to her assignment as he kissed her on the head.

The door closed and locked with a satisfying click.

She wasted no time, bounding off of the couch and up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Unannounced, she burst into Barry’s room.

He was sitting on his bed with his headphones on, engrossed by something on his laptop. He looked startled as she entered and slapped the laptop closed. “Iris,” he blurted out, taking the headphones off.

“My dad went out,” she said breathlessly, closing the door behind her. She hopped onto her hands and knees at the end of his bed. “He got called into work. Said not to wait up.”

“Did he?” He rubbed the back of his neck, like he was both excited and concerned. Thoughtfully, he touched a finger to his split lip. “It’s still healing,” he said.

“I’ll be gentle,” she teased, crawling forwards toward him.

“Um — I’m not sure I’m ready,” he replied, drawing away from her.

 _Wait —_   _what_? He was turning her down? After all this time? She thought they’d both been going out of their minds.

Maybe it had all just been in her head. Or maybe…

“Is this because of what Tony said?” She asked.

Barry shook his head. “No. _No_.”

“We’re not step-siblings.”

“I know.” He touched his hand to her face. “I just… wanted to be prepared.”

Iris still didn’t understand, but she said, “Okay. Well… do you want to watch a movie then? I mean actually watch one. I finished my homework so…”

She grabbed his laptop and swung it around, opening the lid without noticing the panicked look on Barry’s face, and his feeble attempt to stop her.

What she saw when she opened it shocked her.

At least it did when she realized what she was looking at.

It took her a moment to register.

A blonde man was nestled in between a pair of dark legs. A woman’s legs. His face was pressed right up against her while he licked her _there_.

Iris looked up at Barry, whose blood was visibly draining from his face.

They were silent as they looked at one another, both mortified.

Iris looked back at the display. It paused when he shut the laptop, but was playing now seemingly of its own volition. She wasn’t sure whether she was horrified or curious. “What’s this, Bear?” She asked quietly.

A pink flush returned to his cheeks as his gaze fell to the bedspread. He picked nervously at a loose thread. “Research,” he admitted softly.

Iris wanted to laugh. Of course it was. What a Barry thing to do. “Oh?”

He shifted uncomfortably. “I wanted... to be good at it. When the time came.”

Iris couldn’t help the growing smirk on her face. “So… you thought the time might be coming for this?”

He nodded as he continued picking at the thread. “It’s been … on my mind for a while now,” he said, not meeting her eyes.

The blood in her cheeks burned. She looked back at the screen and tried to process. Her heart thrummed rapidly at the realization that he’d been thinking about her in this way. She guessed she shouldn’t be surprised. He _had_ asked if they could try stuff that one time a while back.

It looked fun, even if the set up wasn’t really believable. The guy was a little bit gross and a little too rough.

“You know, this might not be the most authoritative source on how this works,” Iris commented, smiling in an attempt to cut the tension.

Barry shifted awkwardly. “I know. I had other sources. I did some reading, too.”

Iris raised her eyebrows in surprise. “What were you reading?” She asked curiously.

His cheeks were a deep shade of crimson now. He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Maybe I want to read,” she joked, turning her eyes back to the screen.

She was strangely captivated by it. They sat quietly, watching.

“Are you mad?” Barry asked cautiously. His eyes were wide and apologetic.

“I… don’t think so,” she said. She wasn’t entirely sure, but something about his choice of video seemed all right to her. It wasn’t lost on her that if she squinted really hard the girl sort of looked like her.  

“So, is this like, a kink of yours?” She ventured to ask, pointing to the girl.

The face he made in response was the most mortified she’d ever seen him. “It’s not like that,” he protested fiercely.

“What is it like, then?”

His eyes were boring into her with that same intensity that was becoming familiar. “Don’t you know?” He asked quietly, a tremor in his voice.

Her stomach twisted, the way it was wont to do whenever their conversations strayed into uncertain territory.

He reached for her hand. It felt like an intensely intimate gesture.

She changed her line of questioning. “So… you wanted to do more research before — ?” She asked, putting two and two together.

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

“ — Because I could be ready now,” she suggested.

“You could?” He asked hoarsely.

She nodded, biting her lip.

“Okay,” he replied, his hand trembling slightly against hers as he moved closer to her.

“Or maybe I should shower first,” Iris thought aloud, stepping up from his bed.

“Oh, okay.” He looked dejected at being told he’d have to wait just a little bit longer.

She turned towards the door, pausing as she reached it.

“Do you want to come, too?” She asked.

His head perked up like a meerkat. “Okay,” he agreed happily as he scrambled off of his bed and followed her to the washroom.

She closed and locked the door behind them.

They stood, looking nervously at each other, both laughing bashfully before Iris ducked around him and went to turn on the faucet. She stuck her hand under the water to test the temperature, then turned her head over her shoulder. “Ready?” She asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded enthusiastically.

She pulled her t-shirt over her head, then undid her belt.

Barry followed suit, beginning to undo the buttons on his shirt.

When she’d rid herself of her clothes, she helped him with his jeans. He was already hard, and she resisted the urge to wrap her hand around him and work him until he shook. She really did want to wash up before they got into it.

“I’ll just be a sec,” she said, motioning for him to get in.

He obeyed and disappeared behind the shower curtain as she took a moment to tie her hair up. When she was finished, she climbed over the side of the tub, and whispered a soft, “Hey.”

“Hey,” he replied in an equally soft voice, reaching out his hand and pulling her towards him.

They exchanged places, so that Iris could tilt her shoulders under the stream. She closed her eyes and let the warm water fall over her neck and relax her muscles.

When she opened them again, she took in the sight of Barry. Tiny streams were dripping down from his hair onto his face, finally beading on his chest. Iris wasn’t totally sure that they were going to make it out of the shower with him looking like that, but she _was_ going to try.

He held her hips carefully, watching her as the water ran down around her neck. Her nipples were hard from all of the anticipation, and she was aware that this was fascinating to him.

“Would you...?” Iris asked, reaching for the soap that she loved and offering it to him.

He took it happily as she turned around. He touched it to her shoulders, tracing the suds down over her back with the other hand and rubbing into a lather. He paused to knead at her neck, digging into a knot before continuing on. She hummed pleasantly, enjoying the massage.

Reaching her waist, he threaded his arms under hers and pulled her back against his body. He was firm and warm behind her as he brushed the soap over her stomach. He tentatively covered her breasts. Receiving no objection, he grasped needfully at her flesh under the guise of washing up, his hands roaming curiously over her, the pent-up heat between them simmering to a boil.

Afraid she might lose control entirely, Iris turned and gently took the soap from his hands, opting to wash her legs herself.

“Your turn,” she murmured, indicating with a finger that he should turn around.

He smiled wryly as he did so, bracing a hand against the shower wall as she returned the favour. She studied the pretty pattern of freckles on his back as she grazed the soap over his skin. She’d seen his back before, but there was a new intimacy in this setting. She felt she should savour it.

She pulled gently at his shoulder and he turned back towards her. He studied her face as she washed his chest. She avoided meeting his gaze. If she looked up at him, he would certainly kiss her. The only possible outcomes she could predict from that scenario all seemed to end with her pressed against the shower wall while they fumbled to connect, until finally he thrusted into her.

 _Not yet_ , said a little voice in her head. _Not here._

She swiped a teasing hand over his length, and pumped him twice, then announced “All finished,” as she set the soap down and rinsed under the water.

He groaned in protest, then laughed as she stepped aside and let him have the water.

She pulled the curtain back as Barry turned off the tap. She reached for their towels and handed one to him.

“Thanks,” he smiled as he took it, rubbing it over his hair then down his chest.

She smirked as she wrapped her own towel around her body.

For years, she realized, she’d been vaguely aware of Barry in the shower. Getting to share one with him was like a little glimpse into the parts of his life that were still secret from her. She wanted to be a part of those private moments, wanted to keep enjoying their secret little world.

“Back to your room?” She suggested, bending down to scoop up her clothes from the floor and throwing him a smile.

“Yeah,” he grinned.

They giggled as they crossed the hall, stumbling forward into Barry’s room where they carelessly dropped the clothes from their arms.

Iris backed towards the bed, beckoning him to follow.

He approached her with dark eyes and pressed his forehead against hers, placing his hands on her waist. He sucked in a deep, pensive breath, then reached up to where her towel was folded just above her breasts. He pulled the two ends of the cloth apart and it dropped in a heap at their feet.

Barry made a strangled sound in the back of his throat. He’d been waiting for this for a long time.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cupping her jaw and kissing her warmly.

Iris cherished these moments, when it was just the two of them. He made her feel comfortable and at ease despite being so exposed. She felt safe and treasured. This was how it was supposed to be, she felt, between two partners. Would there ever be anything better than this, she wondered.

_How could there be?_

He was nibbling at her neck now, then slowly trailing kisses down the centre of her torso. She squirmed in anticipation as he took his time, approaching his destination at an agonizingly slow pace.

 _Hurry up already_ , she wanted to say.

He paused as he knelt on the floor between her legs, his towel slipping off of him as he did. “Are you sure?” He asked, his voice coming out in a seductive rasp.

Iris nodded, biting her lip. She might have been a little nervous, but the heat between her legs was positively throbbing. She couldn’t wait any longer.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to.

His hands trailed firmly up the inside of her legs, pausing as he applied gentle pressure with his thumbs at the junction of her thighs. He bent his head to meet her.

Iris lay back against the mattress and closed her eyes while Barry kissed her where she was aching for him. The warm, gentle pressure of his lips and the heat of his tongue was a balm for her rushing blood. With his thumbs he grazed her folds, pulling them gently apart so that he could stroke her clit with his tongue.

Iris silently thanked God for Barry’s scientific mind. Whatever he’d been ‘researching’ … it was sure working in her favour.

She threaded her hands through his hair and moaned quietly as he stroked a particularly sensitive spot. He replied with a murmur, happy to be pleasuring her.

She’d thought about this from time to time, but she worried that he’d hate it. Now that they were doing it, it was undeniable that he was enjoying it, too. He groaned and hummed just as much as she did. He held her as he made her squirm, eventually locking his mouth onto her and sucking like he would never let her go.

On and on he went at a steady pace, slowly lapping at her in a constant and unchanging rhythm, increasing his pressure when she gave a particular kind of moan, sinking ever deeper into her as he drove her higher.

“Barry,” she whimpered. “Oh my God…”

“Mhmm,” he gave a satisfied reply.

Somehow, he discovered and latched onto a goldmine of nerves. If the curling in Iris’ toes was any indication, this was going to be the spot that drove her over the edge. It was that same feeling of lightness that she’d discovered with him during their escapade on the couch.

He worked her relentlessly. Unconsciously, she pulled at his hair as her body began to seize. His head lifted a little, which caused Iris to beg, “Don’t stop… please.”

He obliged with added pressure, determined now to make her crest.

Her body was burning, her mind levitating. All she could focus on was the sweet wet heat of where they were connected until finally her blood and muscles were contracting forcefully. Exhilarating waves were washing over her nerves. She cried out as her toes clenched in a tight curl and her body shook.

She laughed, panting, holding her muscles where they’d contracted, until they could seize no further and she relaxed.

Barry pulled away from her. He was smiling, but his eyes were dark. He climbed over her, kissing up her stomach, to her breasts, her neck, then her mouth, where she tasted the lingering scent of herself.

“That was… amazing,” she breathed.

“Yeah,” he panted in her ear, as he friskily bucked his pelvis against the inside of her hip. He was rock hard. “I’m really close,” he confessed gravelly as he rubbed himself against the skin of her abdomen.

She responded with a hand to his length, tugging him only a few times before he was shaking, groaning noisily and spilling onto her stomach.

His eyes looked up apologetically at her.

Iris giggled. “Barry Allen, that was so hot.”

He blinked bashfully. “I — I couldn’t wait.”

She laughed. “I know. Think we’re going to need another shower.”

He nodded, then leaned forward over her to place a sweet kiss on her mouth. “I’ll be right back,” he said, disappearing out of his room for a minute, and returning with a hot washcloth.

Tenderly, he touched it to her stomach, wiping away the remnants of their activities.

He threw the cloth into his laundry bin, and lay down over her, kissing her, and holding her close.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly against her.

“Bear?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever think about… going all the way?” She asked hesitantly.

He shifted off of her, turning on his side and propping his head up with his hand. With the other, he stroked the skin of her hip while he studied her with his big green eyes. “Yeah,” he confessed. “I do.”

Iris nodded. “Is that… something you would want to do… with me?”

She could have sworn he was batting his eyelashes. He nodded silently, then planted a warm kiss on her lips.

“Maybe next time?” She suggested.

“Okay,” he breathed, his hand trembling against her skin.

She stared at the ceiling. If she was going to do it, it might as well be with Barry. At least then she’d know that her first time was special.

“I should probably go on birth control,” she thought aloud.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“And maybe you could get…”

He nodded. “I will.”

They cuddled sweetly, enjoying warmth and comfort of one another, savouring the alone time that had been so rare.

“Iris?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you want to?”

She hadn’t really considered why. “It just feels… right,” she said.

He nodded and kissed her shoulder, then nuzzled into her neck.

They held each other tenderly, musing silently over their plans, both wondering what it would be like.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I treated the variety of situations in this chapter delicately.
> 
> I'm really excited to share the next couple of chapters. Stay tuned :)


	10. Chapter 10

The next day was early dismissal at school. Even though they arrived home just after lunch, it didn’t feel like a holiday just yet. They’d made an agreement with Joe to spend the rest of the day marathoning the last parts of their college applications. The hope was to finish before the long weekend really got started and get the drop on the looming deadlines.

As promised, they set up camp at the dining room table, laptops and notebooks in hand, working on personal essays and making sure all of their information was entered.

Iris was silently thankful she and Barry were able to relieve the tension between them the night before. She wasn’t sure she would have been able to focus if they hadn’t.

Joe helped them through it where he could. It had been a while since he’d applied to college, and the application process wasn’t online back then.

Barry asked Joe to read over his essay for the forensic sciences program at CCU. It seemed like he had been working on it for months, always sneaking in a few words during quiet moments, when he thought people wouldn’t notice. He wouldn’t let Iris read it, but she observed that Joe didn’t make it all the way through before he lost it in tears.

“They’d be stupid not to let you in, Bear,” Joe said as he returned Barry’s laptop.

Barry smiled and nodded, blinking away the moisture that appeared in his own eyes, then got to work submitting it.

Throughout the whole process Iris had a knot in her throat.

She was excited about college, she really was. Still, the idea of being separated from her dad and Barry was weighing on her in a way she could no longer ignore.

It was almost 1 a.m. by the time they’d finished.

Joe had been puttering in the kitchen for a while, and it wasn’t until the last few minutes when the aroma of freshly baked brownies started wafting into the dining room that either of them had any idea what he was up to.

“Oh my God,” Iris proclaimed, as her father brought in the still-piping hot pan and set it down on the table. “You didn’t.”

“I did,” Joe smiled. “And there’s mint-chocolate chip, too.”

“Shut up!”

Joe threw her a cautionary look.

“I mean -- thanks, Dad,” she covered quickly.

Barry chuckled at Iris’ enthusiasm and started cutting into the brownies to serve them.

“Cut me a big one. I deserve it after all of that,” she laughed.

“You both deserve it,” Joe said as he returned with the ice cream. “I’m proud of you two. You’ve worked hard. You’re good kids.”

Iris’ eyes welled a little. “Aw, Dad. You’re going to make me cry,” she said as she went over to give him a hug.

They ate their brownies and ice cream, laughing and giggling to the point of crying, emotional from the combination of sugar and relief.

 

The doorbell rang at six o’clock on Thanksgiving Day. Iris swung the door open wide to find her dad’s partner Chyre and his wife on the other side. “Hi Chyre,” she greeted. “Mrs. Chyre. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving, Iris,” Chyre greeted her as she welcomed them inside.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Iris,” his wife repeated. “But please, call me Mary.”

Mary was a small woman with delicate bone structure and a short blonde bob. Iris met her once or twice before at the annual CCPD barbeque and softball game, but didn’t know her very well. It was hard to tell how much Mary might have known about their family. Did her dad talk with Chyre about his home life very much? If he did, was that information relayed to Chyre’s wife?

“Sure, Mary,” Iris acquiesced. “Can I take your coats?”

Barry was helping Joe with the turkey in the kitchen. Iris was kind of avoiding the whole situation. Cooking wasn’t her favourite. She’d much rather socialize with their guests.

Joe emerged just as the doorbell rang a second time and Lieutenant Singh and Rob arrived. After a flurry of greetings, Iris graciously accepted the bowls of salad, bottles of wine and pies she was handed. She placed them around the dining room table as everyone filtered into the living room.

Barry came out of the kitchen just as she was finding a place on the buffet for the pies. He was carrying a huge turkey, his thin arms looking like they might break under the weight of the bird. Undiscouraged by this, his face was plastered with an enormous grin that announced he was proud of their culinary work.

“Looks great, Bear,” Iris commented, walking over to him and gently patting the small of his back. Her stomach growled loudly in response to the aroma and they both laughed.

“Everyone, you remember Barry?” Joe asked, taking Barry around to greet each guest.

Barry smiled affably and shook hands.

“Barry and Iris just finished their college applications last night,” Joe announced proudly. “So, this is a special celebration.”

“Oh that’s wonderful,” Mary lauded.

“Best of luck to you both,” Chyre chimed.

“That reminds me,” Joe thought aloud, before once again disappearing into the kitchen.

“What are you hoping to major in?” Lieutenant Singh asked the two teenagers.

“Physics and chemistry, with the intention of doing forensic science,” Barry replied.

Lieutenant Singh nodded, clearly impressed. “And you, Iris?”

Iris felt nervous. This was her chance to ask him questions, but she was freezing. “I think I’ll be undeclared in my first year. But I’d like to be a detective, like my dad,” She managed to get out.

Rob laughed. “Well, David, looks like you have the future of the force right here. Call him when he’s captain, maybe he can offer you a job.”

“Now, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The Captain is still years away from retirement and there will be lots of competition for his job when it comes time.”

“Dad always speaks very highly of you,” Iris voiced an attempt at flattery.

“See,” Rob encouraged, “You’ve got lots of support.”

Joe reentered the dining room carrying a huge punch bowl. “This,” he said as he set it down, “Is my Grandma Esther’s cranberry punch. I’ll warn you now, it’s mostly bourbon.”

The guests laughed as Joe ladled the punch into cups and passed them around.

Iris giggled at the squinted faces that followed their first sips.

“My God,” Chyre exclaimed as he gasped for air. “Joe, your grandmother was an alcoholic.”

Joe gave a mock-stern response. “How many times do I have to tell you Chyre, don’t be insulting a man’s grandma.”

They all laughed.

“Barry, Iris, c’mere,” Joe said, beckoning them towards the punch bowl.

They approached cautiously. To their surprise, Joe doled out two more glasses and handed them one each.

“Dad -- are you sure?” Iris asked as she hesitantly took the glass and looked at her father’s superior officer.

“It’s legal,” he defended. “When supplied by and consumed in the presence of a parent or guardian in a private residence, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He handed a second glass to Barry who took it, despite the stunned look on his face. “One glass only though,” Joe cautioned.

They nodded.

“I’m proud of you,” Joe explained. “You two have worked hard in school, and you have your whole futures ahead of you. So, cheers to that.”

“Cheers,” said Iris.

“Cheers,” Barry echoed as they clinked their glasses together.

Iris took a sip, and choked immediately. “Oh my God,” she exclaimed through the burning in her throat.

Her dad laughed wholeheartedly.

“I don’t think I could drink more than one glass of this if I tried,” Barry croaked, similarly recovering.

“Good boy,” Joe praised, slapping him on the shoulder. “Well, I think we’re all set. Let’s eat!”

Joe took his spot at the head of the table and got ready to carve the bird, as everyone found a seat at the table. Iris opted to sit beside Barry, smiling sideways at him as she took a seat.

The conversation was lighthearted as they dug into their main course. Joe, Chyre and Singh laughed about the reports written by a new cadet named Dibny, who apparently couldn't spell to save his life. As a result, a series of “misdemeanors” took on a whole new life as a scourge of crimes committed by “Miss Demeaners”.  

Iris suspected these moments were few and far between, given how tired her dad usually was, but it was nice to see him laughing a little about the occasional office joke.

She and Barry listened intently and quietly, nudging each other occasionally to pass the mashed potatoes or the gravy.

Soon they were clearing away the plates from their main course and Joe was slicing up pumpkin pie for everyone. Each piece was finished with a generous dollop of whipped cream.

“So, Barry, Iris,” Mary began as they tasted their first few bites of dessert. “How long have you two been dating?”

The table fell quiet.

Joe paused and looked over at them.

So, Mary didn’t know much about their family.

“Oh,” Iris said in surprise. “We’re not dating,” she laughed.

Barry blinked bashfully, suddenly very interested in making sure that his whip cream was spread evenly over the top of his pie.

As much as Iris adored his alabaster skin, she wished in that moment that he could be a little less translucent. His cheeks were turning the same shade as the cranberry sauce.

“They’re best friends,” Joe replied. “Isn’t that right, Bear?”

Barry looked up from his food, “Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Iris and I -- we’ve known each other forever.”

“Barry lives here,” Iris piped up.

“Oh!” Mary exclaimed in embarrassment. “Forgive me, you just seemed so comfortable with one another -- I thought -- well that explains it, doesn’t it?”

Iris laughed nervously. “Oh yeah, we get that all the time.”

“You do?” Joe asked, curiously.

She shifted in her seat. “Um, sometimes. At school… if people don’t know us well.”

Joe hummed thoughtfully and studied them both. “People like… Tony Woodward?”

Barry looked like he wanted to sink down under the table and disappear forever. Iris couldn’t blame him.

She gave her dad an urgent look, hoping he would drop it, while Barry cut into his pie with his fork. He bravely took a few bites while the conversation turned to more casual topics.

Iris noticed that Mary was studying Barry curiously. It was a look she’d seen on many faces over the years: someone wondering how Barry came to live with her and Joe. Barry knew that look, too, and as the minutes passed, Iris sensed his growing desire to escape.

“May I be excused?” Barry asked Joe in a voice so soft only Iris heard it.

Joe scanned him, then nodded.

Barry slipped sideways out of his seat and silently slinked up the stairs.

“Can I go, too, Dad?” Iris asked.

Joe glanced around the table. His guests were absorbed in their own conversations. He nodded slightly, and Iris took the opportunity to disappear up the stairs after Barry.

She found him lying on his bed, his back to the door.

“Bear?” She said softly, closing the door behind her. She lay down beside him, spooning him as she wrapped an arm around his waist. “You okay?”

He breathed deeply. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

He didn’t answer.

She waited, hoping he would speak.

The sound of merry conversation and the occasional laughter drifted up from downstairs. She held him tightly, willing him to be alright.

“Iris… do you ever wonder if we’d still be best friends if my mom hadn’t been murdered?” He asked suddenly.

Iris was surprised. It wasn’t quite what she’d been expecting. “Oh. I -- don’t know, Bear. I hadn’t thought about it.”

Barry turned around to face her. They lay, huddled close, their faces inches apart.

“I think about it all the time,” he whispered sadly. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face as he spoke. “What life would have been like, I mean.”

Iris nodded. How could he not? She had the luxury of forgetting Barry’s circumstances. In the day to day, when it was just the two of them having fun, she never thought of him as the victim of domestic violence. But then, did she ever forget how her own mother was gone? Never.

“I think we would have been,” she said decidedly. “I mean, we were such good friends before. How could we not be best friends?” She smiled, trying to cheer him up.

He nodded thoughtfully, then propped himself up on an elbow.

He fidgeted with his thumbs, like he wanted to say something.

“Do you think… do you think we would have been something more?” He asked. His voice was so soft, so vulnerable. Something about it was breaking Iris’ heart.

She had no words. All she could do was search his orb-like eyes.

A strand of his hair fell onto his forehead as he leaned over her. She reached up to stroke it back into place.

His eyes flitted down to her lips.

Her cheeks warmed.

She shifted under him.

Maybe it was the bourbon in the punch, or maybe it was the tryptophan in the turkey, but everything took on a hazy, rosy hue. Then, for whatever reason, Iris no longer cared that her father was downstairs.

She wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him down into her, kissing him with more meaning than she’d ever allowed herself to do before.

He melted into her, wrapping an arm around her as he covered her with his torso.

They played a sweet game of catch and release with their tongues and lips.

Iris’ whole body was warm and tingling. She never wanted to surface. It reminded her of the first time they’d made out in his room. They were content to keep kissing. It was slow and tender, not urgent.

There was something welling in her chest -- a sentiment that she wanted to share, but she wasn’t sure what. Uncertain, she pulled him closer.

He obliged, shifting his body entirely over hers, threading their legs together.

His thigh connected with her centre. The contact flipped a switch between them.

Iris rushed to find the hem of his sweater and slipped her hand under it, placing her palm flat against his heated skin and stroking.

His trembling hands replied, finding the edge of her shirt and tracing up over her bare rib cage until he reached her bra. His fingers curled over the soft cup and pulled it down so that he could access her nipple. She hummed and bucked her hips against him as he rubbed the nub back and forth.

Blood rushed furiously through their veins. From their hearts to their groins it surged, then up again to their ears. The sound dulled everything around them, and all Iris could sense other than the weight and warmth and pleasure of Barry on top of her was the gentle beat of her own heart in her ears.

This was why neither of them heard as Joe called their names up the stairs, why neither heard his footsteps as he approached, and why neither of them heard the door handle twist in its socket.

Not at least, until it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 😬😬😬


	11. Chapter 11

“Dad.” Iris panicked, as she and Barry scrambled apart.

Joe’s face was ashen. He looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“It’s not what it looks like,” she tried to say, pulling her shirt down firmly to her waist.

Joe gave no indication of acknowledging what he’d just seen. His mouth, which had been hanging open slightly, closed. He swallowed and looked away.

“Come say goodbye,” he said shortly, before turning and heading back down the stairs.

Iris looked at Barry. He was as white as a sheet.

“It’s okay,” she said, trying to convince them both. “It will be okay.”

“Iris…” Barry tried to say, his mouth clearly as dry as the desert.

“Barry, it’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t want to get kicked out,” he said, tears welling in his eyes.

Iris shook her head violently. “He won’t kick you out. I promise.”

“Where would I go?” He thought aloud, as if he hadn’t heard her.

“Barry,” she said sternly, grabbing a hold of his shoulders and shaking him slightly. “He won’t kick you out. I won’t let him. Now, we are going to go downstairs, and we are going to say goodbye to our guests. And they are not going to know that anything just happened.”

Barry swallowed and nodded, then tried to gather his senses.

Iris stood and adjusted her shirt once more, then reached over to fix Barry’s hair. She gave him what she hoped was a comforting smile, then led the way downstairs.

Thankfully, Iris observed, everyone seemed to have enjoyed a great deal of Grandma’s Esther’s cranberry punch. The adults were just as rosy cheeked as she and Barry were, albeit for a different reason. None of them seemed to notice how Joe was suddenly stunned, or how Barry was looking more sheepish and awkward than usual, or how Iris was trying her best to force a smile.

“Goodbye, Barry and Iris,” Mary cooed. “It was such a pleasure to meet you both, and I wish you all the best on your college applications.” She embraced them both tightly. This turned out to be a good thing, as it gave the impression that Barry’s reticence was due to being hugged by a stranger, rather than being caught red handed kissing Iris.

“I look forward to receiving your application one day,” Lieutenant Singh was saying to Iris as he offered her a hand to shake.

Joe flashed a furious look at his daughter. Again, this seemed to be a blessing in disguise. Iris couldn’t tell whether his anger was actually because of her interest in becoming a detective or the fact that he’d just caught her making out with Barry.

“Lighten up, West,” Singh suggested with a gentle slap to Joe’s stomach.

“I’ll see you on Monday, Detective,” Chyre nodded to his partner.

“See you on Monday,” Joe acknowledged.

He closed the door behind everyone, and paused with his hand on the door for what seemed like an eternity.

“Dad -- I can explain,” Iris began, growing uncomfortable with the silence.

“Joe -- I’m sorry,” Barry tried to apologize.

Joe turned slowly and methodically raised his palms, urging them to be silent.

“Both of you,” he said slowly, in a tone that Iris could not identify, “Are going to go to bed. In your _own_ rooms. And then, we are going to talk about this in the morning.”

There was no arguing the point.

They nodded sheepishly, and turned to head back up the stairs.

Iris looked back at her father as they climbed.

He was hanging his head and pressing his thumb and index finger against the bridge of his nose.

The sight turned her stomach to lead.

“I’m sorry,” Barry mouthed silently as they found themselves alone in the upstairs hallway.

Iris shook her head. “I’m not.” She squeezed his hand and pecked him on the cheek before they parted ways for their own rooms.

 

Iris couldn’t sleep.

She was vaguely aware of her father cleaning up downstairs, then leaving the house. When she heard the car start and pull out of the driveway, she felt like she might be sick. He only went driving like that when he was really mad.

She hugged her legs into her chest and pressed her eyes into her knee caps.

Streams of hot tears fell relentlessly down her cheeks.

 

She opened her eyes at the crack of dawn. She couldn’t remember falling asleep, and now that she was awake, there was no way she could go back to bed. She got up and went downstairs.

Barry was already sitting at the breakfast table in the kitchen. There were purple circles under his eyes and he was staring off into space. She hadn’t seen him look this grave since just after his mother’s murder.

“Bear,” she croaked, the first word of the morning cracking on her unused vocal chords.

“Hi,” he replied softly, his eyes staring right past her, worried and unfocused.

She sat across from him and took his hands. “It’s going to be okay,” she said. She didn’t know it for sure, but she had to tell him it would be.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have…” he started. “Was it wrong?”

Iris felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She’d never felt that what they were doing was wrong. Sure, she’d been shy and secretive about it, but _wrong_ ? Like they’d committed some kind of unforgivable sin? She didn’t -- she _wouldn’t_ subscribe to that. They _cared_ about each other. It was special. It was something only they understood.

She was about to tell him that when the floorboards creaked threateningly behind them and Joe entered the kitchen.

It didn’t look like he’d gotten much sleep, either.

His eyes fell on their hands, clutching each other nervously.

Iris wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw his face soften. A flutter of hope quivered in her chest.

It was dashed when he said sternly, “Iris. I need to talk to Barry. Alone.”

“Dad, I --”

“ _Alone_ , Iris.”

She didn’t want to leave Barry at the mercy of her father, but she had no choice. Reluctantly, she let go of his hands and sauntered out of the kitchen.

She pretended to climb the stairs, then silently crept halfway back down to where she could hear what was going on. She heard the chair where she’d been sitting creak under her father’s weight. Then, silence.

There was a sigh, (her father’s) and then the rustling of paper.

“What’s this?” Barry’s voice asked cautiously.

“Open it,” her father said. She still couldn’t recognize his tone.

More rustling, then:

“Joe. I -- It’s not like that.”

“What is it like, Barry?”

“I _love_ her.”

Suddenly, Iris couldn’t hear anything anymore. She couldn’t breathe. Her chest was constricting, her head spinning. Blood was pumping like a deafening tympani against her ear drum.

 _What_?

Somehow, she managed to crawl the rest of the way up the stairs and get to her bed before collapsing.

“I _love_ her.” Barry’s voice was echoing again and again in her head.

_Do you think we would have been something more?_

_You’re so beautiful._

_Don’t you know?_

_I didn’t think you’d like it very much if I was going around kissing other girls._

_I already have the person I want to hook up with._

_Aren’t you sad?_

_How do you do that? Turn it off._

_Can we keep doing this?_

_This was nice._

_You’re really beautiful._

_Come, Iris._

_You’re gorgeous._

_You’re amazing._

_Nothing is wrong -- it’s the opposite of wrong._

_Can we do this again sometime?_

She clutched at her chest, fighting for air.

Barry loved her.

Like, capital L loved her.

He’d been telling her this whole time.

She’d just been too deaf and too stubborn to hear it.

And the worst part of it all, she knew now, was that she loved him too.

 

**Five minutes ago**

 

Barry watched helplessly as Iris left the kitchen. He couldn’t get a read on Joe’s face, but he assumed it was an expression of fury.

Satisfied that Iris had gone back upstairs, Joe took her place in the seat across from Barry.

Barry wished Joe had never found out. He wished he could go back in time and stop it all from happening. The last time he’d wished that was just after his mother had died.

Joe opened and closed his mouth like he wasn’t really sure where to begin. Barry noticed for the first time that he was holding onto a small paper bag.

Finally, Joe sighed and handed it to him.

“What’s this?” Barry asked.

“Open it.”

Barry didn’t understand. He carefully opened the bag, blinking several times as he stared down into it before he could register the contents.

It looked like a box of condoms.

“Joe, I -- It’s not like that,” Barry panicked. Maybe this was all some strange prelude to him being castrated.

“What is it like, Barry?”

In that moment, Barry said the only thing he could think of. “I _love_ her.”

Joe breathed deeply.

Barry braced, ready for the yelling. But it didn’t come.

“I know, Barry,” Joe said at last. “I’ve watched you be in love with Iris since before you knew what love is. I’ve been waiting years for you to tell her. I guess I just didn’t realize you might have done it already.”

At this, furious and hot tears filled Barry’s eyes. They stung as they escaped, fleeing down his cheeks. “I haven’t,” he confessed hopelessly.

Joe’s expression turned from serious to concerned.

“I haven’t told her anything,” he heaved.

“Okay, son,” Joe tried to console him with a hand on his shoulder. “It’s all right, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Barry tried to speak, but all that came out were unintelligible sounds. His head fell forwards, and Joe caught it, wrapping his arms around his charge.

“Do I have to move out?” Barry sobbed into Joe’s chest.

“What?” Joe asked, bewildered.

Barry sat up and sucked in a jagged breath. “I know you probably don’t want me here anymore.”

“What kind of nonsense are you talking about?” Joe asked, trying to hide his amusement.

Barry hiccoughed and wiped his eyes. “Iris -- she’s your daughter.”

Joe held Barry’s shoulder firmly. “And you’re my son. Or maybe, my son-in-law,” he added with a laugh.

Barry ventured a nervous laugh through his tears. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“What do you mean?” Joe asked.

Barry shrugged and shook his head. “I don’t think she feels the same way I do.”

Joe frowned. “Yesterday wasn’t the first time you two were… doing stuff… was it?”

Barry shook his head again, avoiding Joe’s eyes.

Joe leaned back in his chair and sighed. “I had a feeling something was going on.” He watched Barry carefully, waiting for him to speak. When he didn’t, Joe said, “So are you going to fill me in or do I have to go all dad cop on you?”

Barry flinched, still not sure how Joe was going to receive the news.

“It was just… kissing... mostly,” he said, cautiously.

“Looked like a little more than kissing to me,” Joe pointed out.

Barry shifted nervously. “That’s the mostly part,” he generalized, still wanting to keep somethings between him and Iris. What would she say if she knew he was telling Joe all of this?

“Mhmm,” Joe hummed skeptically. “So let me guess, you were ‘kissing’ and not talking about why?”

Barry nodded culpably.

“She has feelings for you, too, Bear.” Joe said. “She may not know how to deal with those feelings right now, but I know her.”

Barry looked up hopefully. “Are you sure? How do you know?”

“Because I have these two things called eyes.”

“Do you think I should tell her?”

“That’s up to you, Bear. But if you’re serious about building a relationship, you’re going to have to be honest with her.”

Barry nodded. It was pretty much the same advice his father had given him. He’d just been too scared to act on it. There was too much riding on everything going wrong: his best friend, his guardian’s affection, his home.

Well, at least now he knew that Joe wasn’t going to kick him out of the house for loving his daughter.

He glanced down at the paper bag in his hand. “Does this mean we have your blessing?” Barry asked cautiously.

Joe tilted his head from side to side thoughtfully. “Not exactly. To me, you’re still kids. But I’m not an idiot. I know what teenagers are like. If you’re going to be ‘ _kissing’_ … I want you to be smart and responsible about it. I don’t want my daughter’s life ruined by an unplanned pregnancy.”

Barry gave Joe a horrified look. “Joe, I would never…”

“Good,” Joe said with finality. “So that’s why you have those. But you should wait until you’re both ready for the consequences, physically _and_ emotionally. And you better ask for her consent.”

Barry nodded profusely. “I’d never do anything to hurt her.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

Barry continued nodding, nervously clutching the paper bag in his hands.

“Now, you stay here. I’m going to go have a chat with my daughter.”

 

There was a quiet knock on the other side of Iris’ door.

She lifted her head up from her pillow and said, “Come in.”

Her dad entered and took a seat at the end of her bed.

“Barry didn’t do anything wrong, Dad,” she said. “If you want to be mad, you can be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad,” her dad replied.

Iris sat up, perplexed. “You’re not?”

He shook his head.

“Then… what were you talking to Barry about?”

“What you two have been up to lately.”

Iris sunk back down into her mattress and threw an arm across her face. Of course. This was all part of his detective strategy. Separate the suspects and interrogate them individually. Well, she wasn’t going to fall for that.

“He told me everything,” Joe continued. Part of his tactic, for sure.

“Mhmm,” Iris replied skeptically. She _almost_ believed him.  Barry _would_ crack under her father’s questioning.

“So. How do you… feel… about Barry?” Her dad asked cautiously.

She sat up again, swinging her legs over the end of the bed and staring down at her toes. She shrugged. “He’s Barry, Dad.”

“And you’re Iris.”

They’d had this conversation before, hadn’t they? Iris understood now what he’d been trying to say the first time.

She nodded.

“Do you love him?”

Iris searched for her words. She knew now that she did. Why was it so hard to say? “What if I do?” She posed back.

“You’ve always had a special bond,” her father reflected. “That kind of love… it’s rare.”

“What if it goes wrong?” Iris asked, voicing a fear she didn’t realize she had.

“Don’t let it,” her father replied, simply.

He squeezed her shoulders, then stood up, leaving her to ponder her feelings.

 

The rest of the weekend was horribly awkward.

Iris spent most of Friday in her room, reflecting on her feelings and trying to figure it all out. She emerged only for dinner (turkey leftovers), where both Barry and her dad were pretty much silent.

From across the table, she could feel Barry’s eyes on her.

She couldn’t bring herself to meet his gaze.

 _Why didn’t he tell me?_ She kept thinking.

Maybe they would have been able to figure this all out. They could have tried to tell Joe together, instead of having him walk in on them.

Anger was starting to simmer under her skin. The weekend dragged on and they avoided speaking, unsure of where the boundaries were now that Joe was in on the secret. As time advanced, she became less and less certain whether she was angry with Barry or angry with herself.

On Sunday evening, she was sitting at her desk, writing in her journal when Barry burst through her bedroom door. He brought with him an electric energy, like he’d been simmering on something all weekend.

She knew the feeling.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” He demanded.

Iris leapt up from her desk, stunned by the accusation. “What are you talking about?”

“Ever since Friday morning, you haven’t said a word.”

Iris avoided his gaze, looking instead towards her bookshelf where McSnurtle the Turtle was an innocent bystander to the scene. She seized the stuffed animal from the shelf, feeling the need to squeeze something.

“Yeah, well, what about what you haven’t been telling me?” She retorted.

“Wha -- ?” He breathed. His mouth gaped helplessly.

“What did you tell my dad?” She pressed, trying to jog his memory.

“N-nothing, I swear. I didn’t tell him anything.”

“You didn’t tell him _anything_ ,” she summarized sarcastically. “Nothing at all?”

Barry shook his head, obviously oblivious to what she was referring to.

Iris shook her head and turned away from him, still clutching McSnurtle. “Why are you lying?” she mumbled as tears started to well in her eyes.

“I don’t understand. What am I lying about?” Barry pleaded. “Why are you crying?”

Iris rounded on him, hurtling McSnurtle at his head as she declared, “Because -- I love you, too, you idiot!”

The stuffed turtle bounced off of Barry’s perfectly coiffed hair and fell unceremoniously to the ground.

He stared at her, stunned.

“What?” He asked.

“I said I love you,” Iris sobbed. “And you’re an idiot.”

A flicker of a smile brightened Barry’s face.

Suddenly, he was rushing towards her, kissing her so hard that she stumbled backwards towards her bed, where he heaped himself on top of her, clutching her like he’d never let her go.

“I love you,” he said breathlessly between a shower of kisses. “So much.”

She laughed through a sob, wrapping her arms around him as he sucked on her neck. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She implored him, still crying.

“Why didn’t _you_ tell _me_?” He asked, lifting his head.

“I didn’t know,” she said. “I didn’t know until I heard you say it.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter.
> 
> Some of you expressed interest in what Joe is thinking through all of this, so there's a little bit of that here.
> 
> There's an AU Caitlin in this chap. I'm taking liberties. It's a fan fic. 
> 
> Also, TW: Minor medical procedure.
> 
> In keeping with awkward teenage experiences from a female perspective... Iris goes to the doctor. Idk, this part might be weird, but I felt like it was important to include it. It's not meant to be 100% accurate (I'm not a doctor), and I know this works differently from place to place, but it's meant to be a nod at that experience. And with everything going on right now, I wanted this Iris to be empowered and in control of her body <3\. So stay with me.

Joe headed for the cupboard above the fridge and pulled down his grandmother’s favourite bourbon.

 _What a weekend_ , he thought as he fixed himself a nightcap.

Sometimes, he wished he had a fellow parent to talk to about these things. Chyre was a good friend and colleague, but he never felt totally comfortable discussing the kids. He wanted to keep their lives separate from his work as much as possible.

Most of the time, when it came to parenting, Joe operated on instinct. There wasn’t really anyone he could talk to about it. He’d learned over the years that it was best to try to take a step back from an emotional situation and then evaluate the best course of action. He wasn’t always sure he did the right thing.

This… this was new territory for all three of them.

 _Was it okay to supply Barry with condoms?_ He wondered, as he took a seat at the dining room table.

The only other option was forbidding them from having sex. He didn’t know for sure that’s what was happening, but if the scene on Thanksgiving was any indication, they were headed there eventually. He wasn’t sure that he could stop them from being intimate by sheer force of will. He knew what he was like in his late teens.

His parents were strict on the matter when he was their age. This approach pretty much directly led to him losing his virginity purely out of an act of rebellion. It also meant that later on, he wasn’t the smartest when it came to picking partners. He’d never been in a healthy relationship with someone who could take care of themselves _and_ another person.

He wanted better for the kids. He wanted them to have meaningful, reciprocal relationships. He wanted them to find someone with whom they could be friends and _then_ lovers. And wasn’t that what Barry and Iris were?

So, going out after Thanksgiving Dinner, finding a 24 hour pharmacy, buying a box of condoms and giving Barry “the talk” seemed like the best thing to do.

Part of him wasn’t even surprised to see what he did when opened the door to Barry’s room on Thanksgiving Day. For years he’d observed the way Barry and Iris looked at one another when they thought that he or the other wasn’t watching. Even the Allens saw it before Nora’s death: how much Barry and Iris adored each other. It had been tugging at his heartstrings for over a decade. When it involved finding Barry on top of his daughter with his hand up her shirt, it gave him symptoms similar to angina.

Once he’d taken a few minutes to recover, he realized that he’d known for a long time that it would all come to light someday. Sometimes he wondered why it hadn’t happened before now. Another part of him wished they’d wait until they were older. But how much older? They were both going to be turning eighteen in a few short months. Legally, they’d be adults. He couldn’t dictate their lives forever.

Joe couldn’t deny that there was an admirable tenderness between them, like they were connected by some unseen force, by a divine understanding that no one could tamper with. In some ways he envied it. He’d do anything to protect it.

He wanted the best for them, in all aspects of life. He wanted them to be smart and responsible. More than that, he wanted them to be good human beings.

It was hard to know that his sweet baby girl was falling in love, that her body might be shared with another, that she would be vulnerable in a way that she hadn’t been before.

But it was bound to happen sometime, wasn’t it?

And if it had to happen, at least it was with Barry. He was a known quantity. A sensitive kid. A caring kid. A kid who always saw the best in people. Joe admired that about him.

Despite the horror of witnessing his mother’s murder, Barry still managed to carry an unbreakable sense of hope and optimism. He was always concerned for the well being of others. In particular, for Iris’ well being. What more could a father ask for?

So, while he may not have been entirely comfortable with the raised voices overhead, or the gentle thuds that followed, he resolved not to meddle too much. He knew there were only three people in the world who truly understood the depth of Barry and Iris’ connection: Iris, Barry and him.

 

“Dr. Snow’s office.”

“Hello? Hi. Um, I was wondering if I could make an appointment.”

“Yes dear, can I get your name?”

“Um, Iris. West.”

“Okay Iris, I have your file here. May I ask what it is regarding?”

“Oh. Um. Acne. Really bad acne.”

“Mhmm, all right. Well we have an opening on Thursday at nine a.m.”

“Nine? Oh. Um… do you have anything after school?”

“I’m afraid not for a few weeks. I could try to fit you in first thing in the morning?”

“No that’s okay, I’ll take the Thursday.”

“All right dear, I have you booked in for Thursday at nine.”

 

Iris sat nervously in the doctor’s office, her knees jiggling uncontrollably. She’d managed to convince her dad to write her a note to get out of first period.

“Are you sick?” He’d asked.

“No it’s just… my acne has really been really flaring up lately and, you know, I heard from some of the girls at school that there might be something prescription that will help.”

Joe skeptically surveyed her face. “Doesn’t look that bad to me.”

“That’s because you’re a man and you don’t care about these things. Besides they’re deep. You can’t see them all but I can feel them.”

Joe sighed. “All right.”

So here she was. Not wanting to talk about acne at all.

The door opened and a young doctor walked in. “Good morning, Iris. How are you today?”

“I’m fine thanks, Dr. Snow.”

“So you wanted to talk about your acne?” She studied Iris’ face. “Is it intermittent? I don’t see anything.”

Iris shifted uncomfortably. “Actually... I didn’t really want to talk about that.”

Dr. Snow looked thoughtful for a moment, then took a seat in her chair.

“I’d like to go on birth control,” Iris said quickly.

Dr. Snow smiled reassuringly. “Of course. Who is your insurance provider?”

Iris handed her the card that her dad had given her.

“Oh, well this is good, you’ve got a number of options,” Dr. Snow said, scanning her computer. “Are you sexually active?”

Iris wasn’t sure. Was she? “What’s the definition?” Iris asked.

Dr. Snow just gave her another smile and took a note.

“Any chance you could be pregnant?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Any history of blood clots?”

Iris shook her head.

“Oral birth control is often the most talked about, but I’ve been recommending IUDs to most of my patients.”

Iris listened intently as Dr. Snow continued to list options and show her pamphlets, and outline pros and cons. She’d felt embarrassed when she arrived at the doctor’s office, but Dr. Snow made it seem like it was totally normal.

“Um -- will my dad know?” Iris asked, interrupting the doctor and voicing something that had been worrying her.

“Your privacy is protected by state law,” Dr. Snow reassured her.

“Okay, well. I’ll go with your recommendation,” Iris agreed.

“Great. Shall I schedule you in tomorrow for the procedure?”

“Can you write a note to my dad explaining why I have to come back?”

Dr. Snow smiled knowingly. “I’ll say I need you back for some routine blood work. You can take some ibuprofen about an hour before you come in. It will help with the discomfort.”

 

“Routine blood work? For acne?” Joe asked suspiciously.

“Yeah. You know, just to be sure,” Iris replied, pouring herself a glass of water.

Joe surveyed her as he started writing her another note for school.

“Iris… I know it’s hard not having a mother around,” Joe began. “But I want you to know you can talk to me… about anything.”

“I know, Dad. Oh that reminds me. Can I borrow the car for my appointment?”

Joe sighed. “All right.”

 

Iris was nervous, but put on her big girl pants and put her faith in Dr. Snow. It helped to have a cheerful nurse hold her hand through the whole thing. Neither minded when Iris exclaimed, “Mother f-”

The pain only lasted for a minute, and then it was over. Iris stayed a little while for observation then was released from the clinic, feeling crampy and tired from the anxiety.

She drove herself back to school and somehow managed to get through the rest of the day without throwing up.

She waited for Barry to finish cleaning up after his chem lab and met him by their lockers.

“Are you all right?” He asked with concern as soon as he saw her face.

“Yeah. Do you mind driving home?” She asked, handing him the keys.

“Sure.”

She held onto his elbow as she they walked to the parking lot.

“Your doctor’s visit wasn’t about acne, was it?” He asked as he started the car.

“I got an IUD this morning,” Iris said frankly.

“Oh. Right,” Barry breathed, mulling the news over as he pulled out of the parking spot. “Did it -- hurt?” He asked, looking over at her.

“For a minute. I feel kind of queasy now. It’s supposed to be normal.”

“Okay,” he said, “Let’s get you home.” He held the steering wheel with one hand then reached across the console with the other to hold her's.

At home, Iris kicked off her shoes and went straight to the kitchen to boil some water for a hot water bottle.

“Hey, Iris?” Barry asked, as he followed her.

“Yeah Bear?”

“Thank you.” He hugged her from behind, squeezing her tightly and kissing her shoulder.

She didn’t do it for him, but she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. She reciprocated with her hands around his arms. “Where did you come from, Barry Allen?”

He laughed. “I’ve always been here.”

She chuckled then stepped away, reaching into the cupboard for the hot water bottle.

“So,” Barry began hesitantly, “I guess I should tell you that when your dad and I talked… he gave me a box of condoms?”

Iris dropped the bottle from her hands. “He did what?”

“He... gave me a box of condoms.” Barry repeated, scrambling to pick the water bottle up and hand it back to her.

She carefully poured the water from the kettle into it before securing the stopper. “I don’t understand. Why would he do that?”

Barry shifted awkwardly. “He said he wanted us to be responsible.”

Iris puzzled it over as she sat at the breakfast table with the bottle clutched to her abdomen. “Does that mean we’re allowed to?”

Barry shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

“I’m so confused,” Iris said.

Barry laughed and sat beside her, holding her hand. “Me too.”

The sound of the front door opening and closing announced Joe’s arrival home from work. He came into the kitchen carrying a couple boxes of pizza.

“Hey you two,” he said, setting them down and eyeing Iris. “Everything all right?”

Iris nodded. “Just cramps.”

“Oh,” Joe responded.

Iris knew he tried to be cool about it when she told him things like that. He never really succeeded.

“You guys want some pizza?” Joe had hardly finished asking before Barry was up out of his chair and grabbing a slice.

“I’m okay, Dad. Might go upstairs and lie down for a bit.”

Barry, having just taken a big bite of his slice, looked up at her in surprise before she headed down the hallway.

Once in her room, she snuggled under the covers and closed her eyes. It was warm and comfortable under the duvet, aided by the heat of the hot water bottle. She tried her best to relax her muscles and hoped that the clenching in her abdomen would subside.

A few minutes later, there was a soft tap on the door.

“Come in,” she said.

“Hey,” came Barry’s voice as he entered.

“Hey,” she replied, not moving from the comfortable spot she’d found.

“You okay?” He asked, lying down on top of the covers and spooning her.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

He kissed her temple, held her tightly and nuzzled into the back of her neck. The gentle warmth he was radiating soothed her.

They drifted in and out of sleep as the evening wore on, waking only to cuddle each other a little tighter, or adjust a limb that had fallen asleep.

Iris was vaguely aware of her dad checking in before he went to bed. She didn’t bother to open her eyes as she heard him ask, “Everything okay in here?”

“Yeah, everything’s okay, Joe.” Barry replied.

“You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“I would.”

Iris couldn’t see her father nodding, but she sensed it.

“Joe?” Barry ventured. “Can I stay here?”

Iris could practically feel her father’s hesitancy. Even she was a little surprised at Barry’s request. “This isn’t going to be a regular thing,” Joe said.

“I know,” Barry said. “Just for tonight.”

Joe agreed reluctantly. “Just for tonight.”

 

It was the first time Iris could remember waking up next to Barry. His face was just inches from hers as she opened her eyes. Looking at him made her feel like they were always meant to wake up together.

He was still over the covers, and she was still under them, but their hands had found each other’s in the night. They were clasped firmly together while their heads leaned towards one another.

Barry’s face was relaxed and peaceful. She nuzzled his nose, gently trying to wake him.

“Five more minutes, Joe,” he mumbled.

Iris giggled.

His eyes fluttered open at the sound. “Oh. ‘Morning.” His lips curled into a smile.

She leaned in to kiss him.

“How are you feeling?” He asked.

“Better,” Iris replied. Her stomach growled. “Hungry.”

Barry nodded. “Let’s get you some food.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon.


	13. Chapter 13

In the weeks that followed, Barry began to treat Iris as if she were made of glass. Either her peaky appearance after the doctor’s had frightened him more than he let on, or his talk with Joe had been a serious buzz kill. Iris wasn’t sure which. Perhaps it was both.

Whatever the reason, they were dropping off physically, despite their recent declarations of love. Iris couldn’t help but feel disappointed. This was  _ not _ the way she thought things were going to go. She thought that once she’d done everything to be prepared they could get right to it. Instead, Barry shied away from her whenever she tried to give him subtle signals.

It didn’t help that her dad was ever present. The most obvious complication was that neither of them really knew how to navigate being romantic now that Joe was in on their secret.

Relieved from working nights, her dad invited himself to sit with them during weekend movies. This meant that any time Iris tried to lean on Barry, or get him to put his arm around her, Barry got this panicked look on his face. He tried his best to shrug her away without being too obvious. Deep down she knew that he was just embarrassed in front of Joe. But it still hurt. 

As they got caught up on  _ Iron Man _ , Iris drifted deeper into her own thoughts. She thought about the night that they’d first said, “I love you.” There’d been so much energy then, so much pent up emotion that they had to discharge it somehow. So when Barry affectionately tackled her to the bed, it wasn’t long before their clothes were shed and he was sucking her between her legs. She hadn’t even asked him to, he just went for it. Both of them briefly managed to forget that Joe was downstairs. 

After that, Iris even thought that she might be okay fooling around while her dad was in the house, so long as they were discrete. What was stopping Barry from relaxing now? He hadn’t cared in the weeks before.

Iris ruminated endlessly. She realized they hadn’t put a label on things. At the time it didn’t feel like they needed one. They were just Barry and Iris, Iris and Barry. They were the same as they’d always been, yet different. Now, the longer their dry spell went on, the more she was starting to wonder if they should have. Would it have made a difference?

At school, they pretended nothing had changed between them. Iris initially assumed neither was ready for the potential ridicule or scrutiny that might come with making their relationship public. Now, she was starting to question why they had to be so secretive about everything. What if in all of their public pretending Barry had forgotten how to be intimate with her in private?

Whatever the reason, it was quietly driving Iris up the wall. 

 

Before Iris knew it, the Friday before Christmas break was upon them. 

She waited for Barry at their lockers. She was trying her best to be patient and not push him, but she wished she knew what was going on in his head. Instead, she compensated by taking every opportunity to be beside him. 

He flashed her a bright smile, happy to see that she’d waited for him. When he finished packing his bag, they started their walk home, quiet but comfortable in one another’s presence. 

At a safe distance away from unwanted attention, their hands slipped together, each finger entwined around the other’s. This had become routine and was the only contact keeping Iris sane. 

She squeezed their hands and looked over at Barry. His cheeks had turned red in the decidedly winter air. As if on cue, the first snowfall of the year fluttered gently down onto their noses. He looked so handsome in the fading light that she could barely stand it. 

How she wished he would just stop walking for a minute, shove her up against that maple tree over there and kiss her silly.

He did nothing of the sort. 

“Bear, do you feel like we’re starting over again?” Iris asked as they arrived home. 

He frowned as he slipped his key into the front door. “What do you mean?” He asked before setting his backpack down in the entrance way. 

Iris shrugged off her winter coat and hung it on a hook by the wall. “I just noticed we haven’t really been … doing stuff lately.”

Barry gave her a conflicted look. He sat silently on the staircase and focused intently on taking his boots off.

“Is there something wrong?” She asked.

He shook his head. “No, nothing’s wrong.”

“Then why won’t you touch me?” She pleaded, her voice coming out more pained than she’d intended.

He stood up with a stunned expression on his face. She could see in his eyes that he wanted to pretend like he didn’t know what she was talking about. But he couldn’t hide the fact that he knew very well.

“I don’t know,” he said finally.

There was a knot forming in Iris’ throat. What if he was realizing that he didn’t love her after all? What if after everything... being with her wasn’t what he’d thought it would be? “Do you still love me?”

“What?” Barry looked aghast. “Of course I do.” 

“Then why are you so far away?” Her voice wobbled threateningly as she spoke.

Barry glanced over his shoulder towards the kitchen, checking to make sure Joe hadn’t beat them home. He stepped forward and took her hands in his. 

“Iris, I want to make love to you  _ so bad _ . I have since, like… puberty.”

She laughed a little, despite the tears welling in her eyes. “I don’t understand. Then why…”

He swallowed and looked deep into her eyes. “Your dad said we should wait until we’re ready.”

“I  _ am _ ready,” Iris protested.

Barry frowned. 

“I  _ got _ ready,” she continued. “We talked about it, and I went to the doctor’s…”

He was nodding along with her like he knew all of this already. “I know. I know.”

“My dad gave you a box of condoms…”

He laughed. “Yeah... I had some before that anyway.”

Iris’ eyes widened. “You did?”

He shrugged. “Well, I wasn’t exactly sure what was going to happen when we were… you know. I just wanted to be prepared.”

“So… what’s changed?”

Barry sighed and led her to the couch where they sat together. Her stomach twisted as she waited for him to speak.

“Iris,” he began, “I’ve always been crazy about you. So much so that when we started kissing right here on this couch… if you’d said you’d wanted to have sex then, I would have, just to be with you. I didn’t think I cared if you felt the same way about me, I just wanted to be with you so badly. I wanted you to feel good, and I felt so lucky that you picked me to do all of that stuff with.”

Iris listened quietly. She hadn’t realized all of this.

“When Joe said we should wait until we were ready, I didn’t really think much about it at first. I thought we were. But then you said you loved me, and I told you how I felt and… I started to realize something.”

“What?” She asked.

He smiled and blushed, looking down at his lap. “I’ve pictured us… together… a lot. But in my mind, it was never a hookup. I realized I would have been totally destroyed if we’d gone all the way and I hadn’t told you how I felt or knew if you felt the same way.”

“But you did,” Iris said. “And I do.”

“I know,” he replied. “I just… wanted to savour that for a bit: what it means to love each other. I guess I worried that if things got too hot and heavy, I’d forget to savour it... Not to mention your dad is  _ always _ around lately.” 

Iris nodded. It sort of made sense to her.  “Was I taking advantage of you?” she asked.

At this Barry broke into a grin. “Are you kidding? You can do whatever you want with me, Iris West.” He reached over to pull her onto his lap, then flopped out his arms like he was ready to be taken, smiling slyly all the while.

“Yes, but you’re saying that now, knowing we’re in a consensual relationship.”

“Relationship, huh?” He grinned, leaning his head back on the couch, as she angled her head down to kiss him warmly. “I like the sound of that.”

She nodded and tilted her head down towards his. He accepted her mouth on his readily, his body relaxing beneath her as his hands found their way to her hips. 

“I love you, Barry,” she told him as she broke away. “And when you’re ready, I would really like to make love to you.”

He nodded, his eyes going dark at the mere mention of it. “Okay,” he breathed. “Soon.”

 

“So,” Joe began at dinner on Sunday night. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

He was going to be at work until the afternoon of the 24th, which meant they’d have two whole eight hour stretches where Joe wouldn’t be home, and one four hour stretch. Iris was keenly aware of the timeline and was scheming accordingly.

“I’m going Christmas shopping tomorrow with Jess,” Iris said happily. 

“I’m going to Carlos’ to play video games,” Barry replied.

Joe nodded, apparently relieved that they wouldn’t be home alone together. “And Tuesday?”

“Wrapping presents,” Iris replied.

“Me too,” Barry agreed.

She kicked him under the table, which thankfully Joe didn’t notice.

“-- I mean, I have to do my shopping then.”

“All right. So… can I trust you two to be smart while I’m at work?” Joe inquired, getting to the real reason he was asking. 

Barry swallowed nervously under his guardian’s gaze. “Yessir.”

“Of course, Dad,” Iris replied.

“Good.”

 

Iris’ plan for the Christmas weekend had three phases.

First, she and Jess stopped by Victoria’s Secret. This was a usual stop on their shopping trips, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary. She knew Barry’s favourite color was red and she wanted to find something that would make her irresistible. 

After finding just the right red lace set, she took her items to the cash where Jess was already paying for her 5 for 25s. 

Second, they stopped at another store that always had the most amazing smelling candles. Iris stocked up on a bunch of vanilla ones, causing Jess to raise her eyebrows. 

“Planning something special?” Her friend asked.

Iris blinked bashfully. “I’ve been seeing someone,” she said, unable to hide a smile.

Jess’s mouth almost dropped. “And you didn’t tell me? Dish, girl!”

“It’s still new,” Iris replied.

“New but… sexy?” Jess asked, eyeing Iris’ purchases. “Where’d you meet?”

“He’s a… friend of the family.”

“Oh boy. What does Barry think of that?”

“What do you mean?” Iris feigned innocence.

Jess rolled her eyes. “The boy is head over heels for you.”

Iris shook her head a little too enthusiastically. She was glad they weren’t having this conversation a few months ago. It would have blown her mind into tiny little pieces. “He is not. He’s my best friend.”

“If that’s what we’re calling it these days. He can’t be too happy about your  _ lover _ , though is he?”

“Actually,” Iris replied, telling the truth this time. “He couldn’t be happier.”

Jess just raised her eyebrows in surprise.

 

The third part of the plan had to wait until the next day. After her father left for his shift and Barry decided to jump in the shower, Iris got to work.

She undid the rollers she’d put in her hair the night before, put on the lingerie she’d purchased, then slipped on a robe. She took the candles into Barry’s room and set them down in strategic places, lighting them with the barbeque lighter she’d found in the kitchen. 

Her phone, set to a playlist she’d been curating for the last few weeks, was placed on the bedside table. As the gentle music began to play, she surveyed the scene. Grey winter light was just barely peering in through the window. Combined with the soft glow of the candles, it created the perfect atmosphere. She sighed happily, feeling like everything had gone according to plan. 

Finally, she waited. Listening intently to the gentle stream of the shower, she laid back on Barry’s bed and tried to figure out what the most seductive position would be. 

The shower tap ceased with an audible squeak. A few moments later, Barry opened the door. A towel was draped around his waist. His hair was still damp and fluffy. 

It was the candles that he noticed first. Iris enjoyed the pleasantly puzzled look that crossed his face before he saw her lying on his bed. 

“Oh,” he breathed in happy astonishment, almost accidentally dropping his towel. 

“Hi,” she giggled.

“Hi,” he replied with a smile.

“I think we’ll be alone today,” she said in what she hoped would be a tantalizing tone.

He seemed at a loss for words but nodded as he approached the bed. “You look really pretty,” he said finally, reaching out for her and touching the curls of her hair gently. She noticed his hand was trembling slightly.

“So do you,” she replied, sitting up and placing her legs on either side of him. 

She ran her hands up to his hips, and then around to the small of his back. He bent forward to kiss her, capturing her mouth tenderly. It was the first proper kiss they’d had in weeks, and Iris drank it in like he was water in a desert. His skin and lips were extra soft from the shower, and he smelled amazing: like freshness and Barry. 

He leaned forward into her, ready to follow her back to the mattress, but she stopped him with a hand at his chest.

He pulled back with a questioning look in his eye.

She just smiled and tugged at his towel, causing it to drop to the floor. “I wanted to return a couple of favours,” she confessed quietly, happy to see he was already getting hard.

“Oh,” he breathed softly, his lips curling at the edges into a satisfied smirk. “Okay.”

Her hand wrapped gently around him. She stroked lightly in the way that he liked, his face relaxing as he gave into the sensation. He hummed quietly and closed his eyes. It didn’t take long before he was fully at attention. 

With one hand holding him steady, Iris ventured forward. Then she took him into her mouth. 

She’d been both curious and nervous about this for a long time. She wondered about it during their previous encounters and occasionally fantasized about it when alone. Sometimes she worried it would be gross, or that she would be terrible at it.

It wasn’t gross. And if Barry’s gentle grunt or the wobble in his knees were any indications, she wasn’t terrible. 

She focused on keeping her lips over her teeth, sliding her mouth gently over his length, sucking slightly as she pulled back, relaxing her jaw as she retook him. Over and over she pulled, sucked and dragged her tongue, trailing up the large vein, pressing against his tip and repeating the motion all over again.

He made satisfied little sounds as her mouth moved on him, and threaded his hands through her curls while she worked. He followed her movements, never forcing her. The more she teased, the more his fingernails curled into her hair, grazing softly at her scalp as he muttered, “Mmmph, Iris… feels good.”

“Mhmm,” she responded, caressing her hand from his hip to the round flesh of his bum as she pulled him in a little closer. 

It was rewarding to know that her ministrations could make his knees quake. 

At one time, she worried this act would feel uncomfortably submissive, but she found she was in complete control. The thought brought on a familiar warmth between her legs. She suspected she could make him come like this if she wanted to. Her suspicions were confirmed when Barry muttered, “I might not last much longer if you keep going.” 

She didn’t want to finish him that way. Not today. 

She had other plans. 

She sucked one last lick, his dick slipping from her lips with a gentle pop. 

He was panting softly, looking down at her with dark, hungry eyes.

Iris returned his gaze, beckoning him forward as she shifted back towards the headboard. 

He climbed towards her on hands and knees, pausing to unknot her robe and pull open the fabric. A low sound escaped his throat as he discovered what was beneath. “Jesus Christ, Iris,” he cursed as he took stock of the red lace lingerie. 

She giggled. “Merry Christmas, Barry.”

“Best Christmas,” he breathed, already pulling the scrap of red lace down her legs as he mouthed at her stomach, hips and thighs.

He was about to sink down onto her snatch when Iris pulled him up to kiss her. “Wait,” she entreated. “If you’re ready, there’s something else I want.”

His pupils dilated and he gave a hypnotised nod before she kissed him again. 

She scrambled up from the bed, aware of Barry’s eyes on her as she dropped the robe from her shoulders. 

She went to his bedside table and opened the drawer. In her earlier scheming, she’d confirmed that he’d left the condoms in there. She took a single prophylactic from its box and turned back towards him.

His eyes were wide, his face studious. He reached a hand out for her and pulled her to where he was kneeling on the bed. “You sure?” He asked.

Iris nodded as she kneeled beside him. “I’m sure.” 

He nodded and kissed her again, threading his hand around the back of her neck and up into her hair. He tugged ever so gently on the strands as he fisted his fingers in her curls, causing her to let loose a quiet moan and expose her neck to his lips.

As he kissed, sucked and nipped just below her ear, his hand migrated back down her neck and between her shoulder blades. He flattened his palm against her skin, then curled his fingers into her flesh. 

Iris hummed as his kisses sent waves of shivers rushing through her nerves. 

He fumbled with the clasp of her bra, trying a few times before finally getting the hooks to unlatch. Victorious, he pulled the straps from her shoulders and tossed it to the floor, hardly missing a beat before he was squeezing a nipple up into his mouth. 

Iris let out a soft moan. 

He leaned back towards the headboard, coaxing her to follow him. She needed no encouragement, and willingly straddled his hips, the blood already surging between her legs.

Despite the anticipation, she found she couldn’t keep her hands from trembling. 

He took the square foil from her quivering fingers. “Are you all right?” He asked. “You’re shaking.”

Iris leaned forward to press her mouth against his, seeking the comfort of his lips. “Just a little nervous, is all.”

He breathed a laugh. “Me too.”

“Doesn’t seem like it,” she teased, stroking his hard length.

“Excited and nervous,” he confessed, blushing bashfully.

Iris understood. It was how she felt, too. 

“I love you,” he said tenderly, looking up at her with earnest eyes.

The fluttering in her stomach relaxed a little. “I love you, too,” she replied.

He nodded and tore the side of the foil open, slipping the condom out and looking for the correct side. 

“Here,” Iris offered. “Let me.”

She took it from his hands, squeezing the air from the tip and setting it against his head. He stilled as she rolled it down over him, taking her time with long, steady strokes. 

He practically purred beneath her touch. 

When she reached the base, Iris lifted her hips over him and held him to her entrance. He placed his hands gently on either side of her thighs, while she met his gaze. His eyes were warm and kind and full of love. 

“Take your time,” he whispered, almost inaudibly.

She nodded, cautiously sinking her weight over him as he slowly pressed into her. At first there was resistance, but she was pleased to find it didn’t hurt. Relaxing a little, she let herself take him further. The resistance subsided and she swiftly bottomed out, her hips connecting with his as she adjusted around him. 

He was filling her completely, his length warm and hard inside of her. The sensation was intense. She could already feel herself throbbing faintly around him. 

Testing her boundaries, she rocked backwards slightly, pleased to find that the friction was good. 

Barry let out a soft groan and pressed his head back into the pillow. He closed his eyes briefly, letting his lips hang open in a sweet pout. His mouth looked so enticing that Iris couldn’t help but lean forward to suck on his bottom lip. 

Her arms fell on either side of his head, and she threaded her fingers through his hair as she kissed him. She moved to pepper kisses along his jaw and jugular. His skin was soft and sweet beneath her lips. She nipped at his neck, tonguing the freckles that she found there, making him squirm beneath her. 

“God, Iris,” he rasped, as she rocked a little harder. His hands were circling her waist, racing up her back and pulling her close. 

He shifted beneath her, raising his hips and knees just slightly, seeking out the maximum contact between them as she continued to roll her hips languidly down onto him. 

“I love you,” he panted into her ear. He clutched desperately at her back as he followed her rhythm, stroking her with his hands and uttering soft unintelligible sounds, until finally she discerned, “I’ll love you forever.” 

He was warm and good and strong beneath her. He responded to her movements instinctively, like a dance they’d never practiced but somehow always knew. She wanted to melt into him, to be a part of him forever, to have their beings meld together blissfully and eternally. 

It felt like they were no longer just themselves, but part a greater love and higher understanding, part of each other. The temperature of their skin rolled to a boil as their hearts beat in tandem, fervently, passionately, sincerely, finally beating out of every part of them, muscles clenching, voices moaning, bodies burnishing, until sweet release overtook them in shared and utter bliss.

Iris gasped for air against Barry’s ear. He clutched her tight against him, twisting his neck to kiss her lips, cheek and forehead. 

They held each other tight as their hearts thrummed against one another’s, unwilling to part after such a sweet union.

But Barry was spent, and they had to separate. He reached down between them, holding the condom as she shifted sideways off him. 

Her knees were still weak and breath still evaded her lungs. She rested lazily back against the mattress as he sat up to tie off the condom and throw it away.

He returned to bed with a saccharine expression on his face.

There was some emotion stuck in Iris’ throat as he nuzzled her neck and cheek. She wasn’t sure if she felt like laughing or crying. 

“Love you,” Barry whispered, sucking on her ear.

“Love you,” she repeated almost automatically, her mind a million miles away. “Do you feel different?” She asked after a minute.

Barry paused cuddling her and propped his head up. “I don’t know,” he said innocently. “I just feel... good.”

Iris nodded, still pensive.

“Do you feel different?” He asked, picking up on her thoughts. 

“A little,” she confessed. She tried to sort through it. She’d been told for so long that it would change everything. Had it? 

It wasn’t bad. No, it was  _ wonderful _ . So why did she feel so emotional?

“I thought I would feel more different… after,” she confessed.

Barry nodded thoughtfully, watching her as she parsed through her thoughts. “I thought… it was really nice,” he said.

“Yeah?” Iris asked, seeking validation.

“More than nice,” he replied. “It was everything.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down onto her bare chest. 

He seemed content to stay there, his arms similarly wrapped around her waist, their naked legs still threaded lazily together as they fell into a sated sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

There was no question about a second round the moment they woke from their rest. This time Barry climbed on top of her, cradling her under him as he sunk down into her, rocking her slowly, affectionately, passionately until they were both peaking again. 

After that, it was like they’d broke open a dam.

For the rest of Christmas break, whenever they had a moment alone, they rushed to one or the other’s room. In a flurry of t-shirts and jeans, they’d discard their clothes, connecting the moment they were freed, trying their best to meld with one another until nirvana seemed near. 

They couldn’t stop touching, pleasing, pleasuring each other.

Their exploits started spilling into other parts of the house: the kitchen, the basement, the laundry room. 

They lived for the hours that Joe went to work. They tried to be casual when he was home. Neither was sure how well they were doing. 

It was torture to return to school in the New Year. The first day back was a special kind of agony. The kind where Iris couldn’t focus on a word Mr. T was saying about their upcoming exam, because she was staring at Barry’s back, thinking about the freckles hiding beneath his sweater. 

As Mr. T came around with a list of potential study topics, all Iris could hear was the memory of the soft grunts Barry made when he was coming. It made the blood rise to her cheeks. 

She waited for him after school, then they headed home. As if on cue, their hands slipped together when they reached the old maple. 

Iris hastened her steps. Barry caught on quickly, jogging slightly to keep up with her as she hurried faster. 

As they approached the house, they broke into a sprint, tumbling clumsily up the stairs, wrestling with the lock and piling into the front hall before the door swung shut behind them.

Iris looked at her watch as she discarded her winter coat. Her father wouldn’t be home for at least another few hours. 

Barry seemed to be on the same page. He rushed her as soon as he was free of his winter boots and they tumbled over the back of the couch. Iris landed softly with her back on the seat cushions, while Barry was splayed awkwardly, half over her, half over the side of the couch. 

It didn’t deter them. 

She sat up and pulled at the button on his jeans, while he peeled off her leggings. He tugged the fabric from her ankles, hauling her hips over the arm of the couch, then lunging over her to kiss her.

They rocked dangerously together, fumbling for contact.

“Wait -- Iris -- condoms -- upstairs,” Barry panted as she held his jaw.

“I don’t care,” Iris breathed, half out of her mind with desire. “I’m covered, remember?”

The head of his shaft was brushing suggestively at her entrance, kindling a heat in her. 

“This is a bad idea, isn’t it?” Barry rasped in her ear.

“It’s okay, Bear -- just -- give it to me,” Iris pleaded.

His eyes widened for a moment, half shocked Iris would say such a thing. But it clearly turned him on, because he thrusted forward into her, connecting with her heat and sheathing himself in her. They paused for a moment, holding still, and enjoying the sensation.

“If your dad comes home I’m going to be in so much trouble,” he whispered as he started to rock into her.

“He won’t be home for -- ah -- another couple of hours,” Iris sighed. 

She reached up under his shirt, scraping her fingernails down his back as he moved in a steady rhythm. 

“Hope not,” Barry rasped, sucking on her ear. 

This was such a good angle. Why hadn’t they discovered it before?

“Fuck, Barry,” Iris cursed. She hadn’t meant to swear, it just came out.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell me how it feels,” he whispered low.

Iris’ cheeks burned. “Feels good, Bear.”

“I like to make you feel good,” he murmured.

“You make me feel so good,” she breathed. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

 

Somehow, they survive their exams. It helped to take frequent "study breaks" and release the pent up energy between them. By the start of February, their final semester was upon them. They both had new classes, none of them together. 

Iris reflected on how strange it was to no longer be starting the day with Barry in History. She still had  Mr. T for second-period Politics. Perhaps unfortunately, the new classroom was next to the cafeteria, and it was hard to concentrate on Mr. T’s summary of the semester’s curriculum when the smell of pizza was wafting over from next door. 

Her stomach growled loudly just as the bell rang. Ravenous, she rushed out of the door, almost tripping over a table in the hallway that hadn’t been there before class started.

“What the —” She exclaimed in surprise.

“Oh hey, Iris,” sang a shimmery voice.

Iris looked up to find Becky Cooper seated at the table in front of a cash box, under a cheerful homemade banner that loudly announced in all caps: PROM TICKETS.

“Hi, Becky,” Iris replied, recovering from the collision.

“Prom tickets go on sale this week,” Becky explained, noticing Iris’ discombobulation.

“Right… I forgot.”

“Think you’ll be going with anyone?” There was a note of hope in her voice like maybe she could double her sales.

“Oh um, probably just Barry,” Iris said without thinking. 

Becky’s face faltered briefly before she re-fixed a smile across her face. “Well... I’ve got two tickets here with your names on them.” She gestured to the pile of freshly cut cardstock.

Iris thought about it for a second. She should probably get some tickets. Then again, was Barry even interested in going to Prom? He’d never mentioned it. Maybe he wouldn’t want to go. “I didn’t bring any money with me today,” Iris stalled. “Maybe later?”

“Sure,” Becky chimed. “We’ll be here all month.”

Iris’ stomach growled again, reminding her that she needed that pizza ASAP. “Great, see you later!”

She headed off towards the cafeteria and got into the line for food, which was now a million miles long. She huffed, annoyed. If only Becky Cooper and her stupid prom tickets hadn’t slowed her down, she could have arrived sooner. 

“Why the grumpy face?” Laughed a familiar voice beside her as someone bumped into her arm.

She looked over to see Barry towering over her. He looked especially cute in his soft burgundy sweater.

“Long line. Hangry,” Iris replied shortly.

“I’ll keep my distance, then,” he joked. 

“That’ll only make it worse,” she flirted. She didn’t usually flirt with him during school hours, but lately, she couldn’t help it. They knew everything about one another now, didn’t they? Keeping it on the down-low was getting harder and harder.

He nudged her with his arm in lieu of a hug and asked, “How was politics?”

“I zoned out in the last fifteen minutes,” Iris replied. “All I could smell was pizza.”

He laughed. “I heard there are brownies for dessert today, too.”

“Oh my God, really?” She pressed up onto her toes to see if she could see dessert. Maybe the wait would be worth it after all.

They inched closer and closer towards the servery as the line slowly dissipated. 

“So I bumped into Beck-y Coo-per in the hallway,” Iris began as they finally reached the food. She took a slice of vegetarian pizza, while Barry took one of each. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she said, hurrying along to the brownies. She took two, then placed another two on Barry’s plate. He would eat one. She’d keep the other for later.

“How’s she doing?” Barry asked like it was the polite thing to do.

“Good, I think. She was selling prom tickets,” Iris recounted. 

“Oh right,” He replied. Clearly, he’d forgotten that prom was a thing, too.  

“Do you want to go?” Iris asked casually as they took a seat at their usual table. 

“Iris West,” he teased. “Are you promposaling me?”

She shook her head and laughed. “No, I just wasn’t even sure if you were interested…”

“Well, that’s good because that wasn’t a very romantic promposal,” he laughed.

“Bear, I’m serious.”

A thoughtful look crossed his face as he stared out of the window. “I always thought I’d look good in a tux.” 

She smirked before taking a bite of her pizza. “I’m sure you would.”

“And you’ll look nice too,” he noted. “Whatever you choose to wear.”

“I was thinking maybe a tux, too.”

“I could see it. That would be pretty boss.”

She chuckled. He always made her laugh. By the end of lunch, he had her doubled over in stitches. 

Slowly, the cafeteria thinned out. People were starting to get ready for their afternoon classes. 

“You finished?” Barry asked as he stood up from the table.

She nodded as she chewed her last bite of brownie.

He took both of their trays to the metal racks at the side of the cafeteria. 

She picked up her bag and followed him, noticing that somehow they’d managed to be the last two left. 

As he turned back towards her with a smile, she did something impulsive and pressed up onto her toes, pecking him briefly on the lips.

He grinned as she pulled away. “What was that for?”

“For always making me smile.” 

 

After the final bell of the day, Iris headed back to her locker, surprised to see Barry and Carlos piling out of the chem lab as she passed. There were singe marks trailing up their cheeks, and Barry’s hair was stuck out at odd angles.

“What happened to you guys?” Iris asked, both concerned and amused. “And why are you in the chem lab? I thought you took that last semester?”

Carlos laughed and bopped Barry on the shoulder with a fist. “That was awesome, man. Let’s do it again sometime.”

“Definitely,” Barry laughed, waving goodbye to his friend. “See you tomorrow.”

Iris watched them, waiting for an explanation. 

His cheeks crinkled as he turned back to her with a smile. “Mrs. Lee let us go from physics early and we liberated a bunch of magnesium from the chem lab supply cupboard,” he laughed. 

Iris raised her eyebrows. “Why?”

Barry shrugged as he opened his locker. “For fun. Seemed like a good way to ‘light-up’ the afternoon.” He looked at her expectantly, waiting for a reaction to his pun.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “Only you would break into the chem lab to make homemade fireworks.”

“Me  _ and  _ Carlos,” he corrected as they continued walking towards their lockers.

“What if someone saw you?”

He shrugged. “They didn’t.”

Iris looked at the char marks on his face. “You’re covered in soot,” she said, trying to wipe some away with her thumb.

“Iris…” Barry feigned a complaint.

She knew he didn’t really mind by the way his eyes fluttered closed and his face relaxed. 

“Everything all right, Mr. Allen?” Boomed Mr. T’s deep voice as he passed them in the hallway. 

“Yessir,” Barry straightened up. “Just a little mishap in the chem lab.”

“Do I need to fill out an injury report?” Mr. T asked as he paused for a minute to survey them. 

“No sir,” Barry replied. “Everything’s fine.”

“All right. You take care of him, West.”

“I will,” Iris replied as their teacher turned away and continued down the hall. 

Barry wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “What are you going to do to take care of me?”

Iris smirked. “Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” she said, taking off down the hall ahead of him. 

“Wait and see about what?” He called, racing after her.

 

When they stumbled through the front door of the house, laughing and giggling, they didn’t expect to find Joe waiting in the armchair in the living room. Iris’ face fell as soon as she saw him. Was everything okay?

“Dad!” She exclaimed as she hung up her coat. “What are you doing home so early?”

“Taking some lieu time,” he said, standing up from the armchair. She hadn’t noticed that he was holding a large, thin white envelope. Her stomach dropped. 

“This came for you, today,” he said, walking over to her and handing it to her. 

It was marked in the top left corner with the Keystone U logo. Sure enough, it was addressed to her.

In her peripheral vision, she saw Barry and her father exchange curious looks. 

She flipped it over in her hands a few times, feeling uncertain. It was a large envelope, which was good. But it was thin, which could also be bad. 

_ Quick like a band-aid _ , she told herself, mustering the strength to tear it open.

She stared at the page for several long seconds before she could register the content of the cover letter. 

“Well,” Joe asked tentatively. “What does it say?”

Iris sucked in a deep breath. 

“I got in,” she said quietly, a feeling of relief swelling in her chest. “I got in!” She repeated, looking up at Barry whose eyes were lighting up in pride. “I got in!” She said once more, jumping into his arms as he lifted her off of the ground and spun her around.

He was laughing. “Congratulations, Iris,” he said as he set her down.

She looked over at her father, who was reaching towards her and wrapping her in a bear hug. 

“That’s my girl!” He exclaimed, squeezing tightly and waving her back and forth. 

Iris felt another set of arms pile on top of them as Barry joined in for the hug. 

“I think I even got an entrance scholarship,” she mumbled into her dad’s chest.

“Let me see!” Joe exclaimed, releasing her and fumbling for the papers in her hand. “Damn girl, you did good!”

She laughed and took it back from him. She was right, they were offering her an entrance scholarship. A pretty decent one, too. 

She flipped over the first page to find more details about tuition. 

_ Oh _ . 

She knew college was going to be expensive, but … that was a lot of money. More than her dad had been able to save. Not even the scholarship would help cover it. Her heart sank.

Keystone U wasn’t even her first choice. CCU was sure to be more expensive. 

“What’s wrong?” Barry asked, noticing her change in expression.

She looked up at them in a panic. Unable to find the words, she handed her father the tuition details. 

He scanned the text quickly. His brows knitted briefly in worry before he shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. You can apply for financial aid and I’ll cover the rest.”

“But Dad, that’s way more money than we have.”

He shook his head. “You let me worry about that.”

Barry was watching them anxiously. 

“Maybe I should get a job,” Iris posited. 

Joe shook his head. “I want you to focus on getting good grades so you can keep that scholarship.”

“But  _ Dad _ , I can help. And I’ll need a job for the summer anyway.”

He shook his head again. “We’ll figure it out, Iris.”

She didn’t like the way he was dismissing her. She was capable of balancing a job and her grades. It was for her education after all. She just wanted to contribute. 

“I’m proud of you,” her Dad said, embracing her again and kissing her on the top of her head. 

“Me too,” Barry piped in, happily. 

She smiled on the outside, knowing she should be filled with joy. On the inside, she was filled with anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The timelines for college applications/acceptances are not 100% accurate. Just roll with it. 😘


	15. Chapter 15

Stubborn as she was, Iris didn't listen to her father. She started putting together resumes and handing them out to local businesses and coffee shops. Joe was aware of what she was doing. At first, he tried to reiterate his point about her focusing on her grades. Eventually, he gave up, only responding with ‘Hmms’ when she complained about how no one seemed to be hiring. 

After a string of failed attempts, she wandered into Jitters in her most professional outfit and asked the manager on duty if they had any positions available.

“You looking for full time or part time?” The manager asked. 

“Part-time,” Iris responded. 

“Ever worked at a coffee shop before?”

“No,” she admitted sheepishly. “But I’m a quick learner and I’d be great with customers.”

“Can you start on Saturday at 11?”

“Yes, I can.”

“Great, we’ll see you then.”

She could hardly believe her luck. After so much searching, she got a job without even a proper interview. She decided not to question it.

Happy and relieved, she wandered home to find Barry and her Dad seated around the dining room table. 

“I got a job!” She exclaimed as she took off her coat. “I went into Jitters, and the manager asked if I could come back on Saturday for my first shift.”

“That’s great, Iris,” Barry said softly. 

There was something different about the atmosphere in the room, Iris realized as they looked at her quietly. Her father especially was looking back and forth between them.

That’s when she noticed it.

A thick, ecru envelope with the art deco stamp of MetU letter-pressed into the top left corner. 

As she approached the table, she saw it was addressed to Barry Allen. 

“Have you opened it?” She asked hesitantly, looking to see if the seal was broken.

Barry shook his head. “I wanted to wait until you got home.”

She tried to smile. Surely an envelope that thick was good news. “Well,” she said softly. “Go on, then.”

He smiled and reached for the envelope, tearing through it with trembling hands. 

His eyes scanned the cover letter furiously, a relieved smile growing on his face as he read each word. 

“I got in,” he whispered quietly. “Full scholarship.”

“Bear,” Joe replied, getting up from his seat and wrapping Barry in a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, Joe,” he huffed a laugh, tears welling in his eyes. 

Iris, meanwhile, was stunned. She was proud of him of course. It wasn’t any surprise to her that Barry would get in. She knew as soon as she saw the envelope. 

Barry looked over at her.

“Congratulations, Bear,” she said, as she gave him a hug. 

“Thanks, Iris,” he mumbled into her shoulder as he squeezed her tightly. “Maybe we can go tell my dad?” Barry asked Joe as he released her. 

Joe nodded. “Get your coat.”

Iris smiled at Barry, encouraging him to go.

He stood from his chair, then leaned down to give her a long, slow kiss. “I’ll be back,” he said.

She nodded. 

As she watched the two men she loved most in the world leave through the front door, Iris couldn’t help but feel like she was going to be sick. 

This was how she was going to lose him. Her Barry. 

He was going to leave and go to the best school in the country.

He was going to forget all about her, and their basic life in Central City. Become a world-class physicist. Get so absorbed in his work that he’d forget all about her. Meet some other world-class physicist and fall in love. Have the perfect life that he was always meant to have. 

It was what he was destined for. She wanted it desperately for him. She wanted Barry to achieve great things. She always knew he would. 

The problem was (and this was the part that was making her sick), she didn’t factor into that future.

 

Around ten, she was reading quietly in her bed when she heard the front door open and close, followed by the recognizable sounds of Barry and her dad arriving home. A few minutes later, there was a soft tap at her door.

“Come in,” she said.

Barry poked his head in. He was smiling from ear to ear. “Hey!”

“Hey,” she replied. “How’d it go?”

“Good,” he said, as he closed the door softly behind him and came over to sit on the side of her bed. “He was really happy.”

“I’m sure he was.”

Barry smiled then leaned in to kiss her. 

She wrapped her arm around his neck and brought him down into her. “It’s a pretty amazing opportunity, Bear.”

“Yeah,” he said briefly, hardly letting his lips leave hers. 

“I’m happy for you.”

He smiled and nuzzled her nose. “Thanks, Iris.”

She nodded. There was a lump forming in her throat that could only be soothed by his lips on hers. She drank him in, deeply and needfully. Her book fell away from her hands and landed with a subtle thud on the floor.

She reached for his buttons, fumbling urgently with them as she undressed him. 

“Shouldn’t we be getting ready for bed?” He asked. “School tomorrow.”

Iris didn’t reply. She needed to be with him, needed to feel his skin on hers. 

She told him this, not in so many words, but in the way that she rid them of each layer of clothing until Barry was slipping under the covers beside her. His skin was comforting and good against hers, and for the next half hour, the tight knot that had been strangling her all evening, loosened enough for her to breathe a little. At least, until Barry did everything in his power to take it away again.

 

Iris knew what she had to do. She’d made up her mind. She couldn’t be the reason that Barry was held back in life. His mother’s murder and his father’s imprisonment was already working against him. He didn’t need one more thing.

All she needed to do was work up the courage to do what was necessary. 

On Wednesday Barry had Anime club after school. She waited for him patiently at home, sitting at the breakfast table in the kitchen, picking nervously at her cuticles.

When she heard the door open and close, she started tapping her heel uncontrollably. She shivered, unable to get warm.

“Hey!” He said happily as he entered the kitchen and helped himself to some water. “So, I know this is kind of presumptuous, and maybe not a super romantic way of telling, slash, asking you... but I bought us some prom tickets.”

He didn’t notice that Iris was opening and closing her mouth, trying to speak. He just kept rambling.

“And I know everyone is going camping after, but I thought maybe we could have a quiet night together. You know that little Inn down by the waterfront? Well… I got us a room and I thought maybe if it’s not like… you know… too cheesy, we could spend the night? Is that okay? I’m not being gross, am I? I can’t cancel it.”

Iris shook her head slightly. She needed to say it now or she was going to lose her nerve.

“Okay, good.” He beamed. “It’ll be fun.”

“Barry.”

“Yeah?” He paused, noticing the look on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t go to prom.”

“What? Why not?”

She tried to swallow through the lump in her throat. It was like a knife going down. 

“We need to stop.”

“Stop what?” The confusion on his face was palpable.

“This,” she croaked, gesturing between them.

Barry was silent.

Iris tried to hold steady. 

_ Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. _

“I think we should stop seeing each other,” she tried to clarify, her voice hoarse.

Barry laughed. His brain couldn’t process what she was saying. He thought she was joking. 

She kept her face steady until he suddenly came to the realization that she was serious. Then, he shook his head like he wasn’t willing to hear her. 

“No,” he said, wringing his hands and shaking his head a little harder. “No. You love me. And I love you.”

“Barry,” Iris breathed.

“Why are you doing this?”

“It’s just not a good idea.”

“ _ Not a good idea _ ?” He threw it back in her face. “You weren’t worried about whether or not it was a good idea on the couch last week.”

Iris flinched. 

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, stepping forward to try to take her hands. “Iris, I’m sorry, I didn't mean it. I just -- what’s going on? Please. Talk to me.” He kneeled at her feet like he was begging her.

She pulled her hands away. “Nothing’s going on, Barry. I just… don’t think we should be together anymore.”

He looked up at her with the saddest puppy dog eyes she’d ever seen. It almost broke her. 

“You can’t be serious,” he pleaded.

“I am,” she whispered.

He stood up and took a step back, nodding forcefully as he looked down at his feet. “Okay. Okay. If... that’s what you want.” His voice wobbled on  _ want _ . 

“It is,” she said.

He nodded again, not meeting her eyes, then turned away. Shaking his head, he disappeared out of the kitchen.

She listened to his footsteps trod up the stairs, her insides aching as she buried her face in her hands and silently sobbed. 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't keep y'all waiting. Not when I have this burning a hole in my comp.
> 
> If it makes you feel any better I was 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 writing this, too.
> 
> Thank you for continuing to read. ❤️

Barry didn’t come down for dinner that night. Joe kept calling for him, but he never came.

Iris sat at the table, unable to get any food into her mouth due to the constant stream of tears silently waterfalling down her cheeks.

“What is going on with you two?” Joe pleaded with her.

She couldn’t answer. All she could do was keep crying.

Eventually, Joe reached over and wrapped his arms around his daughter. “Hey now,” he consoled her, waving her back and forth slightly. “Hey. It’s okay.”

 

When Iris woke in the morning, she found that Barry wasn’t in the kitchen as per usual.

“He woke up early,” Joe explained, looking up from his morning coffee. “Grabbed some pop tarts and ran out the door.”

Iris nodded sadly. She couldn’t blame him for not wanting to walk to school with her.

“You going to tell me what’s going on?” Her father asked.

Iris tried to open her mouth, but that stupid lump in her throat blocked her. She shook her head.

Joe sighed. “All right, well... when you’re ready, I’m here.”

 

Lunch was worse. Instinctively, Iris took a seat at their usual spot. She waited, alone, hoping Barry would come and join her. Around her, their classmates talked and laughed, blissfully unaware of the tragedy playing out in their midst.

Then she saw him. He was emerging from the food line with a tray in his hand, that sweet, startled baby giraffe look on his face. His eyes met hers for a second. He looked exhausted.

Iris felt a stab of guilt.

He looked away again, as quickly as their eyes had met.

Iris felt like she was going to be sick. In four years of high school, they’d never once not eaten lunch together.

He looked around the cafeteria, found a quiet spot in the corner and sat with his back to her.

She couldn’t stop looking at him. Why would he do that? Surely they could still be friends. The longer she looked, the more she wanted to cry. Was this how it was going to be?

She picked up her tray and disposed of it quickly, no longer hungry.

She raced down the hall as tears blurred her vision, somehow managing to find her way to the library. She hurried through the stacks of books to a quiet cubicle at the back, threw her head down on the desk and cried.

 

That night, Iris was the one that didn’t come down for dinner. She wasn’t entirely sure whether or not Barry did either. As soon as she arrived home, she’d raced up the stairs and threw herself down on her bed. She felt so hollow inside. She couldn’t even cry anymore. It was like she’d used up all of her tears.

He’d forgive her eventually, right? He was a teenage boy. Teenage boys got over things. He was going to get over it and then they could be friends again. Then he’d see that she’d done him a huge favor.

She drifted in and out of an uneasy sleep, waking only to remember that she’d slipped into a dark parallel universe where she and Barry weren’t speaking.

She woke around eleven to the sound of retching coming from the bathroom, and a gentle knock at the bathroom door.

“Bear,” she heard her father’s voice. “You all right?”

The door squeaked open and then closed again.

The darkness of Iris’ bedroom weighed down oppressively on her. She wondered if she too might be ill.

 

Never before had time moved so slowly. February dragged into March at an aching pace, punctured by the sickening displays of over the top promposals and burgeoning love stories that had taken four years to get off the ground. It was like everyone realized there wasn’t much time left and there was nothing left to lose.

Except for Iris, who felt like she’d already lost everything.

Despite living in the same house, she and Barry were doing a pretty spectacular job of avoiding each other. Barry kept waking up early and leaving the house before she did. It helped that they didn’t have any classes together. Somehow they managed to avoid bumping into each other despite their lockers being beside one another. On the few occasions when Iris spotted him there, she waited out of sight until he’d moved on. She suspected that he was doing the same thing with her.

After school, Iris picked up extra shifts at Jitters or went there just to have a coffee and do some homework. Anything to avoid going home.

Joe was back to working nights.

“We might not be able to get the Darbinyan kingpin,” he explained when Iris asked why his schedule was changing, “But there’s a good chance we can get one of his dons. It’s going to require some long nights.”

She nodded sullenly. Her dad’s presence around the house had been some comfort throughout all of this. Now he wasn’t even going to be home when she was.

She realized the irony of wishing her father didn’t have to work nights. Just a few short weeks ago, she’d have given anything for the alone time with Barry. Now she couldn’t think of anything worse.

“When are you going to fill me in on what’s happening?” Her father pressed as if reading her thoughts.

Iris looked up at her dad with wide eyes. “Barry and I broke up.”

Joe sighed. “I know, he told me.”

“I mean… I broke up with him,” she corrected her earlier statement.

“Iris,” he said in exasperation. “This got complicated. I don’t like complicated.”

“I know, Dad.”

“I thought you were worried about things going wrong? Why break up?”

She sucked in a deep breath.

“Because! I don’t want him to wake up in ten years and realize he should have gone to MetU instead of staying here in Central City.”

Joe shook his head. “And you don’t think Barry is capable of making his own decisions?”

Iris bit her lip. “It’s not that simple Dad.”

“Maybe it is that simple. That boy loves you.”

“Not anymore,” she said, her voice cracking as she articulated her worst fear. “I think I broke us,” she said as the tears started to come again.

Joe sighed and wrapped his arms around her. “Baby girl, give it time.”

 

Perhaps the worst day of all was when Iris arrived home from a shift at Jitters to find four large envelopes on the dining room table. Two were already torn open, their contents piled haphazardly together. The other two were addressed to her: one from Central City University and the other from Gem State, respectively.

She tore open the Gem State envelope first. She didn’t really care what it said. It was her last choice.

Accepted. Small entrance scholarship.

Next, she reached for the CCU envelope. It was the thickest envelope of the three she’d received. She opened it with trembling hands.

 

_Dear Ms. West,_

_We are pleased to inform you that the Committee on Admissions has admitted you to the Class of 2013_ _for the degree program of Bachelor of Arts…_

 

Her eyes scanned downwards.

 

_We are also pleased to offer you the Alma Rose scholarship, which covers full tuition for a woman of color demonstrating exceptional promise in academic writing._

 

The page slipped out of Iris’ hands and she sank to the floor. A knot that she hadn’t been aware of untied itself in her chest.

She was going to be okay. She was going to be able to get an education without bankrupting her father. She was going to her first choice school.

Then she realized how alone she was. She wanted to share her good news. She wished her dad was home. She wished Barry wasn’t holed up in his room. She wanted to tell them both so badly.

She managed to find the strength to stand again and looked more closely at the other papers on the table. They were for Barry. He’d been accepted to both Starling City and CCU. Both offered him small entrance scholarships.

Her heart sank a little.

That settled it then. He was obviously going to go to MetU. No one in their right mind would turn down a full ride.

In a daze, she climbed the stairs, leaving all of their acceptance letters still on the table. She paused as she passed Barry’s bedroom. A golden thread of light illuminated the crack under the door.

Hesitantly, she turned and tapped on the door.

There was a pause, and then a shuffle of feet as he approached. He cracked the door open without a word.

His skin was grey and there were purple circles under his eyes. He looked like he needed a haircut. He stared at her with empty eyes.

“I just wanted to say congratulations,” she said, her voice coming out in a squeak.

He nodded. “Thanks.”

“I got a full ride to CCU,” she said tentatively.

A little flicker of light flashed in his eyes. He surveyed her like he wanted to hug her.

He didn’t.

Instead, he quietly said, “Congrats.”

Iris nodded in lieu of knowing what else to say. “Okay. Well. I just wanted to tell you.”

He nodded in response and closed the door.

This was supposed to be a happy day. A day when all that she’d been working so hard for paid off. But as Iris settled into her room, all she could do was struggle for air.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” her father told her the next day when she came down the stairs.

“Thanks, Dad.”

“You saw Barry got into CCU, too?”

Iris nodded sadly. “Not as big of a scholarship as MetU, though.”

Her dad wobbled his head slowly from side to side. “No… but Barry doesn’t really need the money.”

Iris’ brows knitted. “What do you mean?”

Joe leaned forward in his chair and rested his arms on his knees. “After Nora’s death, the Allens’ assets were put in a trust for Barry. Everything, including the sale of their house.”

“Oh,” Iris murmured.

“It’s just been sitting in an account for the last seven years, accumulating interest.”

Iris considered this new information carefully. “Still,” she said. “He’d be a fool to say no to a full ride.”

Joe nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe. Maybe he has other reasons.”

Iris shook her head. “No, Dad. He can’t stay here because of me. That’s over.”

“I don’t mean you,” Joe replied. “There’s his father, too. Not to mention that pure Physics isn’t even his top choice of program.”

She gave him a puzzled look.

Joe paused. “Barry wants to be a CSI. The best program in the country to prep for that is the one at CCU. It’s all grand and glorious that he got into MetU, but I don’t think his heart is in it. I’m not sure it ever has been. He only applied because his teacher told him to.”

Iris mulled this over. She didn’t apply to the schools Mr. T suggested because she didn’t think she’d end up going, even if offered the chance. In the same situation, would Barry have applied anyway?

Maybe he would have.

 

“What’s going on with you and Barry?” Jessica asked, taking a seat beside Iris in the cafeteria. “You look so lonely sitting over here by yourself.”

Iris looked up from her mac and cheese and shrugged. “We just needed some space.”

“Did he profess his undying love for you?”

Iris shifted uncomfortably. “Something like that.”

Jess coughed up the Coke she was sipping on. “Oh my God! I was just kidding. What happened?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Was he jealous of your loverboy?”

“Jess,” Iris warned.

“What? I’m just curious. Are you bringing loverboy to Prom? I want to meet him.”

Iris’ eyes glanced over to Barry’s new spot where he was sitting with his back to her. She almost choked on her mac and cheese as she watched Becky Cooper approach him and ask if she could sit. He nodded a shy yes.

Iris felt the overwhelming urge to launch out of her seat and intervene, but she didn’t. She just stayed rooted to the spot and stared helplessly.

“Iris,” Jess called, snapping her out of her daze.

“Hmm? What?”

“I asked if you are bringing your man to Prom?”

“Oh. No. We broke up.”

Jess frowned. “Oh. I’m sorry. What happened?”

Iris shrugged, her eyes never leaving Barry. “I just realized it wasn’t the right thing.”

Jess followed Iris’ gaze over to Barry. “Right. Well, I’m going dress shopping on the weekend if you want to come.”

Iris shook her head. “I don’t think I’m going.”

“What?! You can’t _not_ go to Prom.”

“Yes I can,” Iris argued. “Lots of people don’t.”

Jess rolled her eyes. “Lots of people _regret_ not going to Prom. Listen, it might be totally lame, but you have to go anyway. That way, even if it is lame, you at least know that you went.”

Jess’ logic made sense.

It just broke Iris’ heart to know that the picture she’d had in her mind of going with Barry wouldn’t be happening.

“I’m picking you up at 1 on Saturday,” Jess declared. “You’d better be ready.”

“Okay,” Iris relented. “Whatever you say.”

 

Iris was overwhelmed by the colors and the tulle.

“Ooo, look at this one!” Jessica was saying excitedly as she unhooked a blue dress from its hanger and held it up to her body. “So pretty.”

Iris feigned a smile as her fingers trailed through the racks. Nothing seemed quite right.

She kept getting distracted by this daydream she’d been having recently. She and Barry at Prom, him looking dapper in a classic black tux, her looking svelte in a long red dress. He would turn out to be a surprisingly good dancer. She should have guessed by the way he made love that he had good rhythm.

He’d smile warmly at her and say, “I love you, Iris West.”

She’d say it right back.

Then they’d kiss like no one was watching.

And no one cared because everyone knew they were meant to be together.

So when he finally grabbed her hand and said, “Let’s get out of here,” the only whispers that followed them were declarations of “Finally!”

“You’d look great in this,” Jess declared, interrupting the daydream as she tossed Iris a dress.

Red.

It was perfect.

Just like she pictured.

Well. If she didn’t have Barry, at least she could have the dress.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: very brief non-consensual touching.

The dreary grey of March passed just as slowly as February. 

Joe forced Iris and Barry to sit at the same table, tired of having to bring them their meals separately and wanting to spend time with both kids. 

He also let Barry go out on his 18th birthday with Carlos. 

Iris wasn’t invited. It was the first birthday either of them hadn’t spent with the other since they’d known each other. What stung, even more, was that Barry and Carlos were going bowling. That was  _ their _ thing. 

But then, Iris had to stop herself. They didn’t have  _ things _ , anymore. They were barely speaking. 

So, she tried to put her feelings aside and wish him “Happy Birthday,” as he escaped out of the front door. 

“Thanks,” he said softly before he turned to leave.

Iris watched the back of the door for a little while before she found the will to move. 

 

“Ms. West? ... Iris.”

“Hmm?” She looked up from her desk to find Mr. T looking at her. 

“The bell for lunch rang a few minutes ago.”

“Oh. Right.” She folded up her notebook and started to pack up her bag.

“Is everything all right?” He asked her. 

“Yeah,” she said distantly. “Everything’s fine.”

Mr. T nodded. “I heard you got into CCU on a full scholarship. That’s great news.”

She smiled and nodded. “Yeah… it is… great, isn’t it?”

“You know the Alma Rose is very prestigious. You’ll go far with that attached to your resume.”

“Thanks, Mr. T,” she said getting up from the desk. 

“Iris... I know it’s not my place, but… I couldn’t help but notice you and Mr. Allen aren’t eating lunch together anymore.”

Iris froze. She wasn’t ready to have this conversation with an outsider. 

“You know… I met my wife in high school,” he mused. “She was captain of the cheerleading squad, straight As, had everything going for her.”

Iris listened patiently, wondering where this was going.  

“But her dad didn’t like me very much. He said I was going to hold her back. So I broke up with her.”

Iris sat down again, listening to him a little more attentively.

Mr. T laughed to himself. “It was the biggest mistake of my life. She ended up going off to a different college than I did, just to avoid me. She almost married another guy. Then we ran into each other one night when we were home for the holidays. Realized nothing had changed between us. I thought I was helping her by taking myself out of the equation, but I steered us both off course. Thankfully we figured it out in the end, but we lost a lot of time... time I wish I could get back.”

“Why are you telling me this, Mr. T?” Iris asked. 

“I thought you might be going through something similar,” he said knowingly. 

Iris nodded. “But… you said you didn’t want me getting distracted.”

“I didn’t. Then again, I’ve never seen you more distracted since you and Barry Allen stopped having lunch.”

Iris laughed mirthlessly. “Yeah, well…”

“Sometimes we’re better with our other half by our side.”

She nodded thoughtfully as she slung her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. “Thanks, Mr. T,” she said, briefly turning back.

“No problem,” he called after her. “Just looking out for one of my favorite students.”

Iris meandered down the hallway towards the cafeteria. It was bustling with the usual lunchtime onslaught. 

Iris spied Barry in the corner, his head resting in his hand, talking to Becky Cooper. The sight made her want to vomit. 

Maybe she should try to talk to him.

She summoned all of her courage and walked over to where they were sitting. 

“Hi Barry,” she said as she approached.

Barry and Becky both looked up at her in surprise. 

“I was — um — wondering if I could talk to you?” She asked.

Becky’s eyes flitted between them. “I just remembered,” she said, scooting sideways out of her chair, “I forgot to return an overdue library book.” 

Becky excused herself and Barry watched her walk away, hesitant to meet Iris’ eyes.

“Do you… want to go for a walk?” Iris asked. 

Barry looked down at his empty tray. He had no excuse. “Okay,” he said reluctantly.

They exited the cafeteria out of the side doors and onto the field, wandering in behind the bleachers where it was a little more private. It was an unusually warm day for the end of March, and they didn’t need their coats. 

Iris wasn’t sure what to say so they walked in silence until Barry turned and said, “I thought you wanted to talk?”

Iris stopped walking. “I do.”

“Well?” He asked. 

She searched for words. “I miss you.” It came tumbling out before she could filter it.

His brows knitted, his eyes turning turquoise and glassy. His face squished together into a pout like he didn’t know what to say.

She realized she shouldn’t have opened with that, but now that she had, she couldn’t believe he wasn’t saying anything. It was like she was throwing her emotions at a brick wall. It was hard to think that he didn’t feel the same way. Maybe he hated her now. 

_ I guess I deserve that _ , she thought, despairingly.

She tried changing the topic. “Did you accept your place at MetU?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet. “Not yet.”

Iris nodded. “But you’re going to, right?”

“Dunno,” he replied. 

_ Great, one word answers. _

“Barry, I’m sorry I hurt you,” she said. 

He looked up at her, holding her gaze for the longest amount of time since February. “Can this wait until we get home?” He asked, his tone uncomfortably cold. 

Iris bit her lip and choked back the knot growing in her throat. “Yeah — okay, sure.”

 

At home, Iris decided she wasn’t up for their talk, opting instead to hole herself up in her room. She looked around at the familiar surroundings, missing the days when intimacy with Barry came so easily. She thought about the first time Barry had undressed her in here, or the way he tackled her to the bed and made her come with his mouth, the way he held her sweetly while they made love, the way he spooned her afterward.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to forget. 

The more she tried, the harder it was.

 

As April arrived, so too did the deadlines for replying to their college offers. The Monday before Prom, and the day before the CCU deadline, Iris sat in the library, trying to login to the online system to accept her offer. She was just about to complete the steps and confirm her decision when the system crashed. "Fuck!" She exclaimed, startling their friendly school librarian.   
  
"Sorry, Ms Mason," Iris apologized as she rushed to pack up her backpack. 

She ran out of the library and down to the guidance office, before pounding on Ms. Wilson's door. She quickly recounted what happened as she tried to catch her breath. 

“Oh that’s no problem, Iris,” Ms. Wilson responded happily when Iris told her the story. “I’ll just login with my admin account and see what’s going on.”

“Thanks,” Iris said as she waited anxiously.

“Okay, here we go,” Ms. Wilson murmured as she fit her reading glasses onto her nose. “Ah, yes, looks like it went through! You’re all set.”

Iris breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”

“Congratulations on the Alma Rose,” Ms. Wilson said, looking over her file. “That’s a very prestigious scholarship.”

Iris gave a shy smile as she picked up her backpack. “So I’ve been told.”

“And Barry must be happy,” Ms. Wilson continued.

Iris paused. “Hmm?”

“To be going to the same school as his best friend? It’s always nice to have someone we know with us when we move on to a new chapter in life.”

“W-what did you say?” Iris asked, not sure she’d heard the guidance counsellor correctly.

“He accepted his place at CCU this morning.”

“He did?” 

“He did.”

“But… what about MetU?” Iris asked, not really thinking that Ms. Wilson would have the answer. 

“Oh yes,” Ms. Wilson replied thoughtfully. “Well, he said he was more interested in the program at CCU, so we can’t argue with that, now can we?”

Iris thought about it. “No,” she said, her voice drifting off. “I guess not.”

“Congratulations again, Iris.”

“Thanks, Ms. Wilson.”

 

“Did you pick up your dress?” Jess asked her at lunch the next day. 

“Hmm?” Iris only half heard her. She was staring at the back of Barry’s head again. He was eating with his new lunch buddy Becky Cooper again. Was there something going on between them?

“Your dress. Did you pick it up?”

“Oh, yeah. I did.”

“Okay, well my mom said she can pick you up at 7 on Friday if you want a ride.”

“Sure,” Iris replied. “That’d be great.”

“Does Barry need a ride?”

Iris looked over at her friend. Surely she hadn’t meant the double entendre. “I think he’s fine.”

Her gaze returned to him and Becky.

What had she done?

 

On Friday, most seniors took the day off. It was standard time for hair and nails to be done, and depending on the crowd you hung with, pre-drinks to be had. 

Iris did her own hair, knowing she could do it just as well as any salon. She styled it in loose curls, adding a sparkly barrette over her left ear, channeling some old Hollywood glamour.

The dress was perfect, but she felt sad as she put it on. She wasn’t even sure why she was going anymore. She already knew it was going to be a terrible evening. 

At 6:45 she descended the steps to find her father waiting. He’d asked the Captain if he could head into work later so that he could see her off. He was smiling with tears in his eyes. “My baby girl is a woman,” he said, pulling her in for a hug.

“Thanks, Dad.” She looked hesitantly back up the stairs, unsure if Barry was upstairs or not.

“He said he’d get ready at Carlos’ house,” Joe said, following her eyes.

Iris nodded. Of course, he wouldn’t want to be around her when they were getting ready for Prom.

Jess knocked on the front door, dressed in the blue gown she’d discovered while they were shopping. 

“Girl!” She exclaimed when she saw Iris. “If looks could kill, I’d be dead.”

Iris laughed and did a little twirl. “Thanks.”

“Let me get a picture,” her father said, snapping a few photos before he’d let them leave.

Iris couldn’t help but feel like there was one photo they were missing. 

 

The gym was decorated in balloons, streamers and twinkle lights. There wasn’t a recognizable theme, but it was nicely done all the same. Iris felt her heart lift a little.  _ Empire State of Mind _ was playing and everything seemed a little better than it had a few hours ago.

“C’mon let’s dance,” Jessica exclaimed, pulling her into the crowd.

Iris let the music wash over her as she swayed her hips and sang along to the chorus. Things might not have been going great, but for the first time in a long time, she felt like it was going to get better. She was going to finish high school, move downtown and attend the college of her choice on a prestigious scholarship. 

Somehow, she resolved, she was going to earn back Barry’s trust. She might have broken things between them, but maybe they could eventually be friends. They were going to be running into each other on CCU campus anyway. They would have to learn to be cordial. 

As song after song played, she and Jess kept dancing until she felt like she couldn’t feel her feet anymore.

“I’m going to get a drink,” she hollered over the music at Jess.

“What?” Jess hollered back.

“A drink!” Iris shouted before sidling over to the punch table. 

She ladled a spoonful into a cup, then turned back to the dance floor to watch her friend do a crazy rendition of ‘the shopping cart’. She laughed, almost choking on her punch, a little bit of the drink spurting out onto her chin as she did. She reached for a napkin to wipe her mouth, spotting something horrible as she did.

There was Barry, looking just as dapper as she’d imagined in a classic black tux. 

Her knees wobbled a little as she caught sight of him. They righted themselves when she took in who he was surrounded by. Carlos was by his side, which was not unexpected. It was Becky Cooper’s presence that gave her pause.

So he  _ had  _ brought Becky instead of her.

Iris clutched her stomach, feeling like she might hurl. 

The sensation only became more intense as she suddenly found herself being whipped around and pulled against someone. Someone large and burly. Someone being Tony Woodward. 

“Hey Iris,” he smiled greasily at her. 

“Tony,” she replied shortly, trying to push him out of her personal space. 

“I see you ditched your shadow,” he grinned slimily. 

Iris wriggled, trying to get free from him. She wasn’t weak, but Tony was stronger. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I mean,” he growled. “Now that you’re done with string bean, you can see what a real man is all about.”

“In your dreams,” she spat, stomping her heel on his foot. 

He stumbled a little but righted himself quickly. “Hey,” he yelled after her, swinging his arm out and catching her by the waist. “I want to dance.”

“I don’t,” Iris replied firmly. 

Tony just ignored her and started dragging her towards the dance floor. 

Iris felt a wave of panic wash over her. Part of her wanted to fight him, part of her wanted to run. Unable to decide which, she froze. 

“She  _ said _ she doesn’t want to dance, Tony,” warned a voice behind them.

Iris wrenched her neck around. 

_ Barry. _


	18. Chapter 18

A crowd was drawing.

Iris recognized a number of faces from Becky Cooper’s party. They would have all seen what happened that night. They were waiting anxiously for the sequel. 

Tony seemed aware and uncomfortable with the attention. His hold on Iris slipped and she managed to wriggle free of him. 

“What?” Tony chided. “Is this the part where you tell me she’s supposed to be dancing with _you_?”

Barry’s eyes were flickering with rage, but he kept his face calm. “That’s up to her.”

In a graceful movement, he extended his hand to Iris, his eyes meeting hers properly for the first time in weeks. 

She wanted to drown in that sea of green. 

Somewhere far off, Beyoncé’s  _ Halo _ was starting to play. 

All she could do was reach out and take his hand. Swiftly, surprisingly, skillfully, he pulled her into his chest, wrapping one hand around the small of her back, holding her’s with the other. 

Silently he held her as they began to sway. Iris ventured to rest her head on his chest as they turned. 

The crowd of onlookers slowly went back to the festivities, realizing there was nothing to see. 

As they spun slowly in a circle, Iris saw Tony sulking off into a dark corner, only to be stopped by Mr. T for not actually having a ticket to prom. She was relieved to see the bully escorted out of the dance. 

Iris closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Barry’s heart beating in his chest. She wanted the moment to last forever. He might still be furious with her, but the gentle touch of his hand against her back would never have betrayed that. 

She missed this. She missed him. She missed being close: emotionally, physically, spiritually. This was how it was supposed to be, the two of them, together forever. 

She still loved him. Loved him with every fiber of her being. She’d never stopped. 

Maybe she should just tell him. 

It was right there, on the tip of her tongue. 

All she had to do was open her mouth and say it. 

But all too soon, the song and the moment ended. Beyoncé faded away, replaced by the thrumming synth of Lady Gaga’s  _ Poker Face _ . 

Barry stepped back from her, not meeting her gaze. 

“Thank you,” Iris said quietly.

He nodded, murmuring something Iris couldn’t quite hear before he edged away through the crowd. She watched him as he went, returning to Carlos and, surprise surprise, Becky. 

Iris’ mouth was dry. She hadn’t had the chance to rehydrate properly. She looked around to see if she could spot Jessica. Unable to find her friend, and needing some air, she left the gym and headed into the hall to the water fountain. She took a long drink, then walked to the washroom. 

Inside, she paused in front of the mirror. Her makeup was still okay. 

She felt warm. She twisted on the tap and placed her hands under the cold stream of water. Her skin chilled, she patted her cheeks and neck. 

The door squeaked open as she was just about to reapply her lipstick. 

To Iris’ dismay, Becky Cooper took the sink next to her, reaching into her clutch for her own lipstick. 

“I like your dress,” Becky said. 

Iris couldn’t tell, was it a peace offering?

“Thank you,” Iris said. “Yours, too.” 

It was floor length and covered in gold sequins. Not everyone could pull that off. She could see why Barry liked her. And she was trying to be nice. Maybe Iris should try to be nice, too. 

“I’m happy for you,” Iris said.

Becky glanced at her through the mirror with a puzzled look on her face. “What do you mean?”

“You and Barry,” Iris said. “You came here together, right?”

Becky pushed the cap onto her lipstick. It closed with a click. 

“No, Iris. We didn’t.”

“Oh,” Iris literally bit her tongue. “I just thought... you’ve been spending so much time together.”

Becky turned to her with a tired look on her face. “You mean lunch?”

Iris nodded.

“I started eating with Barry because something was obviously wrong,” Becky said. “And you weren’t sitting with him anymore.”

“He didn’t want to sit with  _ me _ ,” Iris corrected. 

“After you broke his heart,” Becky scolded. 

Iris’ mouth snapped shut. 

“All he ever does is talk about you, and how you were just starting to figure everything out, and how he doesn’t know what went wrong.” 

Iris’ eyes were welling. She knew it was true. She just didn’t want to hear it. 

“Look,” Becky said, reaching into her clutch again and pulling out her phone. She shoved it into Iris’ hand after finding whatever it was she wanted to show.

It was a picture of her and Barry from just a few minutes ago, dancing, clearly oblivious to everything in the world except each other. 

“Everyone can see how much you love each other,” Becky said.  “Everyone except the two of you.”

Iris looked up at Becky. 

A hot flush of humility flooded through Iris as she realized how wrong she’d been to let him go. 

She knew now what she needed to do.

She needed to fix it.

“I have to go,” Iris said, breathlessly, suddenly trembling as she picked up the skirt of her dress. 

Becky nodded as Iris raced around her, out into the hall and back towards the gym. 

Iris’ eyes scanned the crowd furiously, searching for Barry’s familiar chestnut hair. It was hard to see as their classmates waved their hands, jumping and swaying as Rihanna sang  _ Under my um-ber-ella, ella, ella, eh eh eh.  _

Iris skirted around the dancing crowd, growing frantic as she searched hopelessly.

No luck. 

She tried looking for some other friendly face, but when her eyes landed on Jessica, she was busy making out with Riley Reynolds. At least one of them was having some luck tonight.

She kept searching the crowd, hopeful that she might still find Barry. From a distance, she spotted Carlos flailing his limbs frantically. Barry wasn’t anywhere to be seen. She pushed her way through the throng to where Carlos was and grabbed him by the arm. “Hey!” She shouted over the music. 

“ _ Hey  _ Iris!” 

His dance moves looked like they were designed to hurt someone. She took a step back for safety’s sake. “Where’s Barry?!”

He raised his hands in a shrug. “I don’t know! I think he ditched! Said something about a reservation?” 

Iris paused. 

Of course. 

The Inn by the water. 

_ Is that okay?  _ Barry’s voice echoed in her head. _ I’m not being gross, am I? I can’t cancel it. _

Poor Barry must have gone alone, not wanting to lose his deposit. 

Iris panicked for a minute, trying to figure out what to do.

“Carlos! Did you drive?” Iris asked, grabbing a hold of his hands.

“What?”

“ _ Did you drive?” _ She tried again louder.

“Yeah!”

“Can you give me a ride?”

He stopped dancing and looked at her, then looked around the crowded gym. “You want me to leave?” 

“They’ll let you back in. Please, Carlos, it’s important.” 

He frowned a little. “Okay.”

 

“I can’t believe I’m driving you to get laid by Barry,” Carlos said as he raced through Central City’s streets. 

“Don’t be gross about it,” Iris chided. “And we don’t know what's going to happen.”

“I’m driving you to the hotel room that he booked before you broke up with him, so you can tell him you love him. Pretty sure there’s going to be some sweet tender lovin’ at the end of that.” 

Iris’ cheeks warmed. “Shut up and drive.”

Carlos hit the pedal and the radio at the same time. 

Serendipitously, the radio was playing Rihanna, too. 

_ Told you I'll be here forever _

_ Said I'll always be your friend _

_ Took an oath that I'm a stick it out 'til the end _ .

Iris cranked it. 

 

She swung open the door to the fancy old inn. The concierge looked up at her as she entered. “Good evening,” he greeted pleasantly.

“Hi,” she said timidly as she approached the desk. “Is there a Barry Allen here?”

He smiled warmly. “Oh, you must be Mrs. West-Allen.” 

Iris blinked. What did he just say to her? “Um. Yeah. That’s me,” she played along. 

He turned to his computer for a moment and reached under the desk for a fresh keycard to magnetize. He swiped it through the card reader and placed it in a small envelope. “Room 507,” he said with a smile as he handed it over to her.

“Thank you,” Iris said, slightly stunned as she took a step away from the desk and headed towards the elevators. 

Inside, she pressed the button for the fifth floor. The elevator took forever as it slowly ascended. Finally, the doors opened with a ping. 

She rushed out into the hallway, looking up and down at the numbers on the doors, trying to figure out which way to go. The numbers were going down to the right, so she followed it a few down to 507. 

She stopped and listened for a minute. She wasn’t sure what she was listening for, but hearing nothing she decided to knock. 

There was no answer.

Iris looked at the tiny envelope in her hand. She slipped the keycard out of it and tried it in the door. It flashed green. She twisted the door handle and shoved it open. 

She stepped forward into a small entranceway. Further in, Barry was seated on the floor at the end of a king size bed. His bow tie and the top buttons of his shirt were undone. He looked totally and utterly dejected. 

She stepped forward. He looked up, blinking like he wasn’t sure he was really seeing her. 

“Iris?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head canon, Barry loves _Poker Face_ because of how he feels about Iris.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the conclusion...

“Iris?” Barry asked. “What are you doing here?”

The question made her pause. She took a moment to survey the scene. Barry’s stubble was starting to grow in. It made him look tired and sad. Beside him, a bottle of champagne was uncorked. He’d clearly already taken a few sips straight from the bottle.

She scanned the rest of the room. There was an ice bucket and two champagne flutes on the dresser. Apparently, they were supposed to go with the bottle. 

The room itself was lovely. The decor was warm, with the perfect blend of traditional and modern. Beyond the comfortable-looking, enormous bed, there was a jacuzzi. It was scattered with rose petals. Her heart ached thinking about what he might have asked for when he was making the reservation, thinking they’d spend a romantic night here after prom. 

“Carlos,” she breathed. “He said you’d be here.”

Barry just stared up at her. 

She stared back, aware of the palpable tension between them.

“Bear,” she choked. “I miss you so much.” That old familiar lump was hardening in her throat.

She wished he’d say something. Anything. Why wouldn’t he talk to her? 

“Bear, I’m sorry,” she continued. “For everything.”

“Don’t,” he started, clambering to his feet. “Don’t -- tell me it was a mistake.” He shook his head and waved his hand slightly at her. “I don’t want to hear it, I can’t --”

“ -- You -- you think I thought it was a mistake?” Iris cut him off.

He paused and turned his sad eyes to her. 

“It wasn’t a mistake,” she said quietly. “I would never think that.”

“I don’t understand,” he croaked.

“Bear -- I -- You had this amazing opportunity to go to the best school in the country…”

At this, Barry forcefully carded his hands through his hair and pulled at the strands at the back of his neck.

“I didn’t want you to make the wrong decision because of me,” she told him, her voice cracking as she tried desperately to explain.

Barry’s mouth gaped. “Iris... a decision because of you could never be wrong.”

“That was what I was afraid you’d say,” she told him, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. “ _ Why _ didn’t you accept MetU?”

He shook his head. “It’s not where I want to be. I never intended to go… I just… wanted to see what they’d say.”

Iris frowned. “But -- a full ride, Bear.”

“I don’t need it,” he said. “Maybe someone else does.”

Iris’ heart warmed a little. It was so like Barry to think of it that way. 

They stared each other down. 

Iris knew what she needed to say, it was just so hard to get it out. It was like telling him for the first time, all over again. 

“I still love you,” she finally managed.

He batted his eyes.

“I never stopped,” she continued. “I never stopped loving you.”

Iris’ heart was pounding forcefully in her chest, pushing the blood up into her ears as she laid everything on the line. She felt for a moment that time had slowed.

Then, he was rushing forwards, taking her by the jaw, pulling her face into his and kissing her passionately. 

His lips tasted sweet like champagne. 

She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, desperate to remember the way that it felt to kiss him. How had she survived so long without this?

“Why did you push me away?” Barry implored her, briefly breaking from her lips.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” she reiterated.

“Iris, that’s ridiculous. You could never hold me back. I’m at my best when I’m with you. The last few months have been --”

“Horrible,” she cut in.

“Horrible,” he agreed.

“The worst months of my life,” she told him, pressing her lips to his again.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into him.  

“Do you think you could ever love me again?” Iris asked into his chest.

“Iris,” Barry rasped. “I can’t love you  _ again _ .”

Her heart sank and she squeezed her eyes shut.

She knew it. She’d broken them beyond repair. 

“ -- Because I never stopped in the first place,” He finished. 

Iris pulled back, hardly believing her ears.

Then, for the first time in months, Barry smiled at her. His whole face lit up. It was like someone had taken a match to a pound of magnesium.

God, how she’d missed that smile. 

He kissed her tenderly, deeply, trying to make up for the lost time. 

She threaded her hands under the jacket of his tuxedo and wrapped them around his back. 

He reached for the zipper on her dress as he kissed her, pulling it down in an agonizing stroke with one hand, following with the other palm against her flesh. She shuddered at his touch. 

“Barry?” She asked quietly against his lips.

“Iris?”

“Make love to me.”

He nodded as the dress fell away, pooling in elegant folds at her feet, leaving her totally exposed save for the same red lace panties she’d worn the first time they’d made love. 

She pushed his jacket from his shoulders and pulled his shirt out of his cummerbund, unbuttoning him in a rush, pulling frantically at the layers of fabric until there were none left.

He hooked his fingers under her underwear and peeled them from her legs, kneeling briefly as she stepped out of them. Then, as he stood again, he grasped her by the back of her thighs, lifting her up around his waist as he turned around and laid her down on the bed. 

As much as Iris didn’t like to admit it, Carlos was right. 

They made the sweetest, tenderest love that night. Barry held her close with his arm around the small of her back as he rocked gently down into her. 

Iris couldn’t think for the life of her what had ever possessed her to give this up. She knew she’d never make the same mistake again, and she told him so, whispering it into his ear, telling him how much she loved him as they edged together into bliss.

 

“You looked so beautiful tonight,” Barry told her after, as they lay spent. 

Their bodies were arranged like a yin and yang in the center of the mattress. They were passing back and forth the bottle of champagne that had almost been forgotten on the floor. Iris rested her head on Barry’s thigh while he took the bottle. He rested his head on hers when it was her turn to drink. 

“I liked your dress,” he continued.

“Yeah?” Iris verified.

“Yeah,” Barry confirmed, taking a swig and passing the bottle back to her. “Though... I think I like it better on the floor.” He craned his neck a little to check if it was still lying where they’d left it. 

Iris giggled as she took a taste from the bottle. “I meant to tell you,” she began, “Thank you for intervening... with Tony.”

Barry studied her as he took the champagne back. He nodded. “I know you can handle yourself. I just … couldn’t stand the way he was touching you.” He sipped and passed it back to her. 

Iris nodded. She took a long drink. “Bear? What did you say… when we were finished dancing? I couldn’t hear.”

He blushed, looking shyly down at the bed. “Always,” he said. “I said, always.”

She nodded, fidgeting with the lip of the bottle. “So… a funny thing happened when I got here,” she laughed. “The concierge called me … Mrs. West-Allen?”

Barry blinked and blushed again, stroking her thigh with his hand and pressing a kiss against her skin. “Yeah,” he chuckled. “I may have said it was our first wedding anniversary. I wanted to order the champagne for us.”

“They believed you?”

He shrugged happily. “I’m a convincing actor.”

Iris grinned as she took another sip, then handed him the bottle. He took a taste and handed it back to her.

“It sounds kind of nice,” Iris mused.

“What?” Barry asked.

“Mrs. West-Allen.”

A wide grin stretched across his face. “Yeah, it does, doesn’t it?”

She smiled at him, then took another swig.

“Have I told you,” he began, his voice a low and husky, “That watching you do that kinda turns me on?”

“Oh yeah?” Iris giggled, taking another slow, dramatic sip. 

“Yeah,” he said hoarsely.

“Why’s that?” She teased.

“You know why.”

“Hmm,” Iris murmured seductively, reaching over to set the bottle down on the bedside table. “Whatever shall we do about that, Mr. Allen?”

“You tell me, Mrs. West-Allen.”

 

At 3 a.m. the sound of Iris’ phone startled her awake. She lifted her head off of Barry’s chest and stumbled around the darkened room trying to find her phone. She forgot she had left it and her clutch on the dresser.

“Hello?” She said groggily as she raised it to her ear. It took her brain a few seconds to catch up. 

“Iris,” came her father’s voice on the other end. “Where are you? Are you all right? Have you heard from Barry? He’s not home either.”

“Dad -- I’m sorry, I’m okay. We’re okay. We’re together.”

There was a pause on the other end.

“ _ Together... _ together?”

“Yeah… we figured things out.”

She heard her dad sigh. “Well that’s something. You scared me, not coming home.”

“I’m sorry, Dad. I just kind of … forgot.”

“Are you safe?”

“Yeah, Dad, we’re both safe.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. We’ll be home in the morning.” 

“Okay, I’ll be waiting. Be smart. Both of you.”

“We will.”

“Love you, Iris.”

“Love you, too, Dad.”

She ended the call and put her phone back down on the dresser.

“Are we in trouble?” Barry asked groggily, stirring from his sleep.

“Maybe,” she laughed. “Guess I should have called earlier.”

“He’ll forgive us,” Barry said, reaching out his hand. “Come back to bed.”

 

The next time Iris woke, it was because her stomach was growling. 

Daylight was filtering in through the window, and the alarm clock beside the bed read 7:03 am.

“Bear,” she whispered as she nuzzled him with her nose. “You awake?”

His eyes fluttered open. “Hey,” he smiled, nuzzling her back. 

“I’m hungry,” she pouted. 

He chuckled as he rolled towards her and threw an arm across her waist. “I think there’s supposed to be breakfast downstairs.”

“You want to go get some with me?”

“Yeah.”

Iris smiled and got out of bed, pausing as she tripped over her dress and realizing something quite problematic. “Oh,” she said, blushing a little. “I guess I don’t have a change of clothes.”

Barry rolled out of bed and stepped towards a bag that he’d left on the armchair. He unzipped it, pulled out a pile of clothes and tossed it towards Iris. His burgundy sweater, and a pair of grey joggers. “Take mine,” he said.

“What are you going to wear?” Iris puzzled as she slipped on Barry’s soft clothes. 

He looked at the pile of discarded formal wear, grabbing the tuxedo pants and the plain white t-shirt he’d worn under the button-down. “How do I look?” He smirked.

Iris giggled. “Like you are about to do the walk of shame.”

“Walk of  _ pride _ ,” he corrected with a grin.

She laughed. “C’mon, I need pancakes.”

 

When it came check-out time, Barry and Iris meandered down to the lobby, where Iris witnessed Barry’s acting skills first hand. Something about the way he was pretending to be her husband made her stomach feel all kinds of fluttery. 

The concierge ordered them a cab and when they got in the back, their hands traced across the centre seat to intertwine.

Finally, the familiar sight of the West house’s evergreen siding came into view. Barry, ever the gentleman, went around to Iris’ side to open her door and offered her a hand.

They climbed the stairs of the front porch, both a little nervous to meet Joe inside. 

He was waiting in the armchair facing the door, sipping on a cup of coffee. 

“Hi, Dad,” Iris said sheepishly as they entered.

“Good morning,” he said dryly. “You two have a good time?” There was a weight to his words that suggested they were on the verge of getting in trouble. Iris didn’t miss the expression on her father’s face as he registered that she was wearing Barry’s clothes.

She caught Barry’s eye as he set the garment bag carrying his tuxedo jacket and her dress over the railing of the stairs. He gave her a reassuring look, which gave her the strength to say, “Yeah. We did.”

Barry slipped his fingers between hers, standing supportively at her side. 

Joe eyed their hands. “I take it you made up?”

They nodded. 

“Should I even ask where you were?” 

They looked at each other, uncertain and awkward, trying to think of something to say.

“Nevermind,” Joe said, holding up a hand. “I don’t want to know. I’m just… glad you’re home, and that you’re not fighting anymore. You two are going to give a man grey hair before his time.”

Iris walked around the couch to her dad and gave him a hug. “Sorry, Dad.”

He sighed. “You know it’s too bad y’all couldn’t have figured this out sooner. I didn’t even get to take a picture of you two all dressed up together.”

“Oh,” Barry said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. “I might be able to help with that.”

His thumb flitted back and forth across the screen before he handed it over to Joe. Iris peered over her dad’s arm to look at the screen.

It was Barry’s text thread with Becky Cooper. It was a string of pictures. Not just the one she’d shown Iris in the bathroom, but several others beginning with Iris reaching for Barry’s outstretched hand, to another of him pulling her in, to several of them turning together (including the one she’d seen earlier), and finally one where Barry’s chin was resting on her head, both of their eyes closed like they just wanted to hold onto the moment forever.

Iris’ eyes turned glassy, thinking about how she felt while those pictures were being taken. She observed how close they were, and remembered how far she felt from him at the time. 

Beneath the pictures, Becky wrote,  _ Hope the rest of your night went well. _

“Well,” Joe said, clearing his throat like even he was getting a little emotional. “That was nice of Becky.”

“Yeah,” Iris said. “It was.”


	20. Chapter 20

“Bear?” Iris asked as they approached school on Monday morning. He’d just dropped her hand in the routine way they’d gotten used to before the whole fiasco. 

“Yeah?” He paused and looked over at her. 

“I don’t want to hide anymore,” she said. “I mean... I don’t want us to hide.”

A flicker of happiness fluttered over Barry’s eyes as she took his hand back. “Are you sure?” He asked. “You don’t mind if people talk?”

“I don’t care what people say or think,” she told him. “I just want to be with you.”

He nodded and lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. They approached the front doors hand in hand, breezing through like this was how they were always supposed to be. 

No one seemed to notice at first. Maybe they’d been making a mountain out of a molehill. It wasn’t until they were further up the hallway that eyes started to linger. She pulled Barry in closer, linking her arm with his and holding him tightly as they made the trek towards their lockers. 

A gentle hush of whispers followed them. It felt like the corridor was extending out beyond them, like a movie scene where the foreground gets closer while the background stretches away. Iris shook off the feeling of being watched, rolling her shoulders back and walking tall alongside Barry.

She loved him and that was all that mattered. 

They reached their lockers, taking their locks in hand, dialing their combinations and opening the metal doors while smirking sideways at one another. It was good. It was like normal. But better. 

They unpacked their weekend homework and repacked their first period materials. Then, Iris started to feel a growing sense of separation anxiety. She would have to part from Barry for the first time since their reunion. 

“Hey,” he said, smiling as he towered over her. “Why the long face?”

“Guess we have to say goodbye,” she thought aloud.

“Not goodbye. Just, ‘See you later’.”

Iris nodded, then pressed up onto her toes and met his lips with hers. She only intended for it to be a peck, but as soon as their lips met, she knew she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to pull away quickly. He bent his head down into her, deepening the kiss until she wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him down.

Down the hall somewhere, someone let out a long, low whistle. It was muted only by the sound of the warning bell. 

The combination of sounds shattered the moment, and they broke away from each other. 

A passing, silvery voice sang, “Finally.” 

Iris looked over to see Becky Cooper walking by with a smile on her face. She caught Iris’ eye and nodded. Iris returned the gesture. 

“See you at lunch?” Barry asked, his eyes never leaving Iris. 

She nodded. “Yeah. See you at lunch.”

Then, for good measure and so that he wouldn’t forget forget the first one, she kissed him again.

“West, Allen,” boomed Mr. T’s voice as he peered out of his classroom. “Get to class.”

Iris blushed as she looked over at their teacher. She was relieved to see his mouth was upturned in the slightest suggestion of a grin.

 

“You don’t think they’d let us share a room, do you?” Iris mused jokingly as she and Barry sat beside one another at the dining room table, looking over the applications for residence.

“We could try,” Barry suggested.

“I don’t think so,” Joe cut in.

“We already live together,” Iris pointed out.

“Not in the same room you don’t. You’ve always had your separate spaces.”

“So you’d rather we be roommates with complete strangers than each other?” Iris tried to argue.

“Yes, actually,” Joe confirmed. “Look, if you want to match your building preferences and try to live nearby, that’s one thing. But having a roommate and spaces that are separate from each other is all part of the experience. And remember, your priority will be focusing on your studies.”

“I was just kidding, anyway,” Iris tried to save.

Barry reached for her hand under the table and squeezed.

Joe disappeared into the kitchen, and Barry leaned over to kiss her neck, whispering “One day,” in her ear.

 

Later, when they were curled up on Barry’s bed watching Breaking Bad, Iris propped her chin on his chest and looked up at him expectantly. “Bear?”

“Yeah?” 

“When you think about college… and after… what do you see?”

Barry blinked at her, smiling with his eyes. He reached over and paused the show. He wrapped his arms around her back and squeezed her into his chest. “I see us… moving into residence… making new friends who know us only as Barry and Iris, high school sweethearts... working our way through school… getting our own place eventually… pursuing our careers and individual dreams, but always having each other’s backs… clearing my dad’s name… then one day… getting married… having some kids --”

“How many?” She questioned softly, following the picture he was painting.

He pressed a kiss into the top of her head. “A couple. Twins, maybe,” he teased.

“Barry Allen, I am not having twins.”

“All right, all right, not twins. Then, y’know, growing old together.”

Iris smiled and burrowed into his chest, wrapping her arm around him and squeezing tightly. “Sounds nice.”

“Only nice?”

“More than nice… perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Fin_
> 
> I hope you liked it! 
> 
> Y'all have been wonderful to write for. Thanks for leaving me so many lovely comments and sharing your feels. Lots of love you all.
> 
> I've got a couple other ideas rolling around in my brain... like maybe a West(Allen) Side Story? And some thoughts on my old stories too... we'll see! I'll be back.


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